Welcome to the Wild$ide [A$AP Rocky Story]

o11.

     I had been living with Y'hana and my two half siblings for almost a month after my father and I's conversation. This day in particular, Y'hana had left for work and asked me to keep an eye on Hayleigh, because she had been sick in bed for the past few days. I didn't mind babysitting Hayleigh and enjoyed playing the big sister role. We were an inseparable force and got along so well.

     After I prepared Sj, Hayleigh, and I a breakfast that consisted of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and grits, Sj went out with his friends to the apartment complex's basketball court. He loved basketball and desired to go to the pros one day. Constantly and consistently, he practiced and kept his body in shape for the sport. I admired his ambition and passion at such a young age.

     After cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, I channel surfed hoping to find something good on TV. Since Hayleigh was sick and Sj was gone, I had no one to keep me company. Because my Dad felt like there was some fishy business involved with his arrest, I was ordered to discontinue conversation with all of my friends and The Mob. I was obedient to his request, but left me sad and lonely. I had no one my own age to hang around. Suddenly, I felt Hayleigh pounce into my lap.

"Watsup Hayleigh-gator," I said kissing her cheek and utilizing the nicknames we made up for each other, mines was Harley-dile.

"Oh nothing, just bored," she said playfully slapping her forehead. "I feel much better now, Harlem, can we go swimming?"

"Hmm, let's check that temperature."

     After seeing that Hayleigh had a normal temperature, I figured that she was probably feeling better and took her up on her offer to go to the pool. We packed our swimsuits and headed the children's water park across town. When we got there, I got her dressed and watched her interact with other children from the sideline. Hayleigh seemed to be enjoying herself, until she walked up to me looking pale.

"Harlem, I don't feel well. We need to go," she stated weakly. I got worried. I didn't know what to do in a situation such as this one. I put her in some dry clothes and took her to the car. I had left my phone in the car to charge, but noticed Y'hana had called several times. This cannot be good, I thought to myself driving home.

     When I walked in the door holding a sleeping Hayleigh in my arms, Y'hana wasted no time grabbing her from my arms. She took Hayleigh to her room and came back to charge directly at me.

"What the hell were you thinking taking my baby to a damn water park, knowing she was sick?" Y'hana yelled in rage.

"Well Hayleigh told me she felt better, and-"

"And you believed the word of a five year old?! You know, I knew you were selfish and self-centered, but I never knew you were stupid too!"

     Wait—did this bitch just call me stupid? Breathe Harlem, breathe. "Look Y'hana, I know I messed up taking Hayleigh to the water park. That was my fault. If anything I was naive, not stupid. I may be selfish and self-centered, frankly I don't give a fuck either, but I'm loyal to the people that I love and I would never hurt Hayleigh nor Sj."

"What the fuck ever," she stated moving closer to me. "You just gone have to get over the fact that you ain't Daddy's Little Girl anymore. That title is being occupied by someone else, so stop with the jealousy!"

"Jealousy?" I had tried to maintain my composure, but she was pushing all the wrong buttons. "Me? Jealous? Of a five year old? Are you off your fucking nut? I'm a grown ass woman who has been pampered all my life, only having the finer things. The fuck she got for me to be jealous of?"

She got much closer to me, until we were almost nose to nose. "Yeah you jealous," she said calmly. "Jealous that my kids have something that no amount of money ever can buy; a mother."

     A mother. Her voice and those words played rapidly in my head. At this point I was hurt and livid. She had no right to bring the absence of my mother into this argument. Sure it would be nice to have my mother around, but I would never harm someone because theirs was.

     I turned to walk away, but beyond my control, I turned back around a punched Y'hana smooth into her jaw. She reacted by pushing me onto the sofa and trying to jump on top of me but I was too quick. I gave her a swift kick to the stomach, causing her to fall on and shatter a glass table. I hurried off the sofa and dove on top of her, constantly punching her in the face, releasing my rage with my fist. She dug her nails into my flawless face, leaving two bloody scars above my left cheek. I reacted by banging her head into the glass table.

     In the mist of my violent rapture, I was snapped back to consciousness when I heard a small, weak voice calling my name.

"Harley-dile, nooo!" Hayleigh yelled weakly. "Please let my Mommy go. I'm sorry I got you in trouble!"

     I instantly felt terrible. What was I doing? This is not the Harlem I carried myself as. I was totally out of character. I rushed up to Hayleigh, hugged her tightly, and then released her.

"Get the hell away from my child, bitch!" Y'hana yelled, getting off the floor.

     I overlooked her words and went straight to the room to get my things. I grabbed my two suitcases and purse, checking to make sure all the contents were still in place.

"Harlem you don't have to go!" Hayleigh cried grasping my leg. "I'm sorry I got you in trouble."

I kneeled down to her. "It's ok girlfrann, it isn't your fault." I said playfully, choking back tears as they rolled down Hayleigh's face. "I have to leave for a little while, but I'll be back. See you later Hayleigh-gator" I said caressing her cheek.

"In a while Harley-dile," she said smiling and hugging me tightly.

I released myself from her arms, scribbling my phone number down on a piece of paper. "Tell Sj I love him and I'll see you guys soon." I handed her the paper. "Call me sometimes."

"I will call you every day. I love you Harlem!" she yelled through tears as I exited the room, then the apartment.

     I sat in my car and cried my eyes out. I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. Everything in my world was tumbling down piece by piece. Fed up with beating myself up, I crank up my car and backed out of the parking lot. Once I reached the freeway, I sped in the direction of a place where everything was once perfect. I was going back to my brownstone.