letter xiii

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leaves fall and the winter comes

leaves fall and the winter comes

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~

December 12, 1971

Dear Alex,

Wow. It's been almost a whole year without you. I miss you so bad. So very bad. River has stopped asking about you, which is a good and bad thing. I rarely see Charles out of his room and his office anymore. His office, by the way, has gone to garbage. There is trash everywhere and clothing and alcohol. I really miss the normal Charles.

Hank has stopped overworking though, so he takes care of River a lot now. I also have to take care of her a lot. I heard the war is worse now. I hope you're ok.

Your letter really brightened my life actually. I think Hank was worried because I screamed when I got the letter. You're so sweet, Alex. And I really wanted you to just burst through the door and propose. Imagine that, huh?

I don't know what to say anymore in these letters. God, I miss you. The leaves are falling, and the winter is here and you're still not home.

Can't they just let you come home? You and Sean. Please...


Love, Neva Liu

~

Charles watched from the doorway as Neva sighed and folded up the piece. She put it in a cardboard box and slid the box under her desk. She put her head down and started crying quietly.

Charles' heart broke.

He knew she wrote letters to Alex. He knew she had written them since the first time they met. That seemed ages ago. He searched his mind to try and listen to her thoughts, but he couldn't. The serum prevented his powers.

Charles put down his bottle of beer onto the floor and ran a hand through his outgrown hair. Go in and help her? Or stay out...

He slowly opened the door and walked inside. Neva didn't notice or if she did, she made no reaction. He went over and carefully guided her towards the bed. He hugged her awkwardly and tried to comfort her like he had seen Hank before. The two others didn't usually see, but Charles did really notice that they were more depressed with Alex and Sean gone. They thought he didn't care and he felt like he didn't, but it was really just because he has lost so much. His head hurt at the thought of everyone's else's hurt, so Charles took the serum to block it all out. It was a coping mechanism, Hank said. Neva's body was shaking, and she welcomed the embrace. He knew that she really worried about him, but there was nothing she could do.

"Charles?" Hank's voice brought him out of his thoughts. Charles looked up and saw the beer in his hand. He saw that he was still outside Neva's door, watching her head on her desk. He saw that he hadn't really gone inside and helped her. No, he had just stayed outside. Not helping. He never did help anyone anyways.

"Hank. Good to see you," Charles mumbled and then pushed past the man to walk down the stairs.

Of all the things Charles regretted, that moment was almost at top of the list.

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