Tick Tock - Time's Running Out

Tick Tock (8)

Without further ado, Tiffany grabbed a couple of peanuts and shoved them up her nostrils.  I shrugged my shoulders, still acting casual and proceeded in to the kitchen to see my Mum and Dad.

But there was only one thing I could think about as I told my parents about school: Tiffany was amazing.  I really hoped that Jamie and Tiffany would continue mucking about, because I really liked this girl.  In fact, Tiffany was exactly the type of girl I wanted to marry.

I couldn’t believe it.  Finally, I could admit it to myself something I had been denying to others for years: I was falling for the girl who when I first met her was shoving peanuts up her nose.  I was falling for the girl who tried to shave her eyebrows with her dad's razor. What idiot would fall for the girl who tried to wash the cat with Fairy Liquid?

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, trying hard not to laugh at Tiffany who had turned round when she had heard me enter. She was still as gorgeous as she had been three years previously, when I had first met her.  She had just blossomed in beauty, and I had come to the conclusion that she was utterly perfect in every way.

However, today her tanned face was covered in soap spuds.  She looked like Father Christmas with spuds thickly covering her eyebrows and a large soap spud beard.  Her cheeks were rather red, as if she was really embarrassed – although that couldn’t be true, seeing as we were talking about Tiffany Gold.

“The cat was dirty,” I heard her mutter under her breath.  I looked around her and managed to see my cat, shivering in the sink, covered in soap spuds too.  Then I noticed Tiffany was holding a bottle of Fairy Liquid in her hand.

“The cat was dirty,” I repeated, incredulously.  “The cat.  Was dirty.”  I paused.  “So you washed it – in Fairy Liquid?”

“Yeah,” she muttered, blushing brighter red.

“Oh, well, just so long as I got that straight!  I mean, how silly would it have been to wash the cat in cat SHAMPOO that lives right beside the Fairy Liquid!”

“Sorry,” she whispered, looking fearful.

“No – Tiffany, I’m not angry. Not in the least.  I think it’s pretty funny, actually!  You always know how to make me laugh…”

And, Tiffany could make me cheerful even when I was in the most dreadful moods.  She was an utter angel after my Mum died.  I hadn’t managed to cope as well as Dad and Jamie had.  But having Tiff around had been great, as she always knew exactly what to say.

“Just fuck off! All of you!” I screamed as I stormed into my room and slammed the door closed behind me.  I threw myself on to my bed, feeling utterly hopeless and sorry for myself.  But I would not cry.  I couldn’t.  I thought I’d be able to manage it, at the funeral, or when I was told she wasn’t here anymore.  But I was just… numb. I couldn’t feel anything.  I didn’t want to feel.  I wanted to be this numb creature for the rest of my life, and not have to withstand the pain of loosing someone I loved so much.

Someone opened my door quietly and crept into bed behind me.  I didn’t know who it was, but it was someone warm and someone who smelt delicious.

“Fuck off,” I muttered.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that, Robbie Black,” said a female voice.  “I won’t tolerate it.  Especially when I’ve come up here to try to help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” I told her stubbornly.

“You clearly do, Robbie.  Jamie and Dad told me that you haven’t cried, and that’s what’s wrong!” she said. I realised now that it was Tiff who was in my bed with me as she regularly called Dad ‘Dad’ due to the fact her Dad was hardly ever around or paid any attention to her.

Tiffany sat up and studied me hard.  Then she said, with knowledge past her years: “you need to mourn so you can move on, Robbie.  You’ll never get over it – over her – if you don’t recognise the feeling of loss.”

“I don’t want to feel!” I yelled, jumping out of bed and rounding on her.  “I don’t want to recognise the fact that she’s gone and she’s never coming back!  I don’t want to move on with my life!  I don’t want to live in a world where I don’t have my Mum!”

Tiff stayed quiet for a minute, taking it all in, before she replied very quietly: “come here.”  She opened her arms wide, inviting me in for a hug. I walked slowly back to my bed and sat down beside her as she wrapped her arms around me, enveloping me in what seemed like a motherly kind of hug.  And I broke.

As I cried on her shoulder, she gently rubbed my back with her hand and soothed me, telling me everything would be okay, and I had to continue with my life.

“Do something great, Robbie.  Be someone great.  Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to be so disheartened by her death.”

I nodded silently, still choking back tears as I tried to stop the flow of hot water running down my face from my tear ducts.

That’s when I got really involved in Drama, because my Mum loved me acting.  She used to come to see all my school shows, and she told me that if I wanted to, I could become the next Orlando Bloom, Johnny Depp, George Clooney or David Tennant.  Mum loved David Tennant.  And it was all down to Tiffany Gold, because she knew what to say.  I loved her, and I’d have to tell her one day.  But the thing is, with all Tiffs beauty, would I ever pluck up the courage and tell her what I was feeling?

Well – no time like the present!

“Tiff!” I yelled, jumping off the sofa and running up the stairs, into Jamie’s room without knocking.

“Yeah, babe!” Tiff said, and I was taken aback.  She was sitting on Jamie’s bed with her legs crossed, looking at me and grinning.  She waved, so I waved back.  “I know what you mean,” she continued, and I looked puzzled.  What did she mean, she knows what I mean?  I didn’t say anything.

Tiff saw my puzzled look and pointed to her ear, where she held her sleek, black mobile phone.  She was on the phone.

“Yeah, I miss you too,” she said, rolling her eyes. “That sounds great!  See you when you get back then. Love you!”  She hung up and told me: “that was Kevin.  He’s away to America, so he won’t be back for a couple weeks.  He’s so clingy!  He’s phoning me practically every hour, and wasn’t best pleased when he found out I was going to Olivia’s party.  He’s told me not to go, so I’ve implied that I’m not going, but that’s lies.  I won’t miss out on an Olivia party.  He’s been to tonnes without me, so now it’s my turn!”

The clingy-ness would explain Tiff’s eye rolling, and suddenly my heart sunk. Kevin.  I wouldn’t ruin a relationship when Tiff and Kevin were so clearly in love.  I couldn’t do it to Tiffany, knowing that it would hurt her, just so she knew that I loved her.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Tiffany asked, bringing me back to Earth.

“Yeah,” I said.  “I’m sorry for insulting you earlier.  I didn’t mean anything by it.  I just don’t want my baby sister to grow up.”

“It’s cool, Robbie.  I understand.  I’m sorry I went crazy at you earlier, it was out of order.”

We exchanged a brief hug before I went downstairs again to stew in self-pity before Jamie came home, and I’d have to play the happy (yet protective) brother.  After a while, I decided to do something productive, so I found some paper and a pen and wrote a list forbidding Jamie to do certain things at Olivia’s party.

Then, after that was finished, I used a scrap bit of paper to doodle love hearts and TG on it, just like a lovestruck teenage girl would do for a celebrity.

I also spent time thinking carefully about my situation and feelings for Tiffany Gold and came to the conclusion that declaring my love for her could make things very awkward at rehearsals for Peter Pan, and I didn’t want that.

However, I couldn’t wait to start work on the ‘thimble’ scene!