Us, to nowhere

•43•

I woke up early in the morning to watch the sun rise. I remembered how Alex and me, the two of us used to sit on the rooftop to watch the sun rise or sunset. I would be so comfortable around his arms, my head laid on his chest. I wore his sweatshirt because I'd started reminiscing. I didn't care about moving on anymore. No one said it was going to be easy, but no one said it was going to be this hard either.
I didn't attend school, so after a while, I removed his sweats, and slept in my robe.
I was woken by a stupid, stupid dream that left me so consumed with rage I could hardly breathe. It was Alex and Paige running off into sunset together. I could see them having better luck and better chance at a future than we ever did.
It was evening, I ended up in my usual café. But jeans wasn't the thing I wore and coffee wasn't the thing I drank.

•••

I hadn't seen her. Not since the disaster last night. I was still limping from the swelling, my arm was much better, now it hurt only if I waved.
I went home, I tried to reach out to her. I couldn't. I went for a walk down the street.
When I received a call from Moira Walls, the waitress who caught me bring a lurker.

"Hey. Alex?"

"Yeah, you need something?"

"Not really. But there's something you should know."

"Yeah. What?"

"You know that girl you were staring at?"

"Yes. What about her?" There was immense amount of concern in my voice.

"Um."

"Dammit Moira, just tell me if she's okay."

"You need to see this. She's wasted. Come by the café, she's not particularly dressed for a café. I've denied her drinks, but come by here, quick and take her home. She needs you."

"Okay. I'll be there as soon as possible."
When I reached there, I found her sitting by the bar, in very short clothes and sweats that wouldn't even show her shorts.
A man was near her which I thought was okay before I realised he was brushing his hand through her thigh but she was too wasted to notice anything especially with her head on the table.
"Step away from my girlfriend, dick."
I pushed him away.

"Maybe you should take more care of her, don't you think?"

"Don't tell me what to do. And buzz off."

"The girl doesn't mind."

"Leave, before I call the cops."

"Whatever, dude."

"Faith, let's go." I put her arm around my neck asking her to get up. I paid her drinking bill.

"What?"

"Let's go, baby. No more drinking."

"Like you give a fuck."

"I do, more than you think."

"I'm not Paige."

"Let's just go, get you into bed."

"Hmm." She passed out on my shoulder.
I realized then, she was wearing my sweats. I put her into my bed, leaving her at home felt kind of weird and oh, who would explain all of this to her mother. So, I just asked Delilah to tell her, Faith crashed at hers. I slept on the couch in my room giving her the space she needed, even though it killed me to not hug her and sleep, make her feel protected, make me feel as though I still have her, but no, I couldn't, she needed space and so I gave my babygirl that. I kept a bucket beside her in case she puked.
I was just tucking her in when she woke up.
"Baby." She said.

"I'm here."

"I love you, so much."

"I love you."