Letter 56

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Dear Yoongi,

You had came over to my house today and I know I saw you in the hospital not that long ago but, today was the first day the fact you have cancer actually occurred to me.

It happened when your nose started to bleed. I thought nothing of it and had given you some tissues. You thanked me and put them on your nose to stop it.

But, it didn't stop. It had been like five minutes and you now had a pile of bloody tissues sitting next to you. I was sat staring at you, trying to figure out what to do. You looked over at me at one point with a dazed look.

I put my hands on your shoulders to help support you.

"Yoongs, what's wrong?" I said quickly. You looked at me and began to shiver violently. I quickly pulled my comforter up and over you before wrapping you into my arms. You kept shivering violently as you pulled the tissue down to look at it. It was still stained red.

I got you a new tissue again and you placed it against your nose and leaned your head over onto my shoulder.

"Jungkookie?" Your voice was quiet and raspy, as if you were gasping for air.

"Yes baby?" I rubbed your sides as I tried warming you back up.

"I am going to die. I am going to die and leave you and I don't want to." Tears began running down your face and mine.

"No, darling. Don't say that. You are going to make it through this and we will be able to live together forever." You shook your head and pulled the tissue away from your nose.

"Don't you get it, Jungkook?! It won't stop bleeding!" I had to look away from you and to the wall.

"Yoongi, please."

"No, you need to realize that as much as we want to always be together, I am going to die. I need you. I really do. But I also need you to not need me. I can't leave knowing I am leaving you in pain. So please, just, stay close but forget about me. I'm just not worth it."

I brushed your hair away from your face and grabbed the sides of your face as gently as I could.

"Shut up. Just, I know. I know you aren't going to die of old age. I know there is a chance you won't even be here another month. But, I don't care. I have already fallen in love with you and there is no going back. Whether we stop before or after, it is going to hurt like hell. I am going to lose the biggest part of me and there is nothing I can do about. So for right now, stop pushing me away. Stop feeling sorry about the fact that you have an illness that you are unable to control. I am desperately in love with you, nothing can change that."

Your nose had finally stopped bleeding so you threw the tissue into my trash can. There was still some red on your face but you would have to actually wash it off since it was dried.

I didn't care though. I kept a gentle hold of your face as I pushed my lips against yours. We kissed slowly for a little bit before getting a little more heated. I had pushed you back down onto my bed and softly pressed myself into you.

Your arms wrapped around my neck and mine went to right beside your hips.

Honestly, we did make out for a while. During that time we forgot about everything. It was like the cancer ate itself away and the world slowed down time just for us.

When we had finally pulled away, your face was dusted with a faint pink color and your lips were swollen.

"Jungkook." You whispered. I leaned down closer to you.

"Yoongi." You took a couple breathes before replying back.

"Can we be boyfriends?" I smiled down at you and pecked your lips again.

"Of course." When I pulled away you were smiling again. I don't think I have ever saw you that happy before.

Min Yoongi, when are you going to realize that you are everything to me?

~Kookie

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