Chapter 20

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  • Dedicated to My big sister Sam
                                    

The song for this chapter is "Misery Loves My Company" by Three Days Grace.

This chapter is dedicated to my sister Sam! Who saw my book cover and memorized the title so she could read my story, sneaky huh? You're a determined stalker Sam and I love you to bits! <3

Enjoy!

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* Nathaniel Ryder *

For the first time in weeks when I woke up, I didn't yank the covers over my head and hide, it was no longer necessary. Instead of begging the Moon Goddess to release me from Jamie's emotions as I had previously been doing I tugged her naked body closer until every groove of her being touched mine. I sniffed deeply taking in her intoxicating strawberry scent which made my mind shoot back to the first time I really appreciated her unique smell. It was the night I marked her after we left the club and I was sneaking her off to my room. I should have known right there that the relationship between us would be a lot stronger then I had originally imagined.

I laid still with her in my arms unable to control the smile that had been stretched on my lips long enough to make my cheeks ache, this is how I wanted to start my day every morning. Who would have thought the simplicity of just holding someone could change a person? I never expected to even like Jamie let alone be completely and madly in love with her.

I pulled her even closer into me tossing my leg over her in the process, just wanting to keep her close enough so she couldn't ever leave. She began to stir slightly as her limbs stretched out and she awoke. "Good morning sleepy head" I murmured leaning down and kissing her shoulder blade softly.

She flipped around in my arms giving me a full view of her face. Her lips were stretched to the max showing off her pearly whites as her sapphire pools went glossy and I knew her mind was going over the memories of last night. "Good morning" she purred wrapping her petite arms around my large chest barely being able to fully reach around me as she hugged me tightly as if she was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her when I woke up. I wound my arms around the small of her back letting them cross over one another forming an X as I squeezed her in return.

"Jamie" I spoke as I cleared my throat causing her to lift her head from my chest, her bright orbs were wide as she awaited my words. "Do you still feel Carter?" I asked not able to look at her as I did so, fearing her answer.

"No" she answered after a moment, a slightly sad tone to her voice almost as though she was disappointed- maybe even heartbroken though I only felt relief. "His emotion got stronger and stronger and then they were gone" she explained making me wonder what he felt like when we began to deepen our kissing and eventually started making love.

I know every time I felt them kiss or even cuddle I wanted to rip my own hair out. My wolf would beg me to make it stop, to get her back, or even to end him so the pain would be over. I could only imagine the absolute devastation he must have went through last night but, I couldn't even lie and say I felt sorry for him. Sure it sucked but he caused this, all of this.

I turned back to Jamie watching as she tried desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. Why was she sad? She wanted to be free of Carter- well she wanted him to be free but it's pretty much the same thing. " I don't understand why you're upset" I stated sounding almost angry though I wasn't.

"I just... I guess I figured your emotions would just grow for me and take his place"

"But" I murmured flatly to get her to continue knowing that there was more to come

"I just feel empty without him" she whispered honestly and desperately as the grief dominated her both inside and outside. She looked away from me causing two small tears to roll down her cheeks. At this point, I felt crushed like I wasn't enough for her like I couldn't satisfy her deepest desires. Marking her had proved to make me her mate yet we didn't have that same connection true mates would have and I don't think we ever will.

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