Self Deception

39 / Guilt (save me)

4-24-17
You drop into my waters
Like liquid smoke,
Fanning out in shades of dark purple-
And I open my eyes,
Underwater,
Because maybe all I'll see is you.
And I know it's just not true..

Uncoil your safety,
Let the alarms ring.
We flaunt our danger,
So they know the kind of people we are,
So they know what weapons we've made.
Love is a four letter word
That is a hell of a lot stronger
Than vodka on my tongue,
Because this one's caught up in your memory the morning after.

I'm drowning in blues,
In nights I'd live to say no,
In conversations that hide from even me, lately.
The guilt searches me for all I have,
And it takes possession.

Red teeth,
Sliding like glass on my neck,
But you don't take me to the places I've been in,
The places that make me drift on a glance,
I'm balancing on the edge.

The eyes of a creep,
Corners are sharp for reasons,
I've learned,
And the degree of a turn doesn't mean shit,
Because the settings are never to blame,
The observers are never to blame.
You might make me feel safe,
When the sky rains for a city on acid,
But you fade from view
When you fade from touch.

I've spent too much time swimming lately,
And I'm looking for you to swing your eyes up at me,
The way you used to,
But I know,
Oh god I know,
The bite marks at my neck
Tell you everything's for show-
You've read between the lines this far
And I'm panicking in bathrooms still,
So tell me if I've really changed.
Tell me if its all really over.

It's time to get out of the water,
The bridges are burning above me,
The tiles are cracking,
The doors are locking
While the lights flicker.
I'm drowning in everything
And bodies suffocate me.
⁃ (m.m)

It's not what people do, it's how they make you feel.

I love the fuck outta you.

Freckles oceans eye contact mystery

Roses speeding cigarettes hard liquor

Sunlit eyes Eminem Quiet Nights Trust

Reckless nights texts from miles away chains colored light

Meeting your family swings higher ground patience suggestive words

Guns missing pieces sneaking out hickeys bedsheets

Ed sheeran inside jokes lyrics crooked teeth snapchats

Marijuana jealousy fairy lights

Blushes dubstep wine night

Confession sex

I love you, it keeps me up, looking at artificial stars

I love you but maybe that's 40% more honesty by volume

I never stop thinking of you

I lose myself in your touch

Your eyes are always captivating

Touch my thighs and tell me to drop my habits

I bettered myself for you and I'm a fucking wreck but you don't mind

You're a deck of cards

You're every song I listen to, every lyric I memorize

Your name is religion, we've been sinning in your syllables

You put me at ease, and you know your power

You're so in love with me, but I want the drip of it off your lips

You're reserved in every way I am and that's the worst part of it

I'm supposed to be straight up with you and I'm just caught in a web

The venom on my neck is bloody with thoughts of you

You've got a right to be jealous

You don't even know what I'd give

You don't even know what I'd give

You've seen the lows

You get me high

You never said a word but I saw that you noticed, how long have you watched?

I'm going under please just give me enhancer, I'm falling into guilt as easy as I fell into you

He kissed me and I had a weekend to think. I've had you on my mind for months.

You think I love you

You never knew a damn thing. I can't take this fucking wreck because I'll be the only surviver, have I not learned from my mistakes? Throw it away throw it away open a fucking vein and you'll tell me I'm stupid, but you stay and for the fucking life of me I'll never understand why.
- (m.m)