white boys (river phoenix)

44

Chapter Forty Four

"So you're broken up?"

The sound of Ariella's concerned voice filled the other end of the line, and Robin sighed, hoping Ariella could hear it over the phone.

"We're on a 'break'," she said, rolling over onto her back and picking at her fingernails.

Yesterday had been a day for contemplation. Seeing as they'd only been together a month, Robin told herself to reject the tears that wanted so badly to stream down her face and bring her mascara with them. If she cried, she knew she'd regret it later. Regret the wave of emotions she had over a boy she wasn't supposed to be with anyway. It seemed as though fate had crossed its path- after all, this was what was supposed to happen, right?

The rules were still set in stone, although some had changed. But that one rule about not dating White Boys still applied, no matter how hard Robin tried to break it.

"What does that even mean?" Ariella barked into the phone, as if accusing Robin of making the decision herself.

"I don't know. But he never said we were actually broken up. Just-" she mocked his faraway voice, although it was a voice she knew and loved so much- "'I think we should take a break.'"

"Bullshit," Ariella said. "Well, I guess you're a free bird then."

"I guess so too," Robin said with a shrug.

"Did you really like him?' Ariella asked, and after a brief pause Robin answered,

"Of course I do. Did. I'm not gonna spend my days moping and weeping over him though."

"So let me get this straight. He broke up with you because you didn't want him to meet your parents. 'Cuz of that whole thing they have with gringos," Ariella said.

"Yeah. I guess I just couldn't bring myself to tell him we're not allowed to be dating. I mean, do you hear how ridiculous that sounds? 'Oh, I'm sorry River, but I just can't date you because even though I'm seventeen and I can make my own choices, my parents still don't want me dating white boys because of a recent incident.' I mean, you know how silly that sounds?"

"Yeah, if someone told me their parents didn't let them date Latinas I'd cuss them out. But then again, I'd rather know than feel suspicious," Ariella said, as if it were nothing.

But the weight of Ariella's words hit Robin like a ton of bricks. To think that this situation was all based on race and she hadn't once thought about herself. She tried to imagine if River were to hide the fact that he was dating Robin because of his parents, despite him being almost a man (legally). It sounded like a lot of bullshit. Maybe it wasn't entirely the same way when the switch was flipped, because white people had never experienced oppression the same way Robin or Ariella had, but it still sounded ingenuine.

And besides, why hadn't she just told him? Pushed her pride aside and risked looking silly in front of him. Maybe anybody else would have been angry with her, but of all people, River would understand. Robin knew the reason she didn't tell him was because she wasn't expecting a break up out of their situation, so why tell him something she didn't want to? But besides that, she didn't want to have to bring up the trauma she had been trying to leave behind ever since she moved to Boston in the summer. It was supposed to be forbidden to be spoken of, that was just the way it had to be.

But maybe Robin should have thought it through a little better. Why would she even consider dating him if he wasn't going to be able to know the reason behind her reluctance in the first place? All these thoughts were running through her head, and none of them were making much sense.