~Drarry one shots~

~the squad+ harrys lover boy~

A/n: I've always wanted to do a group chat one shot and I have ideas for ones in the future if u like this one.

Hermione: Hi guys. I felt this group chat would be a easy way for us to stay in contact, especially after leaving hogwarts! I miss you guys terribly and I hate living in this apartment alone.
Ron: k but I'm in charge of nicknames on here. Plus it worse staying here with my mother. She's constantly pestering me to get a job but I wanna relax for a bit.
*ron changes his name to the king*
*the king changes Hermione's nickname to smarty pants*
Smarty pants: really Ronald. Remind me to dump you.
The king: don't u dare underestimate the power of the king!
*the king changes Harry's name to arse face*
Smarty pants: wow. Alright then.
The king: speaking of arse face, where is he?
Smarty pants: I haven't heard from him since yesterday when he asked me how to cook a pizza from scratch.
The king: why the hell would he want to do that? I said to him that moving into an apartment without me would be too hard.
Smarty pants: you were the idiot who said you wanted to go live with your parents for a bit. Plus it sounded like he had someone special coming round cause he asked me how to do it without making any mess.
The king: HARRY POTTER YOU BETTER SEE THIS SOON AND ANSWER!!!

*some period of time later which now makes it night time*

Arse face: hey...
Smarty pants: HARRY! how'd the pizza go.
Arse face: I gave up on it. I'm not slaving over my oven! So I ended up ordering one cause I'm rich as fuck and can throw my money away.
Smarty pants: Harry? Are you alright?
The king: Harry! Are you drunk or under the influence?
Arse face: the king?! More like the kings follower. Everyone knows I, Harry James Potter is the king.
The king: um...just cause the hogwarts era has ended, doesn't mean my reign has.
Arse face:aoaowe keo&29 leseooj 9828&:!.
Smarty pants: wow that was really good English Harry!
Arse face: uh sorry guys, my phone got stolen while I was sleeping.
Smarty pants: BY WHO??!!!!
The king: WHAT BY WHO????
Arse face: an owl.
Arse face: CORRECTION! I am no owl!
Arse face: does anyone know how to remove a pest problem?
The king: interesting owl.
Smarty pants: is that the same owl that's currently huddled up on my windowsill right now?
Arse face: oh one of us has a fake! I thought something was different.
Smarty pants: this owl of yours, does it have human features and is a potential love interest mr Potter?!
Arse face: wow Hermione, I didn't know you were taking up the studies of owl species.
The king: finally! Congrats mate.
Arse face: I wouldn't be congratulating me yet isosiss
Arse face: sorry, I just got brutally injured by my owl.
The king: why wouldn't I be congratulating you? You finally got yourself a girlfriend
Smarty pants: omggg Harry! Add her to the group chat. I want to get to know her.
Arse face: I don't think that'll be necessary guys.
The king: do it.
Smarty pants: please.

*arse face added a new person to the group chat*

Smarty pants: hi, it's a pleasure to meet Harry's new girlfriend. I'm Hermione, what's your name?
The king: I'm Ron.
Person: ...girlfriend?
Arse face: ...yup
Smarty pants:... Harry?
Ron: ... (why are we adding dots?)
Person: Harry dear, why don't you reveal my name. You definitely know it well enough, or would you like me to remind you?
Arse face: well.
Arse face: maybe a reminder might help.

*few hours later (like 2-3)*

Person: He's all refreshed. Tell them.
Arse face: I don't think you really wanna know. I'm gonna go take a shower.
Smarty pants: nonsense. Of course we do. You can shower afterwards
The king: unless it's my sister, then there's no need for introductions
Person: I am not your sister.
*arse face changed persons name to draco Malfoy*
*draco Malfoy changed arse faces name to gay af*
*gay af changed their name to bi af*
Smarty pants: Malfoy, um hi.
Draco Malfoy: Yes it is i, the best dick suckerekeo this word has ever seen.
Draco Malfoy: I apologise for my spelling, someone is currently trying to fight me.
The king: ... congrats on that title
Bi af: so... now you know can I delete him
Draco Malfoy: you wouldn't Dare!
Bi af: stop being dramatic and stop staring at me. I'm gonna go have that shower.

Draco Malfoy: so, how do you feel that I am the one who stole your best friends heart.
Smarty pants: I wish Harry told us about his sexuality, I feel bad for not knowing.
The king: yeah and then we could've found him someone better to date than you!
Draco Malfoy: Honey, there's no one better than me.
The king: I beg to differ.
Smarty pants: Ronald!
Draco Malfoy: I rock his world and holy fuck does he rock mine.
The king: I DONT WANNA KNOW
Smarty pants: look for Harry's sake, we should be civil. Harry won't feel comfortable in himself and wouldn't be able to talk about Draco around us if there's tension. Plus, I'm sure Harry would love to maybe take you along to events and stuff as his boyfriend.
Draco Malfoy: I guess I could attempt that.
Draco Malfoy: As long as Ronald keeps his arse in check, I'll keep my fabulous one in check too.
Smarty pants: good. Ron?
The king: fine.
Draco malfoy: did you know Harry sings  in the shower. He does it everyday; well when he showers alone and it's not half bad.
Smarty pants: you know he showers everyday?
Draco Malfoy: yes, I practically live here now. When I'm not here due to work or my studies, he's constantly texting/calling me, begging me to come back.
The king: so that's why Harry doesn't want me to move in with him. The jobs been taken.
Draco Malfoy: there's still a spare room, I don't use it.
The king: nice to know
Smarty pants: what other juicy tidbits can you spill on Harry's life?
Draco malfoy: you lived with him for years and your expecting me to know more? It's only fair if you spill some too
Smarty pants: I once heard him dream about you. Let's just say I couldn't talk to him the next morning.
Draco Malfoy: what year and why were you in the boys bedroom?
Smarty pants: 6th and for reasons.
Draco Malfoy: hmmm lemme think
Draco Malfoy: he does these cute lil snores but denies ever doing them.
The king: I already know that!
Draco Malfoy: fine
Draco Malfoy: he's really fucking good at sex. He can suck dick like no one else and fuck me so I can't walk the next day. But he's also very good at receiving and very loud.
The king: NOPE DID NOT NEED TO KNOW
smarty pants: um thanks for that. When did this relationship start?
Draco Malfoy: remember the levers party?
Smarty pants: yes
Draco Malfoy: Harry got a bit drunk and followed me outside. He convinced me to help me home and I ended up staying the night (just to sleep, no sex or anything). The rest is history.
Smarty pants: who knew our Harry was so persuasive?
The king: obviously I was an influence for that.
Bi af: I can see all of this! And for your information, I am quite suave.
Draco Malfoy: you didn't even know that word till a few days ago
Bi af: are you requesting proof of my suaveness mr Malfoy?
Draco Malfoy: evidence is very crucial to making a point mr Potter.
The king: im fucking scarred.

A/n: this was terrible I know! I just wanted to update something. Sorry!! I also have a new fan fic on this account, just incase anyone's interested. Anyway that's all so byeee