Dream, my little mate

Chapter:3

Akai POV

I woke up in a cold sweat. I had been waking up like this for the past month now. I would have my dreams, get rejected, then I'd wake up.

Every night after my dream I would jump out of my sleep, there would be tears in my eyes and I'd be breathing harshly. Every time I saw her beautiful face I just wanted to hug and kiss her, but she would never let me get close enough. I have tried every time I had my dreams to convince her to come find me, but she always refused.

Was I not good enough?
Was I not strong enough?
Was I not good-looking?

I would always question myself, trying to figure out why she didn't want me. She did always seem scared... maybe she was a rouge and she could feel that I was an Alpha and she didn't want that. But then again I could also sense that she was apart of a pack and of higher rank.

Last night was the first time I've ever really touched her and held her close to my body. She relaxed for a short second before she was up and running away again. I didn't want to die, I'm sure she doesn't want to die either, so why is she playing these games with me.

I sighed and ran a sweaty hand through my short brown hair. I slowly got out of bed and put on a shirt. My pack members had started noticing the difference in my mood recently, but I couldn't help the depression, worthlessness, disappointment, and sadness I felt. Every time I thought about her I would instantly be sad, that wouldn't change unless she finally gave in and let me be her mate in real life.

I made sure that nobody knew I was having my dreams. First; I'm older than most werewolves when they get their dreams, so people might think I'm not fit to be Alpha. Second; my mate didn't want me and that's the most embarrassing thing a wolf could experience. Third; I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me, I was an Alpha, so I'm suppose to be strong and I don't need people looking at me with sympathy.

I slowly walked to my master bathroom and started the shower. I looked in the mirror at myself, which is something I didn't do too often these days; my green eyes had become dull and lifeless, my tanned skin had became paler, my face wore a frown, instead of a smile like it use to... everything about me just became duller and sad. I didn't care though, it's not like I have anything to live for anyway.

I stripped out of my clothes, then I got into the shower. The steaming hot water helped dissolve my anger surprisingly. I slowly washed my hair and body, then I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I walked into my closet and grabbed a pair of jogging pants and a white T-shirt. I sighed, then I walked down stairs to have breakfast with my pack.

My pack wasn't super big- there was about 100 wolves in my pack and all the big packs had over 1000 wolves in their pack. We've been getting a few threats from rouges, so I've been going to bigger packs trying to get their help, but most of them don't want to help. I've been so stressed with trying to keep my pack safe and dealing with my mate. It's times like this that I wish I would've stayed in my fathers pack and just married the She-wolf that he had picked for me. Today I had more important things to think about other than my pathetic life though.

"Good morning, Alpha Kai." Everybody said it in sync, I nodded my head and moved to sit at the head of the table.

"So, we're going to the Willow Creek Pack today?" My Beta looked up at me as he poured syrup on his waffles. I simply nodded my head and grabbed a piece of bacon.