Still Dawn: The Saga Continues

chapter 8, the talk (RPOV)

CHAPTER 8: THE TALK (Renesmee's POV)

As I walked through the door with grandpa Charlie and Grandpa Carlisle I worried about what my parents were talking about outside, I hoped Mom wasn't telling dad about our silent conversation in the car, I just wasn't ready to deal with Dad's wrath of fury just yet, I was too worried about Jacob and Billy.  

"Wow, Nessie, You've gotten so big, again!" Charlie exclaimed, it had been almost 10 months since I'd last seen grandpa Charlie, so I figured I would look a lot bigger to him by now, I'd aged by about 3 years!  

"You know me Grandpa!" I smiled, "Hopefully this is about it for me now though" I muttered  

"Yes" intercepted Grandpa Carlisle "Renesmee's growth has slowed to a usual rate now, so you shouldn't be seeing any radical change's from now on"  

"Well, I'm pleased to hear it Ness, I don't like the thought of you growing up so quick, its ..." he paused "unnatural" I forced myself to stifle a laugh and could see Charlie's brain working overdrive trying to figure out some kind of rational explanation for what we were, Grandpa Charlie had known for some time now that things were different about us, after Jacob phased in front of him when I was a bay. But it always been on a need to know basis, and Charlie, didn't need to know. Mom had made it perfectly clear she wouldn't endanger him like that.

Thinking about that made me think of Jake again, I could hear Carlisle and Charlie talking about Billy, but I was too absorbed in my thoughts to pay any attention. What did my Mom mean when she said I'd be surprised? I replayed the conversation over and over in my head but still couldn't make any sense of it. I loved Jake, that much I knew, but could I allow myself to be with him, knowing that one day he may imprint on someone, and then I'd loose him forever. I thought about Leah, one of Jakes pack, (and my almost-step-aunt) even I could see the hurt she was still suffering from loosing Sam to Emily. Was I strong enough to cope with that type of rejection? And this could all be irrelevant anyway, if I told Jake the truth, he might be so disgusted that I'd loose his friendship altogether. We'd always been best friends, who was I to change that? I thought back to the dream I'd had last night, me and Jake, alone in the wood's together, he told me he loved, he told me that we'd always be together, that nothing could tear us apart. But that wasn't true was it? Imprints were involuntary, he'd have no choice but to be with her, who ever she was.

The front door swung open and my Mom and Dad walked into the living room, Dad looked remarkably sad, I wondered to myself what could have made him feel that way. Dad looked at me and raised 1 eyebrow, answering my silent question. Ah crap! You heard all that didn't you? I asked in my head, he nodded slightly in response. You'd think that after an entire lifetime of having your own dad read every thought you had, you'd get used to being careful with your thoughts, but I never did.

 Dad, I'm sorry, I can't help how I feel, please don't kill him dad. It's not his fault, this is me, it's all me. Jake's done nothing wrong. Blame me, I know it's wrong. I'm sorry I just ... Dad held his hand up towards me stopping my silent pleading. He threw me a weak smile before whispering in my ear "You don't have to apologise, we'll talk in a bit" I noticed my Mom throwing him warning glances as she sat on the sofa opposite Grandpa Charlie. She did tell dad then? I wondered. My dad shook his head slightly and took his seat next to Mom.

"So Dad, How's Sue these days?" Mom asked Charlie  

"Yeah, she's, um . . . she's great" Charlie blushed with his answer, his relationship with Sue had come on in leaps and bounds in the last few years, I didn't know Grandpa before he had met Sue, but Mom had once told me that he was an awful cook and couldn't really look after himself well, so we were all glad that they had found each other. "She's down at Billy's at the moment, but she'll be home soon" he stated, looking rather embarrassed still.