Winter Day || kth ❄

Chapter 10: Hold Me Tight

Wednesday, May 31th. 9:54 PM. 20°C

Tae's POV

Me [7:38]: You should've seen their faces when we performed Go Go live. 

Me [7:38]: I think it's one of my favourite songs to do live, it's such a fun choreography. 

Mi [9:05]: Hahaha it is, I can still remember your faces the first time you did it. 

Mi [9:07]: Long day ahead? 

Me [9:08]: When has it been a short day since the tour? Yes, long day. 

I smiled at my phone as I thought about Mi back home.  It was weird to think that she had been a part of my life for such a short time but she was already one of the most important persons in it. We all missed her presence, I could tell. Specially Jimin. 

I had started texting Mi again after my talk with Namjoon. It was weird at first and she looked worried about me in our first few conversations, but we were back to normal. We would even sometimes Skype together. 

I was also doing much better. I still had some episodes where I felt really sad, but everyone was always there for me, they were so supportive. It was also easier to talk to Mi because I wouldn't see her with Jimin, it felt like back in the old days when we would just laugh about random things.

"How are you doing today?" Jungkook asked me, "we were wondering if you were ready to go." 

I was staring at the view from the balcony. The weather was beautiful and sunny. 

"I'm feeling fantastic, let's go kill it, we still have a few songs left," I said while pulling some karate moves. 

"Yeah!" Jungkook said doing the same. 

He smiled at me happily, I could tell that he was happy to see me doing better.

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"Dolla Dolla," I sang as I jogged around the guys while pulling weird faces. 

We were just getting ready to go on stage. 

"Tae, you're so weird, I love it," Jin laughed. 

Jimin put his arm around my shoulders, which looked really weird since he was shorter than me, "it's so good to have you back TaeTae." 

I exhaled, "It's good to be back Chimchim". 

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"That was such a great show!" Hoseok said excitedly. He kept jumping around.

"We killed it, the energy, everything was just so wow!" Jimin said, jumping around too.

"It was so great I wanna get on again!" I said jumping around as well.

"Aren't you guys ever tired?" Jin said, looking exhausted.

"I'd have to agree, I'm pretty tired," Jungkook said.

"Thank you for always sticking by my side, guys," I said, "this has been a very tough year for me in many ways, yet you guys never gave up on me. I love you all."

"How can we give up on our Taetae?" Jungkook said as he gave me a hug, "we're very glad you're back". 

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After a great show and some fan meeting, we were finally back at the hotel. I was exhausted, it was already 2 am and we had to get up early the next day. But I was also very hungry. 

Namjoon was already fast asleep as I took some cookies that I found lying in the counter. They were probably Namjoon's. Or at least, I hoped they were. 

Me [2:06]: Are you awake? 

It was worth a shot. 

Mi [2:06]: It's like 7 pm here, of course I'm awake. 

Me [2:06]: This might sound weird but can we video talk? 

Me [2:06]: I'm eating all alone and I hate that. 

Incoming call from Mi. 

I smiled as I answered. 

She looked very tired, I hadn't seen her in a long time but she looked abnormally exhausted. 

"Yes, I look tired," she said, noticing my silence and concerned look. 

"Why don't you go sleep?" I asked, worried as I ate my ramen because yes I was in America but somehow all I was craving was ramen. 

I had been so focused on myself that I had never thought of asking how she was really doing herself. I knew she fought with Jimin every once in a while, but they seemed to be doing well. 

She looked down, she didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it. 

"What's wrong?" I asked. I was starting to get worried. 

"It's nothing don't worry. I've just been having some trouble sleeping. Bad dreams," she said, "but please, tell me about the show. I heard it was great, I was talking to Jimin a few minutes ago." 

Insomnia. Bad dreams. I knew all about that. I had suffered from insomnia after learning of my friend's death. It was hard to go to bed without crying and somehow my body wouldn't sleep, even if I felt terribly tired. 

I started to wonder if maybe she knew him. The possibility was there, we did come from the same neighbourhood and her parents had moved next to mine.

I instantly felt a pang in my heart at the thought of my friend. I did my best to try to hide it.

"The show was great, the energy was amazing," I said, "you never told me how you became my neighbour back home." 

She smiled, "Tae we've known each other for a while now and you ask now?"

I laughed. I did know a bit of the story because I had asked my parents, but I had never asked her directly. 

"It was my grandfather's house. He passed away and my dad was very attached to that property, he grew up there and we would always visit my grandfather to help him with his farm. We lived close by." she said, getting emotional, "long story short, we gave our house to one of my uncles and we moved to my grandfather's. It had better crops than our house anyway." 

My mother had told me the story and I always thought it was fascinating how we had never met each other before since she lived closed by and we would talk to her grandfather a lot. 

"Did we meet before?" I asked, "when we were kids?" 

She seemed to think hard about it. "I think I've seen you around, in a birthday probably. My neighbour back then was Jennie, I think you went to the same school as her. A couple of years younger than us" 

Jennie. 

I looked at her, a few tears forming in my eyes. "So you knew him too, didn't you?" 

She looked taken aback by my statement. Tears starting coming out of her eyes. "I'm sorry I don't mean to cry," she said as she cried even harder, "he was my neighbour. We would play games when we were children together. I just can't believe. I went to see Jennie yesterday that's why I look so bad. He was such a good guy, how could this have happened Tae?" 

Tears started coming out of my eyes as well, "I've thought about it a lot and I've realized that there are some things that you just can't explain. He had his reasons, I just hope he's in a better place now." 

She cried even harder. She was obviously having a rougher time than me, since she had known him for a longer time. I didn't know how to comfort her or comfort myself anymore. 

"I wish I could be there to hold you" I finally said. 

She smiled faintly, "that would've been nice."