Every Reason I loved her

Chapter 26

"Very nice boyfriend-er husband answer, Theo." She rests her hand on my cheek and pulls me toward her. She presses a kiss to my nose and then my lips.

"Thank you, I've been practicing." I kiss her nose back before she hops to her feet.

"Let's go." She holds her hand out to me.

"Now?" I take her hand anyway.

She bobs her head "yep, right now, Mr. Bell."

"Anything for you Mrs. Bell."

***

Lana's in a light brown dress, with a chunky orange sweater and her favorite brown riding boots. Her black hair pulled up in a messy bun. She cradles the bowl of candy in her lap on the front porch of the apartment buildings as I step out with a fresh cup of tea.

She smiles at the kids, the little boys dressed in super hero costumes and pumpkins and the girls dressed in anything from wonder woman to princesses to various animals.

"Oh wow!" She exclaims to a group of girls, they're all dressed as kittens, the mother of one of them stands behind them.

"A whole litter of kittens!" Lana gushes throwing handfuls of candy into their bags. Not many kids live around us so she can be generous with the handfuls.

"Oh, and your mom too!" Lana points at the cat ears on the mom's head. she claps as if she were a little girl.

"You have such a cool mom!" Lana waves at the mom, the mom laughs and beckons her children over.

"Do you want kids?" I ask as I hand her a cup of hot tea and sit beside her. She wraps her hands around the tea cup and curls around it.

"I don't know." She shrugs carefully sipping on her cup to test the temperature. "why?"

"We've never really talked about kids before." I tell her drinking my coffee.

"We only just got married, Theo." She smiles at me curiously "you want kids already?"

"Not just yet but what do you think?" I ask, "I mean you're the one that has to carry it." Lana looks out at the city, the lights flickering on in waves as the sun's rays disappear behind the buildings.

"I guess one day." Lana sips her tea, her eyes trailing over the streets, the lights shining in her eyes. "I really just want to focus on right now... what's happening, what I'm feeling..." she trails off and sighs "thinking about tomorrow before tomorrow is here is like..." she hesitates trying to think of the word "it's like counting down until this day is over and... I don't want this day to be over... I didn't want yesterday to be over or the day before." She's thoughtful as she examines the street, the kids walking by in costumes. She waves at the random vendors stationed outside our building. The moms that powerwalk with their kids tucked in their strollers every morning. She notices everything.

"That doesn't answer my question." I prompt. She takes a deep breath and sighs.

"I like kids." She starts "I just never thought I'd get the chance to have any so I never wondered about that."

"but you wonder about everything." I laugh "you want to go to the most insane places and you dream not just for yourself but everyone around you."

"It was just different, Theo." She shakes her head, some hair falling loose from her bun.

"Those things are different than having a real life." She laughs, but not like something is funny, like something is impossible.

"If traveling the world like you always talk about isn't a 'real life' then what is?" I ask her.

"This." She holds her tea up toward me.

"Tea?" I cock my brow.

"No." She rolls her eyes at me "you, me, our little apartment and our bills we make just enough money between the two of us to pay."

"Out of everything you talk about," I shake my head "that's what's real to you."

"I want really, Theo." She finally looks at me "I want this, I want us because even if I had traveled to all the places I want to travel to... I'd still be alone and when I'm with you, Theo, I'm not alone." She set her tea down and grabbed my hands "you right here on this porch is more real and feels so much better and so much freer than traveling across the world because you are my world, Theo." She watches me for a few seconds before dropping my hands and wrapping her arms around herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm being a downer." She smiles and tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"What?" I place her tea back into her hands "this is what I want you to tell me, Lana, not everything has to be okay, you're allowed to feel sad and angry and hurt and then happy and in love... with me." she chuckles at that.

"It's okay if you're not okay, Lana." I place my arm across her shoulders "I'm your husband I'm not just here for sunshine and daisies, I'm here for the rain that makes the daises grow and the clouds that make us appreciate the sunshine." She smiles at that too, I knew she'd like that.

"Is that from one of your stories?" She leans into me as two more kids hold their bags out to us.

"Trick or Treat!" They yell.

"Oh!" Lana giggles "I love wolverine and Storm!" Lana throws a handful into each of their plastic pumpkin buckets.

"Thank you!" the kids laugh and run to catch up with a guy that looks too young to be their father.

"That's cute." Lana sighs, resting her head on her hand. "Their brother took them out to trick or treat."

Seventy-five hours twenty-three minutes.

And makes us appreciate the sunshine