Chapter 22 ➳ For Glenn Rhee

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• Hello, everyone 👋🏻 I just wanted to put this author's note up for you to read before you go on with the chapter... For Christmas this past year, I received TWD S7 on DVD — which is exactly what I needed and wanted. I needed it for this story — and I wanted it for my pleasure and to go along with all the other 6 DVD's that I have of TWD. Now, with that said... I haven't even TOUCHED the S7 DVD set yet. (IKR?!) It's what I wanted and needed, but... I can't do it. I legitimately CAN'T bring myself to put in the DVD player and/or laptop to watch it. I'm scared to do it 'cause that WHOLE SEASON was too emotional for me to get through. I BARLEY made it out alive. So, with that said, instead of going play by play of the show, I wanted to do yet ANOTHER chapter of something that I have made-up from my mind to fit in this little story. I'm thinking that the next chapter will be the one where Carl (and Jesus) pay a VISIT to the Sanctuary. That is when I will FINALLY put the DVD in to watch and pick back up with the REAL stuff. Tess is gonna be a KEY member when it comes to Carl and Jesus — 'cause, like... She loves Carl (like a little brother) and has to protect him, no matter what, and Jesus is her twin brother, so... I'm sorry that this has been SO LONG. I am so sorry. So, bare with me for this chapter and the next should be better... 🙃 Yet, this one WILL be pretty sad, though, so prepare yourselves 😭 All the love .xx •

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The days went by...

I was starting to lose my mind a bit.

Everything from obeying Negan's every order to protecting Daryl at all costs to trying to avoid Dwight altogether... I was losing myself — and who I've always been.

If Don was alive right now and seen how quickly I fell to the enemy, he would just so ashamed of me. He probably wouldn't even be able to look at me, unless it was with disgust.

Most days, I find myself locked away in my room — unless I'm due to do something else for Negan. Every night, before I lay my head to go to sleep, I'm up and writing in my personal journal. I keep it under the mattress, so that nobody will hopefully not find it.

I don't necessarily start off every new page with Dear Diary, but I do write in it every night to keep myself sane. I write letters, poems, and scribble some drawings down, too. I have written a letter to each person back at home, even Glenn and Abraham, too.

Every time that I go to write one for Maggie, though... I can't seem to do it. I can't place that pen onto paper without crying. Not even writing those letters to the dead gets me like this. I feel guilt every time that I think of Maggie — and her unborn child, too.

The way that she reacted when I was being dragged away... She cared about me and my safety. Yet, every time that her back was turned, I was undressing her husband with my eyes. There's only one way to put it...

I was in love with Glenn Rhee.

I want to put that in the letter that I could probably give her one day, but she'll never forgive me, though. She won't ever forget, no matter what happens. She'll always look to me with disgust and hatred, and I can't live the rest of my life with that. Yet, somehow, I can't let this guilt go until I finally confess to her.

What would I say to her, though? Dear Maggie, I'm sorry that I was in love with your husband. I hope that you take care. Sincerely, Tess. That's bull-crap.

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