what i miss | kageyama tobio | angst

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"you're alone, you're on your own."

"tobio- it's okay- please- i-" you said, breaking into tears. you held the crying boy in your arms.

"it's not." he sobbed into your arms.

"i-"

"stop!"

"so what? have you gone blind? have you forgotten what you have and what is yours."

"i- i'm sorry." you stroked his head. he broke down in your arms once again.

"i miss you. i hate myself. i hate everything. i miss you. when are you coming back? when is everything coming back?"

"i'll be here okay?"

---

"glass half empty, glass half full."

"please don't be like this, tobio." you said, trying to get him to get out of his room.

"it will get better, i promise. but you need to stop being like this." he was going through so much you felt so bad trying to help. his eyes were never so watery, his lips were never trembling this much, he was never this quiet. he turned onto his side, away from you. you heard sobbing. where was he? he had changed. he was in a such depressive state it had ruined him. you teared up as you watched his body jerk with every sob.

"well either way you won't be going thirsty."

"i miss you." you said in barely a whisper before leaving his room. his world was crumbling in front of you. and he wouldn't let you build it up again.

---

weeks passed and tobio hadn't said even one word to you. your world started to crumble too. and he wasn't going to be there like always to build it up again and beyond.

you knocked on his door. he didn't reply.

"tobio- i-"

"go away."

"tobio please. i haven't held you in so long."

"count your blessings not your flaws."

"i can't open the door. it's not locked, come in."

you opened the door. you walked towards the again crying boy. his blue eyes had faded to grey. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

"i'm sorry for being such an asshole. i miss your pretty face a lot." his voice had gotten softer and weaker. you looked at his face. he was pale and had gotten thinner. his hair was messy and tangled and his smile was long gone. 

  "it's okay, i know you're going through a lot at the moment so please don't feel so stressed. i'm just waiting for you to smile again okay?" you wiped his tears from his eyes. you looked at his pillow. it was wet from his tears. you sat next to him on his bed. you kissed his head.

  "but if i smile, you'll smile and i'll miss your smile and i'll stop smiling." you felt his grip on you tighten.

  "don't stop smiling okay?"

"you've got it all, you lost your mind in the sound."

  "but- i can't play volleyball anymore, i can't hold you like i used to and i can't do what i used to." he sighed.

  "but you can love. love is blind, isn't it?" you grinned.

"there's so much more, you can reclaim your crown."

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