Midnight

Spoken But Broken

*Justin's POV*

I was either half dead or half asleep when Erin came back for me.

It was hard to tell which one it was, due to the noticeable disorientation I felt.

She appeared solemn, and I asked if she was alright.

"Oh, I'm fine..." She smiled, but it was a distant gesture.

I wanted to question her until she told me, but instead decided not to press her.

She knelt by my side and retrieved a white roll that looked like toilet paper from her pocket.

"Justin, I want you to stay very still while I do this. All I'm going to do is wrap your chest with this gauze. It won't hurt, I promise," she explained to me.

Carefully, Erin lifted my shirt, her gaze landing on my toned abs.

She tried with clear effort to suppress the shock scrawled across her face, but I could see her blush after glimpsing my chest.

Her hands worked quickly; she unraveled the "gauze", circling it around my chest and back to cover the stab wound.

I tried my best to not to show it, but Erin's touch made me burst with emotion.

It was the very same feeling that I couldn't describe, the one that made me unexplainably happy.

I can't take this anymore.

I need to stop holding myself back.

If I don't say something to her now, later it may be too late.

I allowed her to finish wrapping my injury, then I seized her hands.

"Erin, there's something I really need to tell you," I said firmly.

"I have something I need to tell you too..." She answered.

"But you can go first."

I started to speak, scared of how she'd react to my confession.

"I...Erin, I don't know. When I'm around you, I feel so joyous and uplifted - like nothing could ever bring me down. But you can also make me anxious, as if one million butterflies were stuffed into my stomach. And I wonder if all humans can make me feel that way. I can't name this emotion, but all I know is that I enjoy it, and I enjoy you too. So please forgive me for this, but I couldn't resist any longer."

Throwing caution into the whirling tornado of my heart, I leaned towards Erin and I kissed her.

Without biting her.

She was genuinely surprised, but I felt more than relieved when she kissed me back.

"What am I feeling Erin?" I whispered to her curiously.

"Love," was her one worded answer.

For some reason, she began to cry after she said it.

"Love is what you're feeling Justin."

"Why are you crying?" I questioned.

Hopefully those were tears of happiness.

I didn't want her to be sad or upset.

I lifted a hand to her cheek and smiled reassuringly.

"What's wrong? You know you can tell me," I spoke softly and gently to her.

"I'm crying because..." She started.

"Well, I love you too Justin but...we can't keep doing this."

My smile fractured and slipped from my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my thoughts becoming frantic.

She looked up to face me, sadness etched all over her expression.

"Getting the bandages for you and leaving the woods made me realize how much I've deserted my life," she explained.

"My family must be out of their minds with worry right now, and I don't imagine that my friends are taking my absence too well either."

I stayed silent, listening intently.

"And I miss them all too. I do love you Justin, and I would thoroughly miss you if you were gone. But I can't keep doing this to the other people that I care about. It's just not right."

I searched her eyes for any hint of doubt, but there was nothing except assurance and a tiny sliver of fear.

It would be practically impossible to talk her out of leaving me with determination like that.

"I understand," I finally brought myself to say it.

"You loved your family and friends before you loved me, so it's only fair that you return to your normal life."

I wanted to play it cool, but I was really falling apart on the inside.

I don't own Erin, and I never will, but I can't help feeling like she's being taken away from me by the other people she cares about.

Being highly possessive is one of my worst traits, and though I've managed to keep it under control so far, it's starting to turn the tables and grab a hold of me.
-
Erin slept peacefully on my shoulder.

She told me that she couldn't go home so late at night, so she was staying with me until morning.

That made me feel better, especially when she snuggled next to me on the sofa.

I gently laid Erin's head on one of the sofa cushions and went upstairs.

Sitting on the railing of my balcony, I stared wonderously at the stars.

I always went up to the balcony to calm down, or just observe the scenery when I was bored.

But now was a perfect time to be up here, since I had a lot to think about.

My thoughts surfaced the new emotion that I had learned of earlier today.

Love...

I like that word.

That's the end of Part 17 :)
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