Self Deception

115 / Spirits (youre safe here)

3-28-18
Your car was driving ahead of mine,
I felt you smile-
Higher than I,
Always higher than I.
Maybe I think in vain,
Maybe you think through my veins,
The lead that weighs-
The pen I erase
From your arms,
Like the sun-
Natural bleach.
I believe in your paths finding mine,
Although I do not understand
Their ways against the afterlife.
Mud and combat boots-
The aesthetic to your destruction,
Your smile swims through the open windows,
And I think of you,
In bitterness, in memorization of little effort,
Of love.
You did good,
Natural selection.

She's living with the sunflowers now,
And maybe I never did pay enough respect
To the designers
Responsible
Beneath your eyes.
Tigers, and a bottle,
I remember your style
And even more so,
I can see clearly the room,
The check in list,
For you to check out.
I'll tip one back for you,
Short hair,
Short change,
Penny.
Follow me still,
You've got tongues in different bodies-
I listen I listen I listen.

Cigarette boy,
Overdose on the antidote.
Your Facebook,
Full of blurry photos,
Good nights.
I've got a few of those racked up, myself.
You taught them to put it down,
But you paid the price.
And I'm headed for a city
With your name written all over it.
They wish you happy birthday,
You're not gone,
Maybe if we want, we could live on.
Or maybe we're more remembered in tragedy than ever will we be credited for glory and good.

Keep it off the streets now,
Your heart on your sleeve,
Kurt Cobain in tats and hip hop,
I keep you on me, boi.
Shopping cart in the skies,
I'll see you in my sleep,
I'll keep you in my dreams
Of bedrooms and lights
And hotel rooms-
You come to me from different places.

And to every one close,
But never close enough to touch It,
I know you just as well,
I'll keep you in my back pocket.
Death won't take me for a minute,
But it fills me,
It's found me.
Live through me,
I'll breathe your breaths,
Seek your truths,
And I won't let you down.
⁃ (m.m)

Written to best friend by tashaki miyaki