Oh.


My.


God.


This is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever declared to me. I want to capture his words in essence and hold onto them forever because I could honestly die happily right now.

"But –" he adds on, and my heart sinks. "I can't forget what happened. I just can't. And I wouldn't want to hold that against you. I need a little more time and space to clear my head."

No.


"No," I say, speaking my thoughts. "Harry you don't get to say those things to me and then expect me just patiently wait around. I don't even know if you'll want me in the end. But you want me now, so isn't that enough?" I ask.

His troubled face looks absolutely tormented with the decision and hurt. I can tell he's made up his mind.

"I just will always have that image of you both ingrained in my memory," he says shaking his head. "I'm sorry."

With that he cups my face with both hands, wordlessly demanding my attention with that look. He delicately wipes away my falling tears with his thumbs and places his lips on mine. The kiss is everything you would want a kiss to be. Passionate, soulful, touching... only filled with sorrow and regret.

I break away from the kiss.

"Don't be," I shrug and take a few steps backwards as he looks on as I walk back to rejoin the world.

I feel his eyes on me as I walk inside, and don't look back to take one last look at him before he cuts me out of his life again.

I can't.

At least this time I had some part in the deciding process of walking away.

Though sadly, it doesn't make this any easier...


I rejoin the scene, exactly as I left it. Full of fake people and faked smiles, and I put on my own and will for this to end so I can curl up in my bed and sleep until midday.

               -     -     -     -     -     -

"Come on!" Brodie shouts, hanging half outside the taxi, trying to cajole me back inside. "Don't be a bitch, and get back in the car. We won't have any fun without you," she says, making a sad face.

"No, honestly, I am just really tired," I lie. "I would probably fall asleep and be really boring."

"Are you sure?" Casey calls out, leaning over Brodie.

The girls have been trying to get me to go out with him after leaving Ava Rose, though I'm obviously not feeling up for a night of partying. The last thing I need is to add copious amounts of alcohol to this very sad equation.

"Yes," I laugh, and it almost hurts to put in the effort to feign happiness when I am so devastatingly blue. "Just go on, and don't do anything I wouldn't do," and I cringe at my awkward cliché.

The taxi drives away with the two girls, and I shine my phone's brightness near the keyhole so I can get inside.

I disable the alarm system, and step out of my heels, freeing my feet from their expensive prison. I slip out of my dress, standing only in my bra and underwear, and enter our large kitchen. I begin chopping up some celery into sticks, and grab a jar of peanut butter, a bottle of wine and walk upstairs to my bedroom.

I set the items down on my side table, finish undressing, and slip under the covers nude as I turn the television on to pass the time as sleep is just not possible for me in this state. I am a constant worrier, and wish I could use sleep as an escape for when I'm feeling down about life, but that has never been me unfortunately.

My mind keeps replaying all of those heartfelt things he said to me, and yet despite how he feels, he still doesn't want me. He still can't forget and let go. It almost makes me angry. How dare he? How dare he come to my event and seek out to kiss me. How dare he lead me on when I have so desperately trying to forget him? How dare he walk back into my life when I was doing okay, and now I feel like I'm back to square one? If he truly cared about me, he wouldn't toy with me in this way.

Not even this nostalgic treat is doing me any good. I flip through the channels, avoiding any type of music stations, and stop at Breakfast at Tiffany's. I'm a sucker for a good Audrey Hepburn movie, and she is one of the few great actresses who has the ability to entrance and captivate you, bringing you into her world.

I take a sip of wine straight from the bottle, picturing how pathetic I would look from an outsider's point of view.

My phone begins to vibrate, though the main problem I face is that I am way on the other side of the bed and comfortable, and I have a pretty good idea who it is that would be calling.

I refused to speak to Luke when I went back inside to my event earlier on in the evening, despite his attempts. I even threatened to call security if he didn't leave me alone. I can't be around someone who would only be a reminder of my failed relationship.

I hear banging on the door downstairs.

Ugh. Scarlett and Calum.


The last thing I need is to try to fall asleep with them loudly fucking in the next room.

I get up and cover myself with the bed sheet. I open the window and think I can see Calum a little bit through the thick shrubbery.

"Scarlett – I don't know how many times I've told you, but you know the key is under the pot plant. I am not getting up to let you in!" I shout, not really caring about our neighbours.

I slam the window shut, and slip back under the warm sheets, the feeling so lovely against my bare skin.

She lightly taps at my door, and I tell her it's okay for her to enter.

Turning around to see what she wants, I am stunned to be faced not with Scarlett, but him.

Author's Note: Ahh! I hit over 3 million views! I now have 3,147,385 and am dying! Thank you. I'm sorry this isn't as long, but it's 2:22am and I'm slightly tipsy and well, I need to be sober when I write the next one. You'll see why. Ahhhhh who do you think it is? I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of hate for leaving it as a cliffhanger, and can't wait :) 

This also isn't the final chapter. I just wanted to trick you all. Sorry. It's not ending yet. I have quite a few more chapters to go, so please dont think it's coming up like super soon or anything. I'm just seeing a lot of comments about it, aand im like ahhhh who put this idea into your little brains that its ending soon. probably me.

Fave comment goes to @omghorange on the simple fact that it made me laugh. 

Oh also, which part is your faves from the story. Like the entire thing. You can name a chapter, or a certain scene, or whatever you want :)

P.S - if you haven't tried celery with peanut butter, please do. I hate peanut butter and yet I love it with celery. I know it sounds odd, but its an amazing mix. I feel like the people who know about this is like half/half, so I dont know if its an Aussie thing, but try it!

Oh, and by the way I'm banning these words in my comment section: frickle frackle, and smut. That's it for now. 

gemma

Twitter: WordsWithGem 
Snapchat: gemma.allan
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