Welcome to the Wild$ide [A$AP Rocky Story]

o25.

     Things are slowly picking up for me. I got a letter from my Dad two weeks ago apologizing for how he reacted upon finding out that I was pregnant and congratulating me on my little Jumpy. It was a start I guess. I was able to go and visit him a couple days ago. He's doing much better, but still feels he's too young looking to be a grandpa. My daddy, my daddy.

     Rakim and I are better as of now, because for a little while after the miscarriage he kind of shut down. It's understandable, but at the end of the day even when one life stop, other lives continue to go on. I honestly do feel sorry for Trisha, and I don't mean to sound insensitive, but let's be real—there are just somethings you can't do while you're pregnant and smoking is one. Rakim is extra hard on me now too. Everything I do and eat is monitored to insure that I won't harm the baby. Even though it gets irritating, I listen to everything he says, because I know he has my best interest at heart.

"What about Kayden?" Andrea called out from her laptop. We were sitting on the couch throwing out possible names for the baby, as we have been doing for the past few days. It's crazy knowing that in a matter of months I'm going to be responsible for someone's life other than my own.

"I like Kayden, but it's too common these days. I want something unique, like my name," I replied in between stuffing my face with chips and queso. I swear Jumpy has me eating like a 600 pound man. Time was winding down and I can't wait to meet my little guy.

"Nah, name my lil nigga Goldie or Flacko," Rakim stated as he walked into the living room from the bathroom. I placed my snack on the end table and gave him a long hard stare. "What fatty? Stop looking at me like that. Shit you said something unique," he shrugged and laughed, then planted himself on the couch next to me and laid his head in my lap.

     Nearly two weeks have passed since Trisha's miscarriage, and as much as he tries to act strong, I know he's still hurting, but he buries himself in weed and alcohol to mask the pain. I try my best to keep his spirits up, but I often catch him gazing off into space, and I know it's his baby girl that's on his mind. It's hard knowing that he is in so much pain emotionally, and there's really nothing I can do about it.

Andrea and I looked at him and died laughing. "Come on now Rakim. We naming a baby; not no damn dog or bird," I replied, still laughing.

     Rakim rose his head up from my lap and pulled me into his. He kissed my neck gently and wrapped his arms around my stomach. "Whatever, they hatin' on us real niggas Jumpy," he chuckled. "What about the baby shower though?"

"What you mean? What about it?" Trisha questioned.

"Like y'all planned it out? Picked a date? Anything?"

"Well I was going to have it in Decem—"

"Nah, have it in October. October 3rd if you want me to come clean," Rakim cut me off.

"Your birthday?" I mumbled, surprised. Traditionally men don't usually even come to baby showers, but if my man wants to do this, then I'm all for it.

"Yeah and I know niggas don't usually come to baby showers, but I will be present so reserve a plate for me." He kissed my cheek and smiled a smile as bright as the morning sun. How could I possibly say no to it? "So what you think?"

"Your birthday?" I mumbled again.

"Yeah. I mean I can't celebrate it the way I planned, because you pregnant, so why not spend it with the love of my life and family?"

     Tears streaked my eyes as my heart grew three sizes. It amazes me how he can say the simplest things and still make me feel special. I turned around, so that I was now straddling him on the couch. "October is kind of early for a baby shower, considering I ain't due until January, but baby if that's what you want then I will make it happen."