Nothing Can Hurt You More Than Falling In Love

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This is how I'm preparing for tomorrow's exam. Fuck my life am I right?

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"Charlie, I think I'm losing my shit," Tyler whispered to the girl as they were nearing the car "I can't do this."

"All of this was your idea, you dingus." the girl playfully shoved Tyler aside

The boy's coffee-coloured eyes darted around restlessly, they were almost at the car. Once he climbs in there's no turning back. He glimpsed at Charlie, a devilish glimmer in his eyes. The girl stopped dead in her tracks, Tyler extended his arm to grab her. She was ready to scream.

"Josh, can Charlie come too?" Tyler exclaimed

Josh turned around instantly and eyed them both down. Tyler slowly let go of the girl. He was dead. He knew it. The girl is going to rip him to bits as soon as Josh turns around.

"I suppose." Josh tipped his head to the side "What do you think, Charlie?"

"I don't think that it's a good idea." she shook her head frantically "You know, lots of paper, flammable things, you probably have a stove... You see where this is going?"

"Would you really set his home on fire?" Tyler tried guilt-tripping his friend into going with him "After all, he's your friend, don't you want to help your friend?"

"Tyler, I think she's right." Josh interfered "After all, she did set her own house on fire."

Tyler instantly closed his mouth, Charlie smiled warmly at Josh and waved him goodbye. She mouthed a soundless, remarkably theatrical 'I'll kill you' making sure that Tyler knew what she wanted to say. Even if Tyler couldn't read lips he realized what Charlie was gonna do to him because of her incredible facial expression and hand movement.

The girl hugged Tyler goodbye, she couldn't stay mad at the boy for long. The brunet made sure the hug lingered, he didn't want to be left alone because without Charlie there was no one to constrain his stupid mouth. The redhead finally freed herself out of Tyler's grasp and walked down the street. Tyler stood in the same place for a few moments, staring at her back, hoping that she would turn around. Well, he did this to himself. It was about time that he manned up and dealt with his difficulties like a mature adult... Which he was the opposite of.

The brunet approached the car without saying anything, he thought if he just kept his mouth shut he won't embarrass himself more. There was a strange glint in Josh's eyes. Almost like the man was afraid of something. Tyler rolled his eyes mentally, it was probably because of the red-soled snake that kept the man in a tight grasp all the time.

"Oh, how lovely." Tyler chirped in a girly voice when Josh opened the car door for him "Such a gentleman."

Josh cleared his throat nervously, an awkward chuckle emitted from his throat.

"It's uh- Actually, the door gets jammed sometimes..." the older man justified "So I just-just thought that... Okay."

Josh kept rambling about the door even when they were both in the car, he didn't stop murmuring on how he should fix it soon even when they got on the main road. Tyler sat on the passenger seat with a shit-eating grin and enjoyed it like it was a fine tune.

"You know, you don't have to explain yourself." Tyler finally cut off the man

"Ah-Uh I...Yea, sorry." the man's lips curled into an awkward smile "You're hungry?"

"Oh, God, always." Tyler pressed his palms together

"Do you want chinese?" Josh questioned with his eyes focused strictly on the road "We can get chinese, I don't have any snacks at home."

"If you get me food I will thank your mother every day for birthing you." Tyler pressed his palms against his face and nodded "Free food, heck yes."

Josh let out a short, genuine laugh. It was soft and melodious, gentle like his smile. Tyler's gaze caressed the man's shadowy features taking in every bit, memorizing it. The longer he stared the harder he found it to breathe. With each second his lungs heaved slower and slower till every ounce of the oxygen was sucked right out, leaving him suffocating, a soundless tornado ripping his insides.

Josh changed the radio station murmuring something about loathing country music. Tyler nodded in agreement, his eyes still on the man. He hated country music, Tyler smiled again, there was something starting to pool in the bottom of his stomach. The feeling was coiling there like a venomous snake, it's fangs dripping with liquid heroin that made Tyler's heart beat out of his chest. Fuck, he was so screwed.

Josh's eyes clouded with concern seeing how terrifyingly pale Tyler was. The brunet snapped out of his gaze, air rushed into his lungs when he felt the man's gentle caring hand grip his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" Josh leaned in to take a closer look at the boy

"Yes." Tyler rasped pushing the last bit of breath out of his lungs

No.

He was far from okay and the worst part was that he hasn't been since he walked through that heavy door and laid his eyes on the youth counsellor. Tyler was the opposite of okay. Butterflies in his stomach, that weird heavy feeling in his heart, that scratching from the inside, the gut-wrenching feeling twisting the brunet's insides every time he remembered that Josh has a girlfriend. A girlfriend. And he loved her, she didn't but he did. Josh loved her.

"You were starting to scare me," Josh raked his hand through his hair "You looked like you were in the middle of a stroke. Are you really fine now?"

"Yes."

No.

"I was really worried."

"I'm fine, really."

God damn it.

"Don't do that again, okay?" Josh joked and started the car again

Tyler flashed him a half-hearted smile and averted his eyes on the road. He had to look somewhere, anywhere that wasn't Josh's face but it was pointless since Tyler had already memorized every detail about Josh's face. Every miniature wrinkle, every speck of blemish, every freckle and Josh had a lot of them.

Tyler squinted his eyes and listened to the humming of the engine. The road was wet from the rain that poured earlier in the day, it hadn't dried yet. It glimmered like golden paint every time it slipped out of the shadows.

Tyler saw the starry glimmer in Josh's brown orbs every time the boy's eyelids lowered.

He knew that he'll never be the cause of that.

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