What Goes Around... || H.S. Harry Styles

19.

He was all for not bringing up the past but seeing her react the way she did last night is making him think this is worst than just a couple of bad dates. He wants to know her, every part of her, even the bits she's trying to mask.

She sits up, needing to gain some clarity away from his distracting mouth and he follows her lead, quickly following her until they are sitting cross legged, facing each other on the bed.

"Umm, well, there isn't that much to tell really..." She starts, a little flustered with the intrusion and trying to comb her unruly hair with her fingertips.

Harry remains silent, patiently waiting for her to open up and hoping with every cell in his body that she will.

"Well, the latest dreamboat..." she jokes trying to deflect the severity of the conversation but Harry doesn't budge, his eyes regarding her like she's the only person on the entire planet.

She exhales a sigh and meets his gaze.

"The last guy, Dylan, turned out to be married, his wife nearly throttled me when I turned up at their doorstep, completely unaware of the situation. There was a guy before that who I caught in bed with his secretary, another who got heavily into drugs and was trying to pressure me into joining him until one day it was too much and I had to leave," she pauses to make sure Harry is still actually here and not planning his fastest escape route only to find his frown etching deeper in his brow and him scooting a little closer on the mattress.

"Um, I have a list a mile long but I guess the worst one was Ben, a few years ago, who tried to force me into a threesome by literally rocking up at my apartment with another girl, I was uncomfortable but so caught off guard, I didn't really know how to react," she looks down as she fiddles with her hands in her lap as the memories of that awful night flood her mind. "I-I thought I should just go along with it, you know? Telling myself to live a little and to be adventurous, but we hadn't even spoken about it and they were all over me and I felt really pressured and..."

Harry's hand on her cheek interrupts her rambling as her lip starts to tremble and he quietly hushes her.

"Shhh, s'okay, love."

She's nods feebly before continuing, "I guess after school, I was just desperate to find whatever we had again, or find you again in someone else, maybe," she admits and his heart feels like it's pulling in his chest so tight it might completely tear away. "And I just kept making bad judgement after bad judgement. Looking back it was so obvious they were all horrible people, I just don't know how I could have been so stupid."

"You were hopeful and optimistic, not stupid," he tries to reassure her as he pulls her closer to him, their legs around each others backs and her hands in his.

"What about you?" She asks cautiously and watches as he licks his perfect lips.

"What do you want to know?"

"What have your girlfriends been like, since me?"

He bites the inside corner of his mouth and tries to assess the best way of telling her this without sounding like a nutcase or a player.

"Um, well, I-I actually haven't dated anyone since you," he mumbles and it's his turn to look down at his hands as he twists a ring around his middle finger.

"At all?!" Tash exclaims a little too loudly. "But what about that woman at the bar, the blonde one, there must have been one?"

She had told him after dinner at the Chinese restaurant, that all she wanted from him was honesty, and so Harry decided in that moment that that's what he was going to give her.

"Um, no, I never dated anyone. Alice tried to set me up a few times but I wasn't interested. I slept with women, um, I guess a lot of women, but they were all the same. They all spoke the same, looked the same, acted the same," he admits and holds onto her waist, scared she going to run from him despite them being in her apartment.

"They were all like that blonde in the bar? Tall, skinny, blonde, flirty?" She asked curiously and he nodded in acknowledgement.

"Jeez, you poor thing," she jokes out of self protection and his grip tightens. "Guess you have a type?" She teases, still trying to use humour as a defence for her own heart that is shrivelling up, knowing full well she is a tiny brunette.

He shakes his head as he watches her guard invisibly build up in front of his eyes. She tries so hard not to come across insecure but the vulnerability is pulling Harry towards her faster than he can process.

"No, no it's not my type. YOU are my type, they were the opposite of you, the only way I could move on, or pretend to, was to not be with anyone who would remind me of the fact I had lost the best thing that I was ever going to have."

A/N:
Hope you're loving the quick updates!

Pllllleaase vote and comment it means the world to me!

I'm trying to get to all your comments from the last two chapters but I've been busy writing these as quickly as I can so forgive me but I DO read them all!

Love Ruby
X