My Love, My Saviour, My Student •Shawn Mendes

23.

Faye Dawson
The first week without Thomas was the hardest. I didn't do anything. I went to school did my classes, came home, ate, went to bed. That's all I did. I didn't want to talk to anyone because I missed him so much. It was just harder than I thought without him around. We talked every night without fail but it wasn't the same without him here.
It was the Sunday after Thomas had left when he rung me quite late in the evening.
"Hey I forgot to ask. Did you ever get that box from under my bed?" He asked and I swore under my breath. I had completely forgotten. I heard him laugh over the phone as I threw on a jacket and ran to his house.
"Ok I'm in your house. It's so empty" I said and he sighed.
"I know. You'll have to come over here Faye the house and surroundings are beautiful"
"Well as soon as I leave school I will" I told him going up the stairs into his room. "Is it the wooden one?"
"Yep" he said and I pulled it out from under the bed. I held it carefully in my arms as I locked his house and went back into my own room.
"Ok" I said placing the box down and putting him on speaker.

As I opened the box to see what was inside I gasped. Memories. Every photo we had together lie in the box along with one of Thomas' jumpers and a tshirt.
"Oh my god" I said and heard him laugh.
"I have the exact same box with the exact same pictures in them. I thought you would want it" he said and I nodded even though he couldn't see me.
"Oh Thomas this is amazing I love it thank you" I gushed over the memories looking at several of the photos.
"You're welcome. I've gotta go Mums calling. I love you Dawson" he said and I smiled.
"I love you Tommy"
"Oh and Dawson. Please go and make new friends for yourself. Don't just be alone all day" he said and I smiled.
"I'll try" I told him before we said our goodbyes and hung up the phone.

I sat for a good few hours looking through the photos and remembering each one being taken. So when the doorbell rang it scared me out of my skin.
Cautiously I made my way downstairs. Mum wasn't home until tomorrow and I have no other friends.
I slowly opened the door to reveal the Canadian I hadn't spoken to in months on end.
"Shawn"
"Can I come in?" He asked and I nodded opening the door further. He went straight to the sofa and sat down.
"Can I help you with something?" I said wanting to be alone.
"You've not been right this past week. You've been down. Different." He told me and I rolled my eyes.
"Well it's not every day your best friend leaves for America and isn't coming back for two months" I sighed sitting next to him.
"Can I help you at all?" Shawn offered and I sighed again.
"I don't know Shawn we're not as we were it might be awkward now" i shrugged.
"Please Faye just let me back into your life. We can work up to what we wanted to be again. Just try" he said and I rubbed my forehead in thought.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what I wanted. I missed Thomas but I knew I had to move on. We weren't dating anymore we agreed that and I knew he would want me to just get on with it whilst he was in America. And Shawn was so lovely and handsome and made me feel good. It was a risk to be with him. But I was willing to take that risk again and build it up with him.
"I'll try Shawn. But I can't rush it. I still do miss Thomas" I warned and his eyes lit up a little.
"Of course. I just want to be in your life. I want to be a part of you" he said stroking my cheek.

I looked into his eyes and I felt drawn to him. Those big brown eyes were enchanting. I said I didn't want to rush in, and I did miss Thomas with everything I had. But I wanted Shawn. I really wanted him. It took all I had within me to turn away from those eyes.
"Do you want to stay for dinner? It's quite late and I have enough pizza to satisfy a whole army" I joked causing Shawn to smile.
"That would be lovely" he smiled and I nodded going and taking the pizza from the fridge, unpacking it and putting it in the oven.
We both stood awkwardly waiting for the pizza to be ready.
"So, what happened with Hailey?" I asked him and he seemed almost embarrassed.
"I told her I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't pretend I felt something for her when all along, it was you. I didn't need to talk to you or kiss you to know that I wanted you" he told me and I was taken back by his words.
"Shawn,"
"No it's true. Every day I saw you in school or in the window of your house and every time I saw you I wanted to just grab you and tell you I wanted you. Kiss you." He continued.
"Shawn."
"But I knew I couldn't because I could see you were so happy with Thomas I didn't want to make your mind all fucked up."
"Shawn,"
"And all I ask is you-" I pulled his tshirt to me and pressed my lips to his. I reached up and held the back of his head as we kissed. I pulled away shocked at myself and I could see he was shocked too.

"If you'd stop talking then I wouldn't of had to do that" I said taking the pizzas out of the oven.
As I stood up and turned round Shawn was right there infront of me.
He took my hips and backed me into the edge of the counter. "I never said I didn't want you to do that" he said seductively gripping my hips. He leaned down and put his forehead against mine.
"Let's eat" I said ducking under his arm and taking the board of Pizza onto the table. I couldn't do it. Not yet. He had to work for it. We had to build it back up. I couldn't give in that easily even if I wanted to.