YES! An actual update guys! I think I just experienced a 'writers block' for the first time.. I hope it doesn't happen again..
LY GUYS PLS DON'T HATE ME 💗
I sigh out and look at the ceiling. Jade's downstairs making breakfast. She told me that I could lay down for a little while longer. She told me not to worry. I fold my hands and look down when my neck is getting painful. My legs are underneath a big Disney blanked. I suppose she put it on me. She has the biggest heart.
I put my feet on the ground and push the blanked off me. I borrowed an oversized dress from Jade as a pajama. But for me it barely is an oversized shirt. My bare feet walk over to the door what leads me to the hallway upstairs. I walk down the stairs to the kitchen. She's just finishing the pancakes and putting them on the table. "Good morning Jeed" I say with a smile. My hand roams through my hair while walking over to her and giving her a quick hug. "Heya! Just in time! Did you sleep well?" She says gently. "Slept amazing" I say with a friendly and thankful smile. I always sleep better when I'm here. I guess it's because of her. She comforts me. "Good" She says while putting the plates on the table beside us.
"Thank you for making breakfast" I say while sitting down. She looks at me and smirks. "I know how much you love food" She giggles. Would it sound weird if i'd say that her giggle is like a beautiful melody into my ears?
I still have to decide what 'move' I'm gonna make. It probably would be the only one I'll do in a while. So it needs to be enough. But not too much for her to find it weird.
I have to think this through. She turns around and walks over to the sink, turning her back to me. I look at the table and see that the syrup is missing. I walk over to the cabinet and try to find it. "baba, where is the syrup?" I say.
She turns around and squishes herself between me and the kitchen counter. Then it happened on it's own. I put my hands on either of her sides and lock her in. She stands on her toes to grab the syrup and turns around. She just now notices the closeness between us. It's silence. I look down at her lips and harshly bite my own.
She breathes heavily. My eyes meet hers as I move my hand over to her cheek. Our faces seem to be less far apart every second. She does the unexpected. Het bottom lip gets bitten. I've never seem something so sexy. I can't tolerate this one. I open my mouth to say something. Neither of us moves. "Fuck it" I hiss to myself. I lock the space between us. I crash my lips agains hers. Her soft lips touch mine. It feels magical. It feels so fucking amazing. I want her. I want Jade Thirlwall and I'm not giving up.
Then her hands touch my chest. She pushes me away. Her eyes are wide open. Her lips are plumped and red. "W-what the.." She says.
"Fuck. Jade I'm sorry! I shouldn't of done that!" What have I done!? She hates me!
"You need to leave" She bluntly says. I can't read the expressions on her face. There are none. She looks at me blankly.
"Jade let me explain, please" I try to. "No, leave" She pushes herself out of my grip. "Jad-" What am I supposed to do!?
"Leave my fucking house Perrie!" She yells. I turn silent. I ruined everything. Why the fuck did I do this!?
"I'm sorry.." I whisper. I grab my coat and leave. It doesn't matter that It's freezing out there and I'm just in short pajamas. I need to leave. She throws the door close behind my back. I hear her sit down against the door the second it closes.
I walk towards the park. The park I saw her after one of the first days of school. Where she showed me her beautiful spot. That magical moment. After a couple minutes I sit down on our bench.
I sigh and fold my hands. It's so fucking cold but I don't bother. The snow underneath my feet somehow doesn't really exist right now. It doesn't bother me.
I ruined our friendship. She hates me. The only person I truly love, hates me.
I get it though. She must be in shock right now. I would of been if my best friend suddenly was stupid enough to kiss me.
But oh my god her lips.. her soft lips against mine.. my hand touches my lips. It feels like my lips still burn from the memory. My mind is all over the place. I feel so stupid for actually kissing her. But I'm also happy that I did it. I can't live with 'only being friends'. I just can't stop myself anymore. I want her. I want to be with her. She's the one. She is the one I want to kiss and hold. I have to stand behind my decisions. Maybe this one wasn't the best.
But I can't pretend like nothing happened. I can't pretend that I didn't want this. I mean, how many times did I dream of this! Oh my god this was way better than in my dreams.. ugh. I look at the lake in front of me.
I really fucked up this time.
💢⭕️💢
Oh oh Perrie.. what did you do!?
What do you think is the reason Jade pushed away?
Xxxx
