Eleven

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"Shit. I ate so many nachos that I probably put the nacho company out of business. They ran out of stock and now they can't keep up with demand which in turn makes their market share go down." Matthew stumbled across the sidewalk, practically leaning on an equally drunk Italian. What was his name again? Lollypop? Bimbo? Parmesan?
"Antonio, move your sweet sweet ass, mio amore."
"Move it with your mouth." Antonio slurred.
"I'm trying to but you won't listen, you bastard."
"I can't believe I'm saying this after all the shit I've done but I kinkshame you." Gilbert wagged his finger at Antonio accusingly.
"Shit...there's a cop car." Antonio gaped.
"Where?"
"Parked by that street light."
"Let's put the plan in action then." Antonio and Gilbert grinned mischievously at each other.
"You are not giving the cop a fake parking ticket. You got in big shit last time."
"Aw babe,"
"Awe Lovi!"
"It's getting late. You two need to get to bed before you end up naked in a Tim Hortons parking lot again." Lovino hissed.
"Well...my place is just around the corner..." Matthew suggested, regretting it instantly. Stupid drunk Matthew.
"Hell yeah! Do you have anymore booze?"
"I don't think so...maybe wine???"
"You two aren't getting any more drunk tonight." Lovino scolded. "But I will accept the offer of wine."
"It's not my wine..."
"You have roommates?" Gilbert asked, dropping his arm over Matthew's shoulders and pulling him away from Lovino.
"I guess you could call them that." Matthew averted his eyes. At the very least, his parents looked young enough...
"Woah shit! This place is huge!" Antonio gasped as they came around the corner. "I'm gonna break stuff and pee on a window."
"Please do not."
"Could you guys...maybe be quiet in there...people like to sleep in there and it's already late."
"Ja! I'm getting sleepy anyway."
"That's because you drank ten beers."
"Weak. I had twelve." Matthew bragged.
"Yeah, about that, what the hell? You were chugging them down like it was nothing. I swear, I was aroused." Gilbert purred into Matthew's ear, sending shivers up the blond's spine.
"I'm glad my alcoholism turns you on." Matthew growled seductively.
"It does. We should totally get really loaded and pour whiskey on our dicks."
"I tried that once. Never again." Antonio recalled in horror.
"Hey, amore~ I have an idea for our anniversary!~"
"Oh hell no! Not in my lobby!"
"Okay guys shhhh. The children are sleeping." Matthew hissed as they approached the front door.
"Man, I've got to go to church in the morning. I'm gonna pistol whip anybody who wakes me up too early."
"Matthieu, where the hell were you?!" Francis greeted them at the door. "Who are these people? Are you drunk?!"
"Shhhhhhhhhh! I said the children are sleeping." Matthew put his fingers against Francis's lips. The Frenchman looked shocked.
"It's three in the morning."
"We'll be quiet." Matthew promised.
"Will we?~" Gilbert purred.
"Stoooooop!" Matthew giggled.
Francis sighed. "I don't want to see any of you out of your room tonight. Michelle has dance class in the morning and Peter has a soccer tournament."
"Whooooo the fuck plans that stuff on a Sunday?"
"Matthew, you're drunk. You and your friends need to sleep this off."
"Okie!" Matthew pulled Gilbert through the hallway, Antonio and Lovino following right behind him.
"Fuxk you have two whole beds?!" Gilbert was amazed. "That's like two places to have sex in!"
"One of them is my brother's." Matthew admitted. "He doesn't libve here anymore."
"So, like, was that your daddy?" Gilbert latched back onto Matthew as if he couldn't get enough. Matthew let him. He was warm and his touch was kind.
"He was my papa."
"Mmm that's a sexy title."
"Uhm...no he's my actual parent figure you're disgusting."
"Oh shit...you live with your parents?"
Oh shit.
"Uh...not really...I'm just staying here for a while."
"Man, if I could still live with my parents I would." Antonio sighed. "It's cool that they care about ya like that."
Matthew heaved a sigh of relief. "Yeah. I guess it is."
Gilbert dropped into Matthew's bed, curling up in the sheets.
"Mattie come in here with me."
"No way! You're drunk! You'll take advantage of me!"
"Yeah. Take advantage of your warm body."
"Maybe I'll take advantage of yours.~"
"Can you two shut the fuck up." Lovino was already tucked into Alfred's bed, Antonio wrapped around him like a tortilla.
"We can skip church tomorrow, Lovi~. All those old ladies just glare at our gay asses anyway."
"I show up to spite them. We've been through this." Lovino hissed. "Now turn out the lights."
Matthew nodded, drenching the room in darkness.
"Buon notte."
"Buenos noches."
"Gut naucht."
Matthew snickered, curling up in his own bed where the welcoming arms of a muscular Prussian albino awaited. God, he was warm.
"Bon nuit." He whispered, feeling more comfortable than he had in years.
Maybe he was pretty gay...

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