The Broken Hearts Club [Joshler]

Follow Your Heart But If It's In Million Pieces, Which Piece Do You Follow?

Knock knock, open the door, it's depression. If you want something not as angsty as this you should check out Where's My Love by isleofdema. It's a cute and cheesy story, I know y'all like those.

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The sky was dark blue, the stars were still twinkling in the velvet abyss, protesting against the birth of light. Josh stood on the balcony looking out across the grounds, the green blocks of grass by shrubs and wedges, a bottle of liquor in his hand. He sipped the beverage slowly, letting it burn his throat and the empty stomach. The man blinked lazily, his red swollen eyes drooping as his gaze slipped across the horizon. He flicked the ash of his cigar before drawing in another long puff. The man wasn't a smoker, he just liked to collect expensive cigars for fun. Josh realized that there's literally no point in collecting them if they're gonna sit in a pretty glass container until they fall apart. Such a waste. Josh was gonna enjoy his collection of cancer sticks because god damn it, he paid good money for them.

Josh exhaled the smoke, memories of high school flooded his mind. He remembered how he used to sneak to the back of the school's garden and share a cigarette with his friends. Smoking was such a big deal in their community since he went to a prestige religion based school for boys. Josh never got why they separated girls from boys like that would stop them from sneaking out. Josh hit the jackpot, he didn't really need to sneak out because he always liked boys more than girls. Don't get me wrong, girls were and they smelled good. What can I say, Josh liked dick more.

The cheap smoke of a forbidden cigarette couldn't compare to the rich expensive taste of the cigar from Cuba. Still, the silly memories from high school couldn't compare to the dread Josh was feeling right now. Him smoking his five thousand worth of cigars was a sign of desperation. Josh held the bottle of alcohol in his hand tightly. He was still kinda drunk from yesterday and didn't want to drop it.

The man swayed a bit, his hand clutched the edge of the railing to prevent his body from rolling over and falling to his death. Josh chuckled nervously realizing how fragile human life was. Josh leaned over to look at the rose bushes below. He could've let go so easily, let his body fall freely, crash onto the ground. The man's fingers slipped. He leaned back, heart thumping wildly in his chest. Josh cursed at himself for playing with fate like that. One second and he would've died or at least injured himself for life.

The man was a big fat liar and a hypocrite. The man grabbed his keys without a second thought and climbed into his car. Everything was kinda blurry but Josh decided that he was sober enough to drive. It was early morning, the majority of people were still sleeping so the percentage of him crashing into someone was very low. But still, there was a chance.

Luckily, the man didn't kill himself or kill someone else with his car but he came pretty close to crashing into a pole or driving onto the sidewalk. At this point, Josh didn't even care about damaging his car. It was just a piece of metal, a pile of junk to him that didn't hold any emotional value. The sky grumbled together with Josh's stomach. It was going to rain soon.

Josh was sad but he didn't feel anything in particular. He just kinda became numb to the feeling. The older man acknowledged that he was extremely upset but no other specific feelings were triggered. The emotions just blended into one melancholic smoothie leaving the man's limbs freezing and his heart shut off to the world. The brunet knew exactly why he was feeling that way, I mean, it was pretty fucking obvious. Tyler was shitty, he treated Josh shitty, Josh wasn't a peachy pie himself. The man regretted every part of that conversation. He was disgusted with the way he acted like an animal.

Sure, the boy messed up big time and no matter how it hurt Josh that he betrayed him, the curly-haired man didn't stop loving him. Love wasn't just a piece of machinery with a switch that you could flip to turn it off. It was more like a machine with ten thousand different switches buttons and blinking lights. You turn one off, ten different ones turn on the second you flip the switch. It was a neverending puzzle game with no winners.

Josh didn't hurry into the youth centre. He had too many memories in that building, he didn't want them all piling up at the same time. Josh climbed the stairs slowly, it wasn't like he had to be somewhere. The meetings usually started at twelve. Josh glanced at the clock, it was five in the morning. Five in the morning. The rain had started to pour, Josh was lucky that he rushed inside before he got completely drenched.

The man shook his head thinking that he's crazy. He stopped to listen. A faint melody reached his ears. Josh listened to the shy piano frozen, knowing damn well who was fiddling with the keys. He recognized the way the melody abruptly stopped as if the person playing suddenly got ashamed of his skill. After several minutes the music started playing again. The same melody but with a different tune. It got sadder and sadder with each pause.

The man quietly hurried up the stairs wondering if he ever gave Tyler a spare key. Knowing the boy he just snuck in on himself, crafted himself some lockpicks or something to unlock the door. The kid was smart. Sometimes.

Josh didn't want to interrupt the piano practice, no matter how much it hurt being in the same facility with Tyler the man stayed quiet. He had the urge to shoo Tyler away but he just couldn't open his mouth. The way the early city lights illuminated the figure sat in front of the piano was breathtaking. If Josh hadn't already, he would've fallen in love. All he could do now was fall even harder.

Headphones are mandatory for this

The way city lights illuminated the room, the way the colours seeped into the room through the open window was magical. Josh was hidden by the door, he hadn't even stepped into the main room yet. He just stood there, one foot still on top of the stairs, frozen. The man wished to open the door wider, to hear the song clearer but Josh knew that the door was loud and the moment he steps through that door Tyler is going to scurry away like a frightened mouse.

The rain poured even harder, Josh stood in the doorway watching the boy. The song stopped, Tyler stood up. His frightened gaze captured Josh's. There it was, the scared mouse, running away like always.

Josh didn't do or say anything when Tyler pushed past him. He just moved aside and let the love of his life walk away from him.