Virat tightened his hold on Manvi who was now completely silent, he could see that she was in deep thought, her eyes were red but she wasn't crying anymore. Virat lowered his arms and held her hand, her reverie broke and she blinked at him while breaking out from his hold.
"Aap yahan?" she asked but didn't wait for him to answer to move a step away from him, Virat refused to leave his hold on her hand,
"I have been calling you for the last few minutes and you weren't answering," he looked at her questioningly.
"Oh... I..." Manvi paused and wondered where her phone was,
"What's wrong?" Virat didn't want to be angry but her aloofness was starting to slowly eat him up. Manvi didn't answer and Virat couldn't understand her dilemma, "Manvi, I asked what made you cry?" he repeated, his voice controlled but anger slowly over taking.
"Kissi khi yaad aagayi thi..." she paused, reconsidering her reply.
Virat didn't still understand, who would? She was after all talking in bits and pieces.
Manvi looked at his confused face and continued speaking, "My friend who is no more... who decided to leave us never to come back," Manvi didn't feel like she was lying, it was startling for her how Roshni already felt so dear to her... the diary made her feel as if she knew Roshni closely... just like how you will know a friend.
Virat was worried how Manvi was sounding, he had never seen her like this... sad, broken and lost.
This time he didn't pull her towards him, he moved closer to her instead, then cupped her cheeks between his palm. Manvi didn't resist, she was barely present in this conversation.
"That is life, people go and we have to be strong," he didn't know where those words came from but he knew he meant it.
"Just like Roshni..." that was impulsive too but Manvi didn't regret saying that even after she felt Virat's hands getting cold instantly. "Just like Roshni hai na? Tho aap kyun nahi jaane de rahein hai?" She wasn't shouting... she just couldn't understand how else was she supposed to make him let go.
Virat didn't know why she was talking about Roshni all of a sudden, however he also realized how difficult for Manvi it would be to just ignore that her fiance was still not ready to let go of his past.
Virat slid down his hands but Manvi made sure to keep it intact with her skin, which was warm he noticed.
"You are warm..." he voiced his concern breaking the moment unconsciously but it irritated Manvi how easily he escaped her question, she pushed his hand away, her frustration taking a toll on her.
Manvi's eyes were moist when Virat looked at her cynically, not understanding why she was reacting the way she did, "You always do this Virat ji..." Manvi was angry.
"Do what?" What Virat didn't understand was her love for him, he didn't understand that she was trying hard to free him from guilt and he was doing nothing to show her that he was trying to.
"You always avoid my question... you never let me help you."
"I never asked you to help Manvi." Virat didn't understand why she thought that she could make everything fine.
Manvi was tired, she didn't know why he was being so indifferent, didn't he know what love is or he didn't still want to accept her love. What did he want from her?
Manvi took few steps back, walking away from him as much as possible, she believed in bonding emotionally not physically, she was not going to let him touch her till he learnt what love really means, accept her love and also appreciate it.
"I don't understand what you want from me..." she uttered loud enough for him to raise his burning gaze to look at her. Virat took a step forward but she took two moving back again. "Come to me when you find out what you really want from me... because I can't keep doing what I have been doing all along... I said love doesn't happen forcefully but I at least want to be your companion not just a figure who you could tag according to your own wish.. I am not forcing you to love but I want to be accepted." She completed, her face blank as she turned and ran inside the house. Leaving a bruised Virat behind, who couldn't still figure out what she really meant... what all was in his mind was, Manvi... the person who meant everything for him these days asking him to stay away from her.
*******************
Virat kept walking from one end to the other, he was alone at home as all the others were out with the newly married couple, he had even shouted on Viren who was pestering him to join them, Virat wanted nothing but climb up to her room, check on her. It has been one complete day since he had spoken to her and the words she uttered kept echoing in his head. He had often asked the same question from himself but the answer had always been the same. He wanted her in his life... she knew that too. But that wasn't enough, he realized that Manvi wants him to let her help him to get over the burden he was carrying... but how can she do that when he couldn't even after trying so much? He didn't want his feelings and hurt to be taken as a trivial matter, for him it was everything... it still is. He didn't want her to meddle with his that part of life. Virat wondered why she can't let his past be and worry about the present which she was obscuring. She was trying to fight for a lost battle already, he knew he would never be able to be that old Virat he was before he left his home, that old Virat was dead and gone along with the burnt letters which Roshni wrote him... That old Virat died the same moment he got to know that he could have saved his Rosh from the darkness which was swallowing her... she wanted to be saved, she wanted to be saved only by him and he was too late to realize it. She was good in hiding and he was a master in being careless with the people he loved. He was careless with Roshni and he is being careless with Manvi... that was when something clicked his mind... that was when he realized how he had ignored that inner voice which was screaming for his attention, that voice which kept saying that, You love Manvi'.
"I love her..." he whispered, and the lightness, the relief which engulfed him was unexplainable, he felt so light, so free and even silly. He repeated it again, I love Manvi' the words kept rolling out as if it was a practice for him, as if he had said it about thousand times to her. But the happiness and the relief in him was new, it had been years since he felt so happy, he felt as if he had been searching for the missed piece of puzzle for years and he had accidently seen it under his bed. He loves her and the realization happened in just a blink of a moment, something in him tried to argue, tried to dodge but another part of him said that this feeling could be nothing but love, he loved her and he knew how he was going to let her know.
