8-29-17
They pin me to the ceiling by a chokehold,
Clot my arteries with stars
That peel from their own adhesive.
They kiss me slowly,
I'll memorize their lines
For every one of mine
I owe them credit for.
There's a tunnel we meet,
Where you address yourself,
And I was star struck at the light I kept swearing I'd see,
But the only thing to experience
Is what's in between.
He's fucking with you again,
You're like a fucking needle,
And boy, I really do understand
How such a poison could be so sweet,
How such a lie could feel like love-
Justify it with her being different,
Justify it with deserving it,
Justify it by every moment the light hit her,
And nothing hit the fan,
But it'll kill you regardless of a belief set
All shiny and new like silverware.
They whisper in my ear,
Dragging the skin between teeth of swords,
Kiss my neck, and I'm yours.
They loop what they hear,
Like the shit inspires them.
I'm full of you,
All liquid running my systems.
Got me so fucking sick on you,
Wanna puke out every ounce of the shit,
But instead I cough
And let my ribs handle the fact
That you won't leave.
Internal bleeding seeping
Through my skin like a towel,
Your name carves itself in the spaces,
Between my ribcages like fingers.
Took what's broken and made it worse,
Took advantage of me,
Walked over me like a doormat,
And you'd be enough to snap me,
You're enough to fucking kill me.
Gave you everything I had,
Brought the liquor and the smoke
To your underground places,
Gave you love, nothing short of it,
Gave you chances like a weather forecast,
Gave you a roof when it rained,
And a window when we had to hide.
Took your lies,
And spit em back out
Like they never happened,
But I felt it.
It sharpened every word you said,
Till they slaughtered me.
I watch the occupants you keep,
And it's so sad,
That you can detain souls here.
I take my bottles to my own cemetery
And party alone these days.
Blood in the water-
You fucking sank me with a smile.
They snake their way through my sinuses,
Promising to give in to empty threat,
And I wonder what's for show,
And what's real anymore.
They cloud over mirrors with a need
For some gray medicament.
Used to talk about bullet holes,
Because they were all that I could believe in.
Fill the fucking holes I walk with,
Who else looks for that emptiness?
He's coming down with the sickness,
I'm stepping back.
Although, I could never understand why,
I leave it to an unknown device,
Thinking you'd learn a virtue
Within these ghosts talking bout a vice.
You hang us like artwork,
Always had an artists touch,
And I had to leave,
But your voice stays here-
With all of the rest of them,
And I swear to god I loved you when it killed me.
It'd never mean enough to you,
It'd never mean anything to you,
And the light
Was only a placebo,
So on dawn, I wait,
With a vial of vodka
And some aggression.
If you were worth anymore of my life,
I'd shatter you and slit your own neck with the pieces,
Maybe then we'd fucking relate.
Dilute your blood with bleach,
But you'd still be stained deep
With betrayal.
To the inhabitants,
Get out-
You'll never find the end here,
It's only over when she loses power
And you walk away.
She'll still catch bodies
Second nature like a habit,
But I'm telling you to leave.
The only friend she'll be
Is to your demons,
And they'll love the fuck out of her, I promise.
- (m.m)
No mercy // PVRIS
Fuck you. Again.
YOU ARE READING
Self Deception
PoetryPoetry 2017 And if I burn out in a fit of psychosis, remember me as a young god, with that smile made of daggers, even if I was the most dangerous thing you could've touched. Perhaps all that danger comes from the multiple personalities, but all I...
