The Lazarus Effect

Fifteen

Deorro- Tell Me Lies

Jason:

"What the hell is this?" Bruce asked sliding his phone over to me from across the dining room table.

"Well, hello to you too, Bruce. My day was just a big ass pile of shit but please make it worse," I answered him taking the phone off the table. I looked down to see it was a picture of me kissing his daughter. I sighed shoving it back at him. "She was having a full-blown panic attack and it was the only thing I could think of to stop it. I've felt like shit about this all day already and I've had to be around her the entire time. So please spare me the fucking lecture,"

"Jason, you were supposed to be protecting her. What the hell happened?"

"This sorority girl came up to her and was like your mom and your grandma were the best charities girl parties blah- blah- fuckity- blah and she couldn't deal. She was freaking out. What was I supposed to do let go on a killing rampage in the middle of the campus? I was protecting her. Have Dick or Tim look after her if you don't like it. You don't think this affects me as much as it did her?"

"Jason..." he tried calmly.

"Of course not, because I'm just the bad guy here. That's all I'm ever going to be to you. To her. To everybody. It's fine. It's not like I care,"

"Jason stop," she said walking into the room. "What do you get out of telling him that? You want him to feel guilty? He already does. Stop,"

"I'm sorry, okay. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know," I shouted.

"I know you didn't. I'm sorry for reacting the way I did. You didn't deserve that. You were helping me. It just surprised me, okay?" she came over to me but I couldn't have her this close. Not again. "I'm sorry for you making you feel bad about it, it was wrong,"

"No, it wasn't. It shouldn't have been like that. You deserved better,"

Before she could argue with me any further. I rushed up the stairs and slammed the door to my room as soon as I walked through it. The look on her face had haunted me all morning. The lack of response. All of it was just a big fuck you, Jason. You fucking pathetic worthless idiot.

"Jay, please open the door," she whispered from the other side of the door. "Please. I know you can hear me,"

"Go away, Ilya," I said gripping the comforter tightly.

"Please, Jay. Let me in. I am so sorry,"

"Why are you sorry?" I asked getting up. I pulled the door open to see her standing there looking up at me worriedly. "You have no reason to be sorry. I shouldn't have done that to you,"

"You didn't do anything wrong," she said stepping into my room. She shut the door and went over to sit at the end of my bed. Her head hung like she was ashamed. "That's just not how I imagined it would happen,"

"You deserve so much better than that, Ilyasviel,"

"Don't call me that," she said looking up at me. "Don't call me that when you're like this it makes me feel like you're going to leave me and I can't afford to lose you. Ever,"

"What?" I asked taken by surprise.

"You're probably the only thing that is keeping me together. I want you to be around all the time. You get it. You don't look at me like they do. I don't know what the hell I'm doing but when I look at you. I know I'm going to be okay,"

"You are," I said crouching down in front of her. "You don't need me to be okay,"

"I need you," she insisted.