The New Girl

Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Homecoming Nightmare

...

I couldnt sleep.

The night before a huge game, the night before my last homecoming...and I couldn't sleep.

   I can never speak to Ethan again, even if it kills me! He is...a drug dealer? I can't say for sure, maybe he's the one on drugs! All I know is, he ditched me in the middle of the night to meet up with some dude in an alley.

  Hey, in a way its refreshing. He knew I'd be safe, because HE was the one I should stay away from.

  The crazy thing is, he never texted to make sure I was okay, he never told me goodbye, I could be dead right now and it probably would be one of his friends that killed me!

  Im so disgusted. I gave him the benefit of the doubt when all my friends told me he was dangerous. I didn't believe them. I saw something in him that I saw at my old school in the 'nerds' they were just people defined by other people.

    "Are you okay?" Sarah asks, peeking her head through the bathroom door.

  "Why did you ask that, and why didnt you knock?"
I ask, annoyed.

  "I did knock, several times. Thats why I asked if you were okay." She defends herself.

   "I must have zoned out, I'm fine." I say and roll back around to stare at my wall. Sarah sighs and I hear the door close. I thought she walked out so I let out my tears.

But suddenly I felt weight push on my bed.

   "You're not okay." She says placing her hand on my shoulder.

  "You know....people are pretty shitty." I say and Sarah gasps.

I rarely ever curse and right now, Im in the cursing mood. I don't think its necessary to curse unless you're using it as a way to blow off steam. Some people just curse because they dont challenge their minds enough to think of the right vocabulary.

  "Who hurt you?" She asks, getting defensive.

   "Myself Sarah, I hurt myself." I say and let a tear fall again.

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It was a slow day, I was only in my third class and I had no interest in attending it. I stood for a moment at my locker because I had a strong feeling that Ethan would be there and I know I shouldn't talk to him, but I need answers.

    "Hey." I hear as I snap out of my daze. I look to my right and there he is. My breathe gets caught in my throat and I dont have anything to say anymore. My mind just blanks out.

...I was....scared of him.

Silently, I take a step away, but keep my eye contact.

He has a confused look on his face, almost hurt.

But Im sure my face looks way more hurt. Im surprised Im not crying.

   "Whats wrong?" He asks. Sounding like he cares and what hurts the most is not knowing if he does or not.

   I still say nothing. I can't.... It just won't come out.

   "Sammy..." He says taking a step forward and I take a step back.

  "Don't.... call me that!" I finally say. I didnt think that words would leave my mouth, let alone sound so strong and angry.

   "Woah! What is up with you?" He asks looking around and back at me. He looks nervous.

   "What's up with me? What's up with you?! You're the one who completely ditched me last night, in the cold, in the dark, hungry, tired, and alone! Only to find you somewhere in an alley! With a creepy dude and a 'hand shake'." I snap, putting air quotes around the phrase hand shake, and whisper/ yelling the alley part.  He freezes.

   "Wait....did you follow me?" He asks.

  "No! I didn't follow you, you asshole! I was too busy crying because you ditched me! Then I got hungry and walked to the store and saw you. An alley? How shady is that? Seriously, drug dealers really need to find a new spot! Everybody knows your hiding spaces!" I spaze out and he flinches back.

   "Your? I'm not a drug dealer!" He yells and everyone who was there, speed walks away. Besides my friends, everyone was still super scared of Ethan and his friends.

   "Then what the hell were you doing in an alley?" I ask. He sighs and shakes his head.

   "Look, Im sorry I ditched you. I should have just dropped you off but I was running on somebody elses time and I cant explain to you why, you'll just have to trust me." He says softly almost pleading with me.

   "....No." I shake my head and try to walk away but he grabs me.

   "Please, dont walk away...I really just dont feel comfortable with telling you why I was there." He says and it hurts.

I turn around with my eyes glossy.

    "You dont trust me? And how could I trust you if you cant return it?" I ask. He sighs again, but suddenly his face gets solid. His eyes turn cold. And he drops his hand from my arm.

  " I guess we're just done then." He says with no emotion and walks away.

I.... dont know what just happened, but I think I just lost one of my best friends and 30 minutes of class.

I slide down my locker and burry my face in my knees. Before I know it, the bell rings.

   Which means, lunch, then practice. School was let out early today for homecoming game and dance. The game starts at 4 and dance starts at 8, if I weren't a cheerleader and I didnt already get threatend by Gabbie, Michelle, Sarah, Faith, Emily, George, and.... well you get who Im talking about---- to go to homecoming, I wouldn't be going.

I sigh as I walk to the lunch room. Im really trying not to be in my feelings right now. Im really trying not to regret my actions because Im not a bad person. Im really nice to people, and calling him an asshole really made my stomach twist. I know hes a tough guy and it probably didnt hurt his feelings, but it hurt mine.

  I decided not to tell anyone, but Gabbie about what happened because I dont need a bunch of I told you so's, I just need my best friend right now.

   All the ship names and jokes about him and I dating will go on like normal and Ill just ignore them and eventually they'll realize on their own that Ethan and I arent hanging out anymore.

  I stand at Gabbie's locker waiting for her to come finally she does. She smiles at me when she sees me and opens her arms for a hug. I hug her willingly and basically break down in her arms. I felt her freeze up but she didn't say anything, she just hugged me tighter and rubbed my back. I sigh as I stand there, not caring who sees me.

   I was broken for no reason and I had to just accept the fact that I had lost a great friend.

 

I used to think he was the realest person Ive ever met, but now I know he was just a really good liar.

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