white boys (river phoenix)

40

But what she didn't realize was that this time she wasn't alone. This time she had her friends and her... boyfriend (as odd as it sounded) to defend her. She tended to pity herself a lot, and with good reason, but she never seemed to know that with everything bad that happened to her, there was always a bright side.

Her tears dried against River's denim jacket that her face was crushed into, but her eyes were still red and puffy. Luckily, unlike last time, there was no big crowd of spectators to watch Robin as she descended into shame.

He held her by her shoulders, grounding her and looked at her, his brows knit together. He seemed genuinely concerned, and softly crooned,

"Hey, why are you crying?"

It wasn't a rhetorical question. He gave her time to answer, although the bell had rung since then, and people still walking to their classes were beginning to stare at the two.

"Because I can't- I can't deal with-"

He could see she was having trouble with her words and he frowned, shushing her gently. He put his pointer finger to her wet lips and the other pointer finger to his own to indicate silence. She sniffled a bit, but nonetheless stopped talking, and eventually stopped crying. She looked at him, her eyes still puffy and red, and they established a connection. It was like they were reading each other's mind, and River was telling her to calm down, and she was saying okay, silently and languidly.

"You know this will all pass, right? They'll forget about it over the weekend. You know that right?"

His finger left her lip and he allowed her to answer, her voice shaky,

"Yeah, but-"

"Then why are you crying?" he asked her.

"Because," she started, then stopped.

She wished desperately that she could tell him. And she could. He was her boyfriend after all, wasn't he? In fact, if she had just told him that from the beginning, they could both be avoiding this by now. Sure, maybe they wouldn't be together (River was still quite persistent), but they would be sound. She had never really established quite clearly why she couldn't tell him. It wasn't something that would ruin her, but at the same time it wasn't something she wanted him to know.

It had only dawned on her just then that she didn't want him knowing what had happened to her and knowing that she couldn't date white boys because all along she wanted to date him. And if she had told him that, things would be very different. And that was both good and bad. She also didn't want him knowing those two things because she had came here to start over, not to dwell on the past. Thus, why would she want everyone else knowing so that they could dwell on a past that wasn't even theirs?

"Come on, let's go."

"Go where?" she asked, confused.

"I don't know. Just not here."

"River, we can't just leave."

"Sure we can!" he exclaimed, causing Robin to shush him - they were supposed to be in their classes by now. "Sorry. But, we can, you know."

"How?" Robin asked, folding her arms and glaring at him, challenging him.

He winked and smiled at her boyishly,

"I know certain things that other people, such as yourself, just aren't familiar with."

He started to walk away and she pulled on the sleeve of his jacket,

"Hey! We're gonna get into trouble."

"No we're not," he shrugged, the ghost of a smile still lingering on his glistening face.