You Can't Beat Me. ~A Vampire Dairies And Teen Wolf Crossover Lovestory~

73. Ms. Morrell's talk to Stiles

After Stiles and I ate with his dad we went back upstairs and I took my phone out of my pocket and I dialed Scott... No reaction, but I think he has enough problems with his mom.

"Who are you calling?" I put my phone down

"Scott, but he doesn't pick up." I sighed and sat on the bed next to Stiles

"I feel bad for him. I was there. I brought her home. I should have talked to her when I got the chance." Stiles pulled me on his chest and stroke my hair

"It's not your fault, Cass. And she'll forgive him. Don't worry. Everything will be OK." We sat in silence and like before his heartbeat made me feel better. I pull my head of his chest and look at him

"Thanks, Stiles."

"Anytime."

"I think it's time for me to go back home. You know you're always welcome at my place, Stiles."

"I know, thanks, Cass, but I can't just leave my dad."

"I know. And you know, I'm just a call away." I smile and grab my bag that was laying on Stiles' desk

"Thanks for coming."

"If you want me to come, I'll always be here as soon as possible."

"Thanks." I take my keys out of my bag and walk downstairs.

"I'm going home. Thank you for having me."

"You're always welcome, Cassandra." I smile and I open the door. I walk outside and looked in the dark. I got in my car and started my engine. I buckled up and drove home. This is going to be the longest break ever.

Spring break is over. I want to Stiles house every day and when I couldn't get there he came to my place. It made me feel better to know he's safe with me. I'd rather have him stay at my place at night as well, but he couldn't because of his dad. I couldn't stay at his place, also because of his dad. The morning came and my alarm reminded me that I had to school again. Stiles' dad is making Stiles and me go to ms. Morrell, the school guidance counselor. I got out of my bed and I let the warm water of my shower calm my muscles and I got dressed. For the first time after what happened at the police station I did my hair and make up. I grabbed my keys and before I opened the door of my car I exhaled. I sat down and I felt my heart race inside my chest. I don't want to go to school. I turned the key and drove to school. I saw Stiles stand alone at his locker and walked towards him

"Are you just as excited to be here as me?" I asked him leaning against another locker

"Yeah." He closed his locker when the bell rang and we walked to our first session with Ms. Morrell. Stiles was the first one and I sat in the chairs. Without noticing I started eavesdropping. Stiles was the first one to speak.

"You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's - it's actually kind of peaceful."

"Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?"

"I don't feel sorry for him."

"Can you feel sorry for the nine year old Matt who drowned?

"Just because a bunch of dumbasses dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one. And by the way, my dad told me that they found a bunch of pictures of Allison on Matt's computer. And not just of her though. I mean, he photoshopped himself into these pictures. Stuff like them holding hands and kissing. You know, like he had built this whole fake relationship. So yeah, maybe drowning when he was nine years old was what sent him off the rails, but the dude was definitely riding the crazy train."

"One positive thing came out of this, though. Right?" I think she's talking about his dad getting his job back

"Yeah. Yeah, but I still feel like there's something wrong between us. I don't know. It's just like tension when we talk." I remembered the way his dad was acting when I was around. He tried to act normal, but I could feel the tension too

"Same thing with Scott."

"Have you talked to him since that night?"

"No, not really. I mean, he's got his own problems to deal with though." I thought about what happened with him and his mom

"I don't think he's talked to Allison either. But that might be more her choice, you know. Her mom dying hit her pretty hard. But I guess it brought her and her dad closer."

"And Cassandra?"

"This thing has brought us closer. We were always trying to stay close to each other. Or she came to my place, or I went to hers. I'm happy she was there. I think she's the one that kept me sane. I don't think I would be here without her. We didn't talk much though. We were just sitting there in silence, but it wasn't an awkward one. It felt nice. Just knowing that she was there, made me feel safe." I thought about it. He's right, we didn't talk much at all. We just sat in his room and the first days I always laid my head on his chest to calm me down.

"Jackson? Jackson hasn't really been himself lately. Actually the funny thing is, as of right now, Lydia is the one who seems the most normal."

"And what about you, Stiles? Feeling some anxiety about that championship game tomorrow night?" I looked through the window in the door and saw his chewing on his lacrosse gear

"Why would you ask me that? Ah. Uh, no. I - I never actually play. But hey, since one of my teammates is dead and another one's missing, who knows, right?"

"You mean Isaac. One of the three runaways. You haven't heard from any of them, have you?"

"How come you're not taking any notes on this?"

"I do my notes after the session."

"Your memory's that good?"

"How about we get back to you?" There was a silence

"Stiles?"

"I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping; the jumpiness; the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible's about to happen."

"It's called hyper-vigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat."

" But it's not just a feeling, though. It's - it's like it's a panic attack. You know, like I can't even breathe."

"Like you're drowning?"

"Yeah."

"So if you're drowning, and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment, what if you choose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in?"

"You do anyway. It's a reflex."

"But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you have more time, right?"

"Not much time."

"But more time to fight your way to the surface?"

"I guess."

"More time to be rescued?"

"More time to be in agonizing pain. I mean, did you forget about the part where you feel like your head's exploding?"

"If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?"

"But what if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and then and it's just hell later on?"

"Then think about something Winston Churchill once said: 'If you're going through hell, keep going.' " I get the feeling she knows something, but I'm not sure.