Finding Love Again

Prologue-Part 2

The day of the funeral finally arrived. Steve hadn't been able to sleep well since he found out about Peggy's death. All he could see when he closed his eyes was Peggy's brown hair, her beautiful red lips. He still couldn't accept the fact that she was dead. Yesterday was one of the longest days in his life. He didn't know how many more "I'm sorry for your loss" he could take. Seeing Peggy in the coffin was very surreal. She looked peaceful, like when she was asleep, but the crude reality that she wasn't sleeping but was dead was very hard to face.

When Steve's alarm clock rang at seven in the morning, he had just barely drifted into a light sleep. He groaned and turned off the alarm. He didn't know if he could do this. He had to once again bury someone he loved. He lay in bed a little while longer before deciding to get up. He took a quick shower and put on his uniform. He would have skipped breakfast if it wasn't for his growling stomach.

At eight thirty, Sam Wilson and Bucky both arrived at Steve's house. Since Bucky had a spare key, they went in without knocking.

"Steve, are you in here man?" Sam called out from the entrance. No response came, so they decided to just look around the house. They found Steve in his room sitting on the edge of his bed with his hands covering his face. His shoulders were lightly shaking.

"Hey, Steve, are you okay?" Bucky asked, coming closer to him. Steve looked up at both Bucky and Sam. His eyes were all red from crying, and he had dark bags under his eyes.

"I can't do this," he said in a shaky voice. "I can't go to that funeral and watch as my wife is being lowered to the ground. I just can't!"

"We'll be right beside you Steve. Remember our saying? I'm with you 'til the end of the line. That includes now. You don't have to face this alone."

"Bucky's right, Steve. You will have friends all along the way supporting you. You're not alone."

"Come on, punk. We'd better get going. The service starts in an hour."

Steve sighed. "Yeah, I'll be right there. I just need a minute."

"We'll be waiting for you in the car, and you'd better come," Sam told him.

When Sam and Bucky had left his room, he stood up and went to the bathroom to splash water on his face. Looking at himself in the mirror, he could see how bad he looked, but he couldn't care less about his appearance right now. With that he locked up the house and got in the car.

The ride to the church was a very quiet one. Steve was miles away and lost in thought. Bucky and Sam glanced at him every now and then to see if he was holding up all right.

The funeral service passed by smoothly. Family and friends spoke about Peggy in the sweetest way, but Steve couldn't bear listening to it. For him, it seemed like it was making the pain even worse. When he was called up to speak, he couldn't make himself get up. He couldn't get up there in front of everyone to talk about his wife. How could he when he was away most of the time they were married? Did he even know her so well as to say something nice about her?

Bucky noticed that he wasn't moving, so he said that he wasn't able to speak.

The hardest part was the burial. Steve knew that the moment the coffin was lowered it would make it all real. He wasn't prepared to face life without her. He needed her. He needed Peggy by his side to raise their three year old daughter. Being in the military for most of his daughter's life, he didn't know the slightest thing about parenting.

After the burial, Steve stayed at Peggy's grave for a little while longer. He just stood there staring for some minutes. He knew he couldn't stay there forever. His friends were waiting for him. Before leaving, he crouched down and whispered, "I love you." With that, he kissed the tombstone and left. His heart was completely shattered. Nothing would ever be the same again. Despite this awful truth, he had to keep going. He had to rise up to the challenge of raising a child by himself. His little girl needed him. Margaret Olivia Rogers needed her daddy. He needed to be strong for her no matter how much it hurt.

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