Ashtons’s POV-
“What do you mean dead?” Luke demanded, rising to his feet, knocking the lamp off the bedside table in the process, his face, if possible, even paler then Michael’s, “She’s fine, she’s okay, you’re lying!”
“Luke buddy.” Michael whispered.
“She’s fine.” Luke repeated, “She…. Oh… she’s okay, stop lying.”
“I’m sorry Luke.” Charlie’s Mom said gently.
“Why?” he asked, “What happened to her?”
“Luke……”
“Please, tell me.”
“It wasn’t you Luke, you were the only person she had, it wasn’t your fault.”
Knowing where this was going, I hung my head, letting my tears fall into my lap.
“Please just tell me.” Luke whimpered.
“She um….. she….. Luke I’m sorry she slit he….”
“No!” Luke interrupted, “She didn’t, she wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t do that on purpose, she wouldn’t leave me like that I need her! I need her…. i……I….”
“Luke,” Michael whispered, blinking back tears, as he carefully pried the phone from his fingertips.
“Why would she do that?” Luke sobbed sinking down to the floor and burying his face in his hands, “What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing, buddy, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Michael assured him, before taking the phone off of speaker and pressing it to his ear, “Thank you for letting us know Mrs. Yu, I’m so sorry.”
Hanging up, Michael tossed the phone on the bed, then stood looking down at Luke unsure of what to do.
“Why did I let her leave?” Luke sobbed, “I shouldn’t have let her leave I knew she was depressed, this is all my fault!”
“Luke don’t sat that.” Michael sniffed.
“It’s true!” Luke cried, “She called me and I knew something was wrong, and I just let her go.”
Breaking down completely, Luke completely lost it, going into what I could only describe it as, a full blown panic attack.
“Luke, come on, buddy it’ll be okay.” Michael said slowly, kneeling in front of him, “It’s not your fault you didn’t know just, breathe.”
“I…I c-c-can’tt!” Luke sobbed.
“Shit Luke, come on, calm down, before you make yourself pass out.” Michael said, starting to panic, “Um….. someone do something!”
I looked over at Calum, however finding him crying with his head in his hands, I dropped down next to Luke and rubbed his back in what I hoped was a calming way.
“W-w-why….why why’d s-she l-l-leave me Ashton?”
“I don’t know Luke,” I admitted, “But it’s going to be okay….”
“No it’s not!” Luke yelled, rising to his feet and chucking his phone at the wall where the screen shattered, “I loved her and she’s gone! She was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and I know that sounds stupid because we’re just kids but I knew! And I needed her, I still do and she needed me and I let her down and now she’s fucking dead!”
Stunned I watched as Luke chucked Michael’s xbox controller at the wall.
“She’s dead!” he repeated, “What if she was going to have kids, or be the person that cured cancer, or live to by the oldest person ever? No one will ever know now because she’s gone!”
Picking up a plate room service had not yet cleaned up, he threw it on the ground where it shattered.
“What a bitch! Like did she not know how much I needed her! Fucking hell, like, could she not worry about herself for two damn seconds! I….I…..I uh…….why didn’t I stop her?”
Plopping down on the ground in the middle of the room Luke rocked back and forth crying into his hands.
“Luke?” I asked tentatively, starting towards him.
“Just leave me alone.” He snapped.
“What?” Michael asked.
“Get out!” Luke yelled, “I just….. I want to be alone.”
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea.” I mumbled.
“Please!” he sobbed, “I just want to think.”
I hesitated however nodded slowly, pulling Calum to his feet and leading him out of the room with Michael and Destiny following behind me.
I went back to check on Luke every half hour, and found him seated in the exact same spot on the floor, staring out the window, his sniffing, the only sound in the room, however sometime around Midnight, I found him moved to the window seat, guitar in hand, strumming it absentmindedly, as he sang quietly to himself.
“If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just some twisted dream. I’d hold you closer than I ever did before, and you’d never slip away….”
Stopping, he let out the most broken, child like sound I had ever heard anyone make, before slowly strumming again and mumbling,
“I’m not fine at all, no I’m really not fine at all.”
I'm sobbing like a baby.
Do you hate me?
Thank you for reading xx
<3
Part Forty-Three
Start from the beginning
