Because I Love You

Fight Me For Real

When Alec finally strolled in to the institute, it was almost midday. To warm up, he decided to jog to the training room. It seemed a much shorter distance whilst he was jogging, if he'd have walked it would've taken him at least another ten minutes. Jace was already in the training room when Alec arrived, and by the looks of it, he'd been there for a while.
"So, you decided to show up then?" Jace asked without turning around. He had a seraph blade clutched in his right hand and was viciously attacking a training dummy.
"Well, since you woke me and Magnus up, seriously annoyed Magnus which ended us up in a fight, it's safe to say I've come to kick your ass." Alec replied to Jace's amusement. "Did I say something funny?"
"Only the fact that you think you can kick my ass." Jace chuckled to himself. Alec shed his jacket and threw it to one side. Jace may have had the strength advantage, but Alec was nimble and quick which often made it hard for Jace to hit him.
"Well then fight me. Fists only, no runes." Alec challenged. Jace stopped his attack on the dummy and turned around. He could see by the look on Alec's face that he was deadly serious. He wanted to fight. "And I owe you a punch off Magnus too. But, before we get into this, I want my key back." Jace took the key out of his pocket.
"How about we make this little fight conditional? You win; I give you the key back and never disturb you and Magnus again." Alec pondered the thought for a moment.
"Okay... What if you win?" Alec asked cautiously.
"You have to make Magnus turn my new pet snake back into my favourite dagger." Jace said, discarding his seraph blade. "Sound fair?" Alec nodded and a split second later, narrowly dodged a blow from Jace. Alec smiled at the thought of Jace's dagger being a snake, but his smile quickly vanished as Jace tried to sweep his feet out from underneath him. Alec leapt back out of the way.
"By the way." Alec began as he danced around Jace. "Magnus said that if you ever do something like that again, he'll do something you won't enjoy." Jace stopped for a moment and shuddered before turning his attention back to the fight.
"I don't fancy having meal worms in my underwear again." Jace said. Alec laughed but in doing so, he dropped his guard. Jace saw his opportunity and punched Alec in the stomach. As he pulled back for another punch, Alec rolled to the side out of the way. "And you grill me about leaving myself open." He taunted. Alec glared at him.
"No fair. You don't laugh in a fight against demons." Jace shrugged. Alec glanced over to his jacket in the corner of the room. He was anxious to know if Magnus had called or left him a message.
"Can I call a time out for a minute?" Alec asked, dropping his stance slightly, but not enough so Jace could attack him easily.
"Nope, no stopping until the fight is over and you've lost." Alec glared, Jace's cocky attitude often got on his nerves. He thought it was about time that someone taught him a lesson.
"I'm not twelve years old anymore Jace! I'm not some weak little boy you can use as a punching bag! I'm going to win this fight, no matter how long it takes!" Alec was releasing all of his anger in one go, all the anger he'd kept bottled up for years. The anger he'd hidden from his family, friends and even Magnus. The anger he had over Max's death, over his and Magnus' fights, over every little thing that he managed to keep hidden to himself. Jace seemed to take Alec's anger as a way to push him. To make him fight for real.
"Well come on then. Fight me for real." Jace taunted. "Or are you not man enough to prove those words to me." Jace thought he saw a flash of pure anger go across Alec's eyes and without warning, Alec lashed out. He was quick but Jace managed to avoid his attacks. "See, now you're fighting me for real." Jace said, ducking under Alec's right fist. "You're using your speed to gain an advantage which is good."
"This is not a training session!" Alec screamed at him. Alec feigned a shot left and as soon as Jace moved to block it, Alec changed his attack entirely. Instead of a punch which would've done little to no damage to his Parabatai, he kicked him. As soon as Jace had left his stomach open, Alec saw his time to strike. He pulled his fist back, stepped back on his weaker left leg, and kicked as hard as he physically could into Jace's stomach. Jace grunted in pain but managed to keep his footing. Alec had sweat dripping down his face, he angrily wiped it away but he couldn't stop his eyes from darting back to his jacket. Jace could see some of his anger vanish when he thought about Magnus, so he decided to try and get him to open up.
"What's going on Alec? This isn't like you. You aren't an angry person." The two of them had come to a standstill. Neither was moving to attack, Jace genuinely needed to know. "You're my Parabatai. My best friend in the whole world. I've never seen you like this." Alec looked at Jace; he could see a slight cut on his cheek. Alec realised he must have hit him without knowing.
"You want to know what's wrong? Fine. What's wrong is that I constantly hurt, anger or annoy the man I love. What's wrong, is it should've been me who died and not Max. What's wrong is that I can't seem to catch a break because everything in my life seems to be going wrong!" Jace was stunned. It hurt when Alec brought up Max, but he refused to cry. Slowly his thoughts managed to process what he'd said. It took a few minutes, but he finally said.
"Check your phone." Jace had dropped his offensive stance altogether. Alec took the opportunity and ran to his jacket, hunting for his phone. He dug it out and saw he had no messages. His heart sank. "Text him Alec. If Magnus hasn't messaged or called you by now, it means he's waiting for you to message first." Jace said, walking over. Alec opened a new message and was ready to type, but he had no idea what to put. What could he say that would stop Magnus from being mad at him? Jace watched Alec's forehead furrow in thought. He paced around the training room for a short while before looking back at Alec. He was still sat in the same position, thinking hard about what to write.

Suddenly, Alec's forehead relaxed and his fingers started dancing over his phones keyboard.
"I thought I'd let you know I got something to eat on my way to the institute." Alec typed; he sent the message and chewed his lip. His stomach knotted at the thought of Magnus not texting back but he had faith in Jace's words. It was a few minutes before Alec got a reply and he jumped to his feet. "He messaged back!" Alec shouted happily. Jace smiled.
"I told you he would. Now, tell him you'll call him later, and come and talk to me." Alec nodded and opened the text.
"Good, I'm glad." Was all it said. Alec's smile dropped and he looked sadly at his phone. He turned away quickly before Jace could notice.
"I'll call you later okay? Then we can sort this whole thing out." Alec typed back. He sent the message and less than thirty seconds later he had a reply.
"Okay." Magnus had sent. Alec was afraid that he had really upset Magnus and he wanted to make it better. Alec crouched down and was about to put his phone away when another message came through. He immediately opened it and smiled.
" x " was what the message read. It was amazing how one tiny letter, could change Alec's mood so much. He put his phone away and turned to Jace, who was looking more patient than Alec had ever seen him. He was sat, cross legged, in the middle of the training mat. Alec walked over, and sat facing him.
"Jace I'm so..."
"No, don't say you're sorry. I pushed you when I knew you were upset. It's my fault, end of story. Right now, I just want you to talk to me." Alec watched a tiny trickle of blood flow from the cut on his face, though Jace seemed oblivious.
"Okay." Alec said reluctantly. Jace nodded.
"First. Why do you think you always annoy Magnus?" Jace asked. Alec opened his mouth to answer but then closed it again. He didn't have an answer. He didn't know. "You don't know. Do you?" Alec shook his head.
"It's just..." Alec began and sighed. "Earlier, he was making me breakfast and I didn't want to make myself any later coming here because I knew you'd take it out on me." Jace looked at Alec in surprise.
"Alec I was surprised when you walked in those doors. You getting breakfast is fine by me. I wouldn't have cared, I'm just glad you showed up." He explained. Alec nodded.
"I'm glad that's cleared up. But I was drumming my fingers on the dining room table and I was watching the clock and he asked me to stop so I did. But instead I tapped my feet on the floor and..."
"And he snapped?" Jace finished for him. Alec nodded and Jace could see that he was nervously playing with his hands. "Alec you know what he's like when he's tired. It wasn't your fault. It couldn't be helped." Alec pushed himself to his feet; he couldn't bear to sit still so he walked around the training room.
"I guess you're right." He said finally.
"I know I'm right. Okay, next question. Why do you think you should've died instead of Max?" Jace knew to tread lightly on the topic as he knew that Alec still had a hard time coping with the death of his brother. Alec answered straight away.
"He hadn't lived his life. He was nine Jace. He was nine and that bastard Jonathan killed him. Max was just a boy. Max hadn't even gotten his first rune, he'd never fallen in love, he hadn't done any of it. And now he's dead. He's dead Jace..." Alec was forcing himself not to cry. It was extremely difficult. Clenching his fists, Alec tried to release his tension.
"I know you and Magnus will have spoken about this, so I'll keep my response brief." Jace began; he was still sat in the exact same spot, his back perfectly straight. "No, Max hadn't lived his life. But if you'd have died in his place, what good would have come from it?" He asked. He was trying hard not to provoke a violent response from Alec, but his attempts proved fruitless.
"He would still be alive, Jace! He would still be here!" Alec yelled. Jace kept his voice level and completely calm.
"But, you would be gone. Magnus would be alone and I don't want to know what happens when the Parabatai bond breaks." Jace was Alec's voice of reason; he always had been when Alec had doubted himself.
"Magnus... Alone..." Alec shook his head. "No I... I need to be with Magnus. Magnus can't be alone. No... No I need to be with Magnus." Alec was rambling, his thoughts were clashing. One part of him still wished he'd have died in Max's place, and one part was imagining what would've happened if he had died. Jace knew to leave him be. He didn't make a sound until Alec had sorted himself out. "I need Magnus. Magnus needs me. We need each other." Alec continued, it appeared that the side that was imagining what would've happened if he had died was winning. Though Jace knew it wouldn't be permanent. Before too long he'd start doubting himself again, but for now Alec was calming.
"Yes Alec. You and Magnus need each other. Now, I'm not going to go into the last point you made, as right now I think if you don't call Magnus you're going to have an emotional breakdown." Jace dug into his trouser pockets and produced a small key. "So, here is your key to Magnus' apartment. Training is over for today. But I expect to see you here tomorrow." Alec took the key from Jace.
"But I didn't win the fight..." Jace laughed at Alec's honour.
"No, neither of us did. But you won the mental fight, and that's what matters." Jace said, standing up off of the floor. He stretched and started making his way out of the training room.
"Thank you Jace." Alec called after him. "I'll make sure Magnus makes your snake into a dagger again." Jace smiled and put his thumb up behind his back.
"You're a good guy Alec." Jace said as the door closed.