Shelter • wolfstar au

37 ; chaos

"Damnit, Remus, where does your father live?" Sirius yelled, shaking him by the shoulders, as though trying to shake away his frozen state. He told him the name of the place, and in the next moment, he was whirling through space, and suddenly he was in the countryside.

"Go to your father's house!" Sirius ordered. "And stay there. You can't return to your house for at least a month."

Finally, Remus managed to overcome his shock and he grabbed Sirius by the arms, pulling him back. "What about you? When are you coming back?"

"When we've warded them off," he answered impatiently. "Now let go! I have to go."

Remus removed his hands, and then Sirius was gone.

He didn't go to his father's house. It had taken him about ten minutes to recognise the place he was in, and he knew it was quite a few kilometres away from where his father lived. He decided to stay in the area in case Sirius returned and didn't find him.

It was the countryside, and the crisp snow here was fresher than the one that had enveloped Moonwood Place. With a hollow feeling in his heart, he walked around, hands deep in his pockets and a terrible ache in his chest that acted as a constant reminder of how he'd treated Sirius. He felt his eyes blurring, the thought of Sirius not returning making his heart twist terribly. Ten minutes passed. Twenty. Thirty. An hour. He considered going to his father's house. But then he shoved off the idea.

Fifteen more minutes. Could Sirius have been killed? But then Nathan would have arrived to give him the news. Maybe he was too lost in grief to remember him.

Another fifteen minutes, and Remus grew restless. Why wasn't he returning?

A full two hours passed, and finally he heard the crack sound he's been waiting to hear. He wheeled around, and found Sirius standing opposite him, covered in dust and blood and bruises. But he was standing, he was breathing. He was alive. With a huge sigh of relief, he sprinted down the sloping land and crashed into Sirius. His eyes burned with tears and his whole body ached with exhaustion, but all that mattered to him now was Sirius, Sirius, Sirius.

He didn't know how much time elapsed. A decade could have passed for all he cared. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around Sirius's body, ran his hands over his back, through his hair, trying to make sure that he really was alive, and not a phantom that his subconscious mind has created to satisfy his grief stricken self. He kissed him on his forehead, his nose, his cheeks - his both cheeks - and finally moved away when Sirius put up his hands and gently pushed him back.

"I'm fine, Remus, don't worry."

There was something in his voice that made Remus stop. "Nathan and Marlene?" he asked in a hoarse whisper, suddenly realising that he was crying.

"They're okay too."

He stared at Sirius. That was when he realised the suitcase in his hands. "What's that for?"

"You're going to stay here," he answered quietly, handing it over to his outstretched hand. "You're gonna need this. We packed some of your things for you."

The reality suddenly crashed into Remus. He already didn't have a job, and now he didn't have a home either. It was probably taken over by the death eaters, and even if it wasn't, he still couldn't return.

But then why wasn't he worried about it?

"What about you?" he asked in a shaky whisper. He didn't want Sirius to answer, for he knew what he would say, and he knew he didn't want to hear it. He placed the suitcase on the ground and held Sirius's arms. "Are you going to stay here too?"

He shook his head. "We'll find some other place to live."

Suddenly Remus felt desperate. He lowered his head so that he could look directly into Sirius's eyes. "No, you don't have to," he said frantically, voice shaking but held a firmness that surprised even himself. "You can stay here. My father - he'll understand. He'll be fascinated by the existence of wizards. He'd love to have you with us. He loves guests. Please, Sirius. Bring Marlene and Nathan as well. You don't have to go anywhere."

But he knew his pleadings were fruitless, for from the moment he had opened his mouth Sirius was shaking his head. He lifted his hands and cupped Remus's face gently. "I don't want to put you in anymore danger. You'll be safe here. No death eaters will come for you."

"I don't want to be safe."

Remus wasn't sure where his newfound recklessness has come from - maybe it was a courtesy of Sirius - but he didn't care. He didn't want to stay in the safehouse of his father, he didn't want to hide like a coward while Sirius fought against evil with every chance of getting killed. He wanted to be the one to comfort Sirius after every battle, to encourage him to continue fighting, to heal and treat his wounds, to hold him in his arms and whisper things in his ears that would allow him to see light amidst all the darkness. Wasn't that exactly what he had been doing all along, albeit unknowingly?

He stubbornly kept hold of Sirius's shoulders, knowing that he couldn't disappear like that. Sirius looked frantic.

"Please, Remus," he pleaded. "Don't do this. Just - just go. I have to go and join the fight. I don't want to put you in danger. I don't want to put your father in danger."

"Then take me with you," Remus stated firmly. "I'll be safe with you. I'll stay with you, wherever you go. I don't want to leave you alone."

Sirius was horrified at the mere idea. He shook his rapidly, several times. "No no no. That's not possible. Remus, stop this nonsense. Go to your house and let me leave."

But he clung on to his arms desperately like a dog. "You won't come back if you leave now, I know that. Please. I beg you. Don't you want us to be together, Sirius?"

Sirius remained silent. Their eyes met, and Remus could see the helplessness in his silver irises, the worry etched into each wrinkle of his bruised face. He draped his arms around Sirius's waist and slowly touched his forehead with his, closing his eyes. "Please let me come with you," he whispered.

Sirius leaned in to his touch, kissing him softly on the nose. "I can't, Remus. You - you're a muggle."

His eyes flew open. "What do you mean by that?"

Sirius suddenly pulled away and stepped back. He looked at Remus, eyes burning with fire. He was trying to release himself of Remus's hold, but he stubbornly clung on. "What do you mean by that, Sirius?" he repeated his question, strongly this time. Sirius avoided his eyes.

"You're a muggle, Remus," he spoke finally. "You can't protect yourself. You'll only be a burden to us."

Remus felt like somebody had spilled cold water all over his body. His fingers let go of Sirius's waist of their own accord, and his feet moved a few steps back. "You don't mean that," he whispered.

"I mean it," Sirius answered firmly.

He gazed at Sirius for a few more seconds to make sure that he wasn't lying, hoping that he would take his words back, that he would suddenly start laughing and say that he was joking, but it didn't happen. Sirius stared at him defiantly, jaws set and hands clenched into tight fists by his side. Remus swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, but it kept coming back, and with overwhelming effort he prevented his tears from spilling out.

"Okay then," he said several minutes later, voice unusually hollow, but surprisingly steady. "Whatever you say. Good luck to you. I hope you defeat Voldemort."

He turned and picked his suitcase up. For a few wild moments, he thought - he hoped - that Sirius would come up behind him and hug him, say that Remus could go with him, apologise for being stupid.

Then a sharp crack was hard, and everything fell into a dreadful silence.

❇

i love you guys.😊

now excuse me while i plan how to punish sirius for his stupidity