letter ix

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THANKS FOR 500 READS EEEKK!!!

there's things that you can't see, you're way to close to me

there's things that you can't see, you're way to close to me

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~

December 2, 1970

Dear Alex,

River is having the time of her life.  I know she loves you and I as much as we love her. She's practically been our little sister, which is kind of cute. There's only one thing that has been bugging me: all the Asian stuff.

As you know, I'm Vietnamese and I thought people would understand because I've lived in America all my life, but apparently people don't. River and I have been getting a lot of comments whenever we go out of the house (which is not very often), and it really hurts me to see her go through this. She doesn't seem to care though. She seems really happy to finally have a real family who cares for her.

Hank loves to play with her and teach her about his work and science and all that nerd stuff. (We love you, Hank...nerd.) Charles has, thankfully, temporarily stopped taking big doses of Hank's serum because I told him it would be bad influence on River. He started teaching her too, as is his natural habit. Teaching her about English and literature and mutants in general. All of us tell her stories of our missions and the X-Men and the mutant school. Sometimes she asks about the school, and we all kind of shut down a bit. But then you take her out to the lake and she doesn't seem to be sad or anything.

-

Neva stopped. Her pen dragged on the paper in a messy line. She started to tear up, dropped the pen on the table, and put her head down in her arms. River had, without a doubt, brightened everyone's lives. Neva had been very careful not to touch the young girl. River had so much in front of her; she was a smart kid, a joyful one, and Neva could tell she would be amazing in the future.

Neva had actually seen flashes of River in Alex's future memories. It was like a deja vu. River would grow up quite quickly into a strong mutant with a strong power. Other than that, Neva couldn't see much because of Alex's...she couldn't bring herself to say the word.  Neva sighed and picked up the pen again.

-

Sorry, ignore that line. I kind of messed up.

Anyways, you started mentioning rings, which made me a bit wary but also excited. Maybe you are thinking about proposing?

I kinda am a little scared though. I mean, in your future...I'm just...not there. I don't know why, but it scares me.

Will we break up? Will we just leave each other? I can't imagine not looking at that gorgeous smile or hearing your laugh everyday.

I think I didn't fully think about it until River came along because she looks up to both of us as a couple. And if we don't end up together then...I don't know.

Of course, someone who is smart (Hank, looking at you, nerd) would say "Well this possibility is only the most likely possibility. Things can change!" And I would agree and disagree.

I agree, in that there are theories that these "destinies" can change. It is only HIGHLY PROBABLE. Not completely and fully likely.

However, I disagree, in that I have never seen something that didn't happen. My parents were killed in a car accident, just like I saw. My sister married her husband and then moved to England, leaving me behind in New York, just like I saw. My best friend from high school died while having her first baby, just like I saw. My whole family and all my friends turned out just as predicted.

Almost everything I have ever seen in people's futures has hurt me. I hold so many things in my heart, Alex. You don't know everything about my family. You know about my parents and my sister, and that's about it. We've been together for six years, and you don't know everything inside my mind. The closer you get, the more I you push away.

If you propose, you'll be way too close. There's things that you can't see, things that I don't want to share.

But...I still love you.

And that's all that matters.


Love, Neva Liu

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