✩☠ Distorted Memories | Miz Cracker X Aquaria | AU ☠✩

I'm Not Coming

Warning: mild descriptions of violence

Aquaria

Another night full of nightmares. Often people say their nightmares are them falling or perhaps being chased by a killer; mine aren't like that, mine include me beating my own mother to death, over and over with the same scissors, the same blood and the same atmosphere--I can't take it anymore. I refuse to sleep if it's all I'm gonna see. I try and talk to my therapist about it but nothing helps me, I always see her face--mutilated.

The silence was driving me to insanity, well, more insane than I am now. I want to sleep with Cracker but her mother just worries too much, thinking I would hurt her if I ever had a night terror. I pulled the sheets closer to my shoulders and sighed, keeping my eyes open. 

---

The morning came, and I must have actually fallen asleep for once without seeing horror behind my eyes. I yawned and turned, facing the cushions. I heard laughing from up the stairs and it was obvious it was Cracker and Bob probably having fun. Mother and daughter time.

Mother

I felt my breathing hitch and tears sting my eyes.

What was wrong with me, everything was supposed to be okay now, I am living with the love of my life and somehow I still feel all the torture from when I was back at my house. It was like something is still holding onto me and I don't know what, it's like it won't let go.

"AQUA!" I heard Cracker's screaming from up the stairs. I groaned and covered my ears, not wanting to move or even talk. "Aquaria! Are you coming?"

"No," I muttered, hearing her sigh sadly.

"Please! It's Monet's funeral!" 

I felt my heart sink.

"I can't! I don't want to be reminded of what my mother did!" I tore off my blanket and threw it to the floor in fury. "I can't do this anymore! Everything hurts!" I screamed into my hands and heard Bob storm down the stairs.

"Aquaria-"

"Mom, can we please allow Aquaria to stay?" I heard Cracker ask with a sweet gentle tone. I didn't hear or see her mother's reaction, but I assumed she agreed. "Aquaria, you can stay." 

I looked up and forced a smile of relief.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a mess." I sniffled and wiped my eyes. 

"It's okay darling, you need some rest." Her mother said with a smile. She walked over to me and bent down, giving me a bright smile. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I whispered, lying back down. I heard keys rattling and the door open, a slight draft making me feel cold, even though it was hot outside, nothing seemed to make me feel warmth anymore. I didn't expect Cracker and I to be hanging out anytime soon, she's probably scared of me. Her mother is for sure.

"Aqua!" I heard Cracker giggle and I saw her right in front of me, kneeling down to become level with my face. "I love you," She giggled and placed her finger on my cheek, making me smirk.

"I love you more, baby girl." I yawned and cupped her chin, kissing her quickly. She pulled me closer and sustained our contact, pressing her face into mine as hard as possible. She pulled away and frowned.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"You won't be too long," I smiled, caressing her arm.

"It will feel like forever." She muttered, her tongue poking out the side of her mouth.

"No, it won't." I leaned down and kissed her head. She giggled. 

"Cracker! Come on!" Her mother said strictly, making my anger and frustration intensify; I wanted Cracker to stay here with me, I don't want to be alone, nor do I want to go out. Miz let go of me and stood up, smiling at me as she walked over to her mother, hugging her tightly. Bob took Cracker's pink fluffy coat from the hanger, putting it on her. Like a mother would.

I sighed shakily and covered my face, curling into a ball. I heard the door slam shut and I was drowned in silence again. I still tasted her on my lips, I savoured every moment, and I will never grow tired of her love towards me. 

I decided to do something to try and take my mind off things--perhaps draw? Or do some sowing?

No

I thought about listening to music instead, which always calmed me down in these situations.

You have never been in this situation before

I stood up and stumbled up the stairs, holding onto the bannister with all my strength. I went into Cracker's room, pushing the door open and inhaling the smell of perfume and cake. I smiled and fell onto her bed, falling into a state of bliss and absolute peace. I pulled her blankets closer, wrapping myself in them. I grinned and shuffled close to her pillow, nestling my nose into it--I could feel all of her stained in the fabrics. My head turned to see her radio, I leaned over and struggled to turn it on, but I did it, and the tune that played was one I never heard but it was calming and suited the atmosphere of her room. I closed my eyes and everything seemed so soft, so peaceful. The colours blending and blurring as my eyes opened slightly, before everything faded to black once more.