Ups and Downs: Can't Run From Pain

4.

3 days later...

KAYLA

I watch as my mom rushes around the room getting her stuff together for her diaper bag. It's 3 in the morning and she started having contractions right after her water broke in bed. "You ready come on!" Auntie Jackie says rushing into the room. "Kayla you coming" My mom says breathing in and out. I shake my head no. I'm way to sleepy for that."Well Joseph is going to watch you bc Ken coming with us." Aunt Jackie says before heading out he door with my mom.

...

It's going on 4:00 a.m in the morning. I'm thinking about the baby. I was sitting in my room thinking about what it would look like. We finally got away. We finally escaped his trap. I'm so proud of my mom. We can finally live without hell being raised every single day. Without us being hurt emotionally and physically. My moms wrong weren't to her choice as of it was my dad's fault of it all. But it doesn't matter. It's done now. It's created. And it's coming.

My door creeks open as my cousin appears in sight. " What are you doing its late at night Joseph " I tell him. He unbuckled his belt and pulls his pants down. I start crying as he comes closer to me. " What are you doing! Joseph move! " I yell in tears. As he pulls his member out his pants. " Shut the fuck up! " He growls snatching me by my pants.

This cannot be happening. My own blood cousin is doing this to me. What did me and my mom ever do to deserve this. Nothing, that's what.

I've seen him looking and staring at me, but I never thought in this way. He use to always walk pass my room late at night. But this I would never bring to my mind.

He snatches my pants off. I kick him in his dick and while running to the door only to get snatched back by my hair. He drags me to his room. " Let em go! I'm telling my mommy! Let me go! " I scream to the top of my lungs as he closes and locks his door. He throws me on his bed. "Take your panties off!" he demands. "No!" I scream. He grabs me by my panties trying to snatch them off. I bite his hand. He punches me in my chest making me fall back on the bad. He nearly knocked all my breath out.

He rips my panties and shoves himself inside of me. Making me gasp and burst into tears. "Get off of me please!" I say to him while crying. He start speeding up into me. I cry as white creamy stuff oozes down my leg. "Stop leave me alone" I choke out. He comes out of me and puts on a condom before entering me again causing me to feel the pain all over again.

He speeds up while biting his lip before I feel warmth in me from the condom. He comes out of me before pulling the condom off. He pulls his pants up and walks out the room like nothing ever happened. I look between my legs and see blood and white womanly fluids between my legs and on his black and gold Versace sheets.

I get trying to run only fall back down from pain between my legs. He walks in with an smirk on his face and a mini ice cream bucket. "You like cookie and cream?" He asks as if he didn't just rape me. "Leave me alone!you just raped me! I'm telling my mom!" I scream at him. He chuckles. "Actually no you won't because if you do..." He says walking to his nightstand and pulling out a gun. "I will merk you, yo pussy of a brotha, and ya momma, and lets not forget the new addition she'll be bringing in a couple" He says waving his gun in my face only making me cry harder.

He yanks me up by my arm and drags me down to my mom's room and throwing in bed. "Make sure you don't get blood on her white sheets" He says eating ice cream while leaving out the room. I crawl out of my mom's bed and go into the bathroom to clean myself up and put some more pants on.

...

I've cleaned myself up now I'm in bed crying. Joseph walks in here. "Yo crying keeping me up shut the hell up before I make you!" he snaps as I try to stop crying. I just can't stop. I can never get a break it's like hell follows me everywhere I go. He comes over and snatches me by my hair while pulling his partner out his pants with the other hand. He shoves himself into my mouth. I cry as he violates and fucks my mouth. I feel something shoot in the back of my throat. He pulls out of my mouth and I spit white stuff out my mouth. "Clean dat up off the floor and go to bed" He demands.

I woke up to someone shaking me. I jump up while slapping Joseph's hand away. "Why did you slap my hand like that? What's wrong with you?" My Auntie asks looking at me weird. Correction I slapped my Auntie's hand away. "No im fine" I say not showing my face. "Your voice is raspy are you sick?" She asks me. I shrug my shoulders. "Well c'mon we have to go see your baby sister." She says. "I don't feel good" I say coughing. "Damn, well look im bout to go back to the hospital,  Joseph had to go to school, so you gone be here with your brother." She says gathering some of my mom's clothes.

I nod turning over. When she left out the room i slowly made my way downstairs. I see Ken on the couch eating grapes. I went and sat down by him. I just stared at him debating if I want to tell him about what happened with Joseph. "KAYLA" Ken yells snapping me out of my train of thought. "Yes" I answer. "Why are you staring at me and what's wrong with your voice?" He asks. "Im sick" I say looking down at my hands. He turns his attention back to the tv.

"Ken, Jo-" I start to say.

"I will merk you, yo pussy of a brotha, and ya momma, and let's not forget the new addition she'll be bringing home in a couple" he says waving his gun in my face only making me cry harder.

For some reason I believed it. It put fear deep down in my heart..and I don't seem to know why.

"Huh?" Ken says snapping me out my thought. "You seem off today" He says looking at me. I shake my head no "Nothing" I say avoiding eye contact with him. He stares at me for awhile. "don't tell me you miss Detroit mane" He says sounding mad. I shake my head no.
"No" I say. "you wanna go to the store and get some snacks because im tired of eating grapes" He says getting up. I nod my head scared of the fact that Joseph might be back any minute from school.

I get up as Ken watches me and trip over the table leg on purpose, so I can limp. "Ouch" I say holding my ankle. "you good, you need to be carried" He asks coming over to me. I nod my head. He picks me up and we head down the street. "Dollar General" He says to himself as he walks into the parking lot with me on his back.

We just got back home. "Here"He says handing me my hot fries and the new journal I just bought. I run up stairs but reluctantly stop from pain between my legs. I slowly make me way to my room. I closed and locked the door.

Today I got raped. By who? My cousin. Wanna know what happened? Doesn matter imma tell you. The first day we came wasn't  very welcoming. My brother, Ken and my cousin Joseph had got into a fight about how disrespectful Joseph was being to my mom when she greeted him. The next day I was in the kitchen that morning fixing me some cereal. "What is yo big, little booty having ass doing?" Joseph asked as I tried to reach for the cereal. I didn't think nothing of it though. Mostly because of the fact that heś my cousin. Sometimes he would just stare at me. When I caught him staring, he wouldn't care. Nope. He'd just keep staring. The next day was the same as the last except this time, when I was dozing off in my room, in the bed, I saw him walk pass my room and stop in my doorway. I shuttered my eyes to where he couldn't see and he stood there a long time. Like, like he was debating on raping me or something. Like, he was literally plotting when and where he was going to do it too. I wish I caught on, cause if so I would have went with my mom and auntie that night.

I haven't been able to sleep because everytime I close my eyes, me getting raped pops back up in my head. It's real irritating. I close the book and climb under my bed. I slide through the blocks of wood that's there to holding the bed up so it doesn't fall in. My birthday is coming up in less than a week,and i've gotten robbed of my virginity. It's not fair, but it's life.

If anyone has been through hell it's my mom. Her life was fucked up way before she met my dad.When he came along she felt like she could trust, and rely on him, and that's where she went wrong. After he knocked her up with my brother, he started cheating and all. Then after he knocked her up with me he started beating on her, and my brother. He started beating on me when I was 5, so I guess I had it better than anyone else in the household...I guess. My mom had taught me how not to make the mistakes she made.

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Love you, Bye