Melt for me

Chapter twenty eight

                                                                **Elsa**

Words come at me a mile a minute. "Milady what colour is you're dress?"  "We still need to find out what colour the handkerchiefs are going to be!"  "FOOD WHAT ARE WE GOING TO SERVE?"  All of these questions and more come at me. I sit in the head chair, looking back and fourth, frantically trying to keep up.

"ENOUGH!" The Lady Aries says, pounding the table angrily. I am both startled and impressed at this gesture. "We should probably talk about important things to her majesty and not about weather or not to get ivory or egg shell colour handkerchiefs."  The ball planner blushes, clearly at fault. The ball planer is a loud outgoing man with a eye for fashion. But he is overly pushy and can be so annoying. I'm glad Lady Aries shut him up, before I had to.

The Duchess drums her fingers on the table, patience is not her strong suite. "Hhm, yes well... We called this meeting for a number of reasons. We have everything in order for the ball well almost everything.." The ball planer nods happily but the Duchess continues. 

"Your majesty the first order is that of your dress. Ball planer?"  The man stands up, fumbling with his scrolls. He gives up and just stands. "The seamstress is to be here right after this meeting. She is willing to change some things about the dress but not all of it. Also-"

"Thank you that will be all." The Duchess says rudely.  I can tell she is annoyed beyond measure. She hmms and hahs underneath her breath, trying to find the right words to say. Beside her, Lord Victor looks impatient. A spoiled child who is currently not getting his way. I wonder what could make him look like such a sour puss. It pleases me very much so. Since I hate him with such a passion,  I would be a fool not to take such joy in this. 

 Lord Victor pushes him self up, slamming his hands on the table. Is everyone in a foul mood or is it just me? "CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT THE BALL AND GET ON WITH IT!"

I cross my arms. Its not just Lord Victor who is in a bad mood. Everyone is nervous, like a young colt before its first ride. Jittery and can not be contained.  Usually they are not like this. Mostly they all talk big and strut around like proud birds but sometimes I forget that theses people can have emotions.  

...........

The council looks at each other, not making eye contact with me. I feel so frustrated, I'm not a child. Why treat me like one?  "Oh for heavens sakes! Your Majesty, Lord Raven has offered a proposal to you."  I can hear Lord Victor talking but his mouth isn't matching up with the words. Its like waters stuck in my ears or something.

"What..." I say slowly.  Marry me... why does he. "I can't marry a man I just met, never less had a conversation with!"   Why would Lord Raven want to marry me? He doesn't even know me! Jack knows me and he doesn't even want to go to the ball with me. Because Jack knows what an unstable person I am.

Jack doesn't love me.... so why should some random stranger?

For only one reason and one reason alone. Lord Raven wants the crown. Then again so does everyone else showing up at the ball. They don't want me, or want to get to know me. The want the crown and my kingdom. Nothing more, nothing less. 

At least Jack didn't want the crown.... at least he understands who I am. 

Or at least I thought he did. Never mind that. Jack is the sprit of fun and freedom. Totally opposite from me. I would only chain him here and just overall... be a burden.  Like I am to everyone else around here.  I shove Jack out of my mind and heart. No... No more. I need to stop thinking of myself and start thinking of my country.

"We know its a lot to ask my Queen but-"   I cut the Duchess off. "I'll...I'll think about it." That catches everyone by surprise, even myself.  The one thing I swore I was never going to do. I'm thinking about it. What else is there to do? I don't want to rule alone, its a hard tedious task. But I don't want to just throw the crown at Anna's feet. In one hand is my happiness... in the other is my kingdom.

I clasp my hands together, tightly and forever binding.

I am a Queen before I am myself.

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The seamstress pokes and prods at me, finally taking out the pins. "Now are you sure dearie that that's what you want?" The old woman asks. Peering at me through her large specs. I nod. "Yes... Yes I'm sure."

The old woman mumbles but not so quite that I can't hear. "It'll sure make a statement." I smile. Good that's what I want. If I am to go into marriage with chains and sadness, I might as well do it my way. After all, all good things come to a sad ending. 

The old seamstress gathers up her blue prints for my dress, mumbling to herself all the way. "Thank-" She shuts the door with a bang, shaking the walls. "You..." I can tell the seamstress is not happy at what I chose. But it is my dress and what I say goes. For at least what goes on to my dress any how. 

To think tomorrow night I'll be at a ball.... I'm going to have to choose and quickly from what it sounds like. I'm going to have to choose my own prison.  My own... cold.. lonely prison. A sudden thought dawns on me. I cover my mouth.

Will my children suffer the same fate as I? Tears spring on my eyes as I think of the thought of having a child with ice powers. Going through what my Mother and Father had to go through. Wanting to help and protect your chid, but failing at every chance you get.

My future seems dim and bleak. When will I ever get the chance to be happy again? If not- My eyes look out the large window and wader to the tip of the mountain. A sudden jolt of excitement runs through me.

I grab my ballet slippers, hiding them behind my back as I exit the room.

My sanctuary... my palace of pure ice. I am coming, even if just for some of the night. I will be there.  Dancing and singing as I lock the last bit of myself up inside of me. Storing every single piece of me that makes up who I am.

I will no longer be Elsa the snow Queen.  I will be Elsa, who once again will conceal it.