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     My eyes flickered open and close as everything in my body began to shut down. Soon I was weightless and all the pain that once traveled throughout my body vanished. In the distance I began to notice a beam of light slowly appearing. I wanted to run to it, but I couldn't move. It was as if my legs no longer held a function.

     Almost instantly the whole room was filled with that light and I was raised to my feet. I rubbed my once full stomach to realize I was no longer pregnant and the dress that I had worn to my baby shower was restored to its initial beauty. Beautiful white clouds formed around me as I heard laughter ahead of me. Squinting, I was able to see a man and a woman with their back facing me talking. I traveled in their direction placing my hand on the man's shoulder.

"Daddy?" I questioned as I recognized the boisterous chuckle of my father. Slowly they both turned around and I was greeted by the signature smile of Sevyn Santino. "Daddy!" I yelled as I held him close to me. He too was dressed in the all-white Versace suit he wore to my baby shower. I cried in his arms as he stroked my hair.

We pulled apart and he kissed my forehead. "Don't cry, Princess. Everything is okay," my father cooed in an attempt to hush me. He gently brushed his thumb under my eye to wipe away access tears and ruined mascara.

"Who is this woman?" I inquired as I stared at the lady to left.

     She was beautiful with skin one shade lighter than my own, long brown hair that was curled slightly at the ends, and hazel doe shaped eyes. She wore a white maxi dress and white Christian Louboutin pumps. Following my question, she perched her thick lips that were graced with matte red lipstick and gave my father a stern look.

"Sevyn,"she said softly as a hurt expression displayed on her face, "tell her who I am."

My dad took a deep breath before looking me in my eyes. "Harlem this is Rosa Marie Saldana, your mother."

"My mother?" I mumbled to myself nearly questioning her existence.

     I stared at her once more and immediately realized where I had gotten my Puerto Rican assets. Suddenly my mouth was dry and I was unable to speak. All my life my mom was rarely spoken of, so to have her standing in front of me now was unimaginable. So many emotions filled me as questions I wanted to ask her sped through my brain a mile per minute. There was so much I wanted to ask her; so many emotions I wanted to feel towards her, but I was hopelessly deadlocked.

"Harlem," Rosa called out as she pulled me into her arms. "Are you okay, my love?"

"Mommy, why? Why did you abandon me? Did you not want me?" I began to question. "Did you not love me? Why is it that after eighteen motherless years you're popping up in my life? You weren't there to see me take my first steps, my first day of kindergarten, boy problems, cheer competitions, prom, high school graduation, hell even my first fist fight! Where were you?! Why did you abandon me?!"I sobbed uncontrollably on her chest. I tried my hardest to push her away, but she still firmly held me close to her.

Much unlike me, she was very calm as she whispered inaudible words in my ear attempting to simmer me down as if I was an infant or small child. "I would have loved to be there for all of that, but god had other plans for me. I've had the luxury of watching you grow from up here."

Confused, I stared at my father waiting for him to chime in. What she mean by watching me from up here? Where the fuck we at? "Harlem, Rosa died during childbirth. She died giving birth to you."

     My heart shrunk as I instantly felt bad for my previous outburst. All my life I lived by the assumption that my mom was a deadbeat; that she didn't want me. How baffling it was to find out she sacrificed her own life for mine was unexplainable.

I stared at my parents as their mouths' moved. I was confused to say the least. "Wait, so... If you died having me and I'm here with you, does that mean I'm dead now?"

"Of course not, sweetheart. This is all a dream," my mom smiled. "I just wanted us all to be together one last time."

     Still confused, but happy to be in the presence of both of my parents, I decided to let her comment go unresponded to. For what seemed like years, my mom, dad, and I talked and reminisced about all the things that have happened since before I was born until now. I couldn't help but look at my parents and smile. The look in their eyes spelled love. A love that I can only pray to have one day. I had never seen my dad look at any woman the way that he looked at my mom.

"I know you're going to be a good mommy, Harlem. Whenever you get an opportunity remember to thank God for second chances," my mom mumbled into my hair then kissed my forehead. "I hate to cut our time together short, but people are starting to worry and you need to wake up princess."

Both of my parents pulled me into a warm embrace as tears dripped from our eyes. "Come on, Daddy, let's wake up." I uttered while holding his hand.

An uneasy look appeared on his face before he smiled. "Tell Rakim he better look out for you while I'm away or that's his ass," my Dad grinned as fresh tears formed in his eyes. "Also tell him he'll get the miracle he's always wanted. When he gets it, it'll catch him by surprise, but he should love it nonetheless."

I nodded with a smile as my father and I walked away hand in hand.

"Oh and Harlem," my mom interjected. "Y'hana is truly a wonderful woman. I know you both have had your differences in the past, but she really does love you. Of course she's no me," my mom joked as she flipped her hair, "but she her care for you in genuine. Let her help you. Let her be there for you during this tough time."

    I laughed at her playfulness. I then realized where the other half of my personality came from. I was much like my mommy in so many ways.

"Okay," I managed to finally breathe out. "When will I see you again?" I turned to my mom and asked.

"We're always here with you Harlem," my mom smiled and pointed to my heart. "We'll be watching over for you from up here, too, my love." My mother kissed my forehead and hugged me tight into her arms.

"Do me a favor and wake up now, Princess. Wake up," my dad chanted.

*

     Soon my dad's voice became faint as my eyes softly fluttered open to see Rakim crying his eyes out on my chest. Slowly I rose my hand to his face and cupped it.

"Rakim, you're alive. The gunshots didn't kill you. You're alive." I smiled as I wiped his tears all while releasing a few of my own.

"Yes baby, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere...ever." Rakim kissed my face and rubbed my belly as it continued to carry my precious seed. He looked into my eyes and blinked away a few tears that threatened to fall. "Sevyn though... He didn't make it," Rakim whispered.

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Rosa in the MM >

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