Us, to nowhere

•38•

So, I woke up today, contemplated on how life sucks, drew my curtains and went back to sleep, or at least tried to. I strictly told Delilah not to show up at my house and I'm glad she sensed the tone. I had like fifteen voice messages remaining. I literally slept at ten yesterday. Nathan, Delilah, dad, Emma, Ian and so many other people left voice messages, including Alex. Wait, what? He wished me, after whatever he did he had the audacity to wish me. I heard his message, it said, "Hey, I know I'm probably the last person you want to speak with, but it's your eighteenth birthday, so yeah. It means something, um, Happy Birthday, then."
Argh, it spoiled my whole mood, but I can't deny that it kind of made me happy. Very little. And if I'm being true to myself, I liked that happiness, so I was listening that message on repeat.

I went down and made myself some coffee. I heard a doorbell, I thought it was Delilah.
"D, I asked you not..."

"Hey?" It was Alex.
He stopped me as I was about to slam the door on his face.
"Don't close the door Faith, please."

"What do you want?"

"I just, um, wanted to apologize."

"Oh, again? For what? Now, I really don't care anymore if you are screwing her."

"For the last time, she is manipulative​..."

"Oh, you don't blame her for this. You're just as at fault as she is. You can't even be a man and accept that?"

"Okay, I'm sorry."

"A little late to be sorry, isn't it?"

"You know what? Forget it."

"Forget that you came in my life, nope, too hard to do that."

"Forget that I came here."

"Oh, sure thing. Leave."

"Happy birthday. I got a gift..."

"One of your lies?"

"It was a book series you've always wanted to read."

"Keep it. Oh, oops, almost forgot, keep this stupid necklace of yours, passed on from your ancestors, right? Wouldn't want to lose it on me, when it'll fit just right around Paige's neck." And then I mumbled, "to strangle her."

"It will, always be meant for you, even if you don't accept that."

"Haha, hilarious, leave, now. Don't want you to feed me any more false assurances."
He left, I didn't cry after that. Otherwise I always end up crying, but this time, I didn't. I kept my tears inside of me, more like managed to do so.
I just wanted to sleep all day long. There's nothing in my life to be excited about anymore, the only exciting thing, left. And now the nostalgia hits so hard that it brings nothing but sheer agony.
Later that evening, Delilah and Nathan barged in my room, yeah, she has a key to my house.

"Get the fuck up. Now." Delilah said.

"Oh god. What are you guys doing here?"

"We are taking you out." Nathan exclaimed.

"No, we're not." I said.

"Yeah, we are."

"Listen, can we not? Alex dropped by today and we obviously got into a fight and I'm in no mood to celebrate my birthday."

"Fine, we'll do something small. Okay?"

"Yeah, see. I've always liked you Nathan. Very smart."

"Shut up, Delilah."

"Get dressed, we'll go to the normal café that you always go to." Nathan said and Delilah rolled her eyes.
I changed and we left. It was amazing, really. I forgot all my woes and was able to cover up my pain. It was fun. We even cut a baked blueberry cheesecake. Amaze. We fooled around, sat there and talked for such a long time. I genuinely gained all my power and the calibre to smile again. I'm content that they took me out.

•••

I was staring at her from outside the café, like everyday, but this time, it killed me, killed me for not being there with her, sharing her happiness, providing her with joy. I was lost in my thoughts and a waitress came outside.

"I've seen you for days. You come by here just to make sure she's okay." She said.

"Yes, you see I let her down..."

"You dont need to come here every night. I'd tell you if something was wrong."

"I know."

"You know you can join them, if you want."

"What I want is for that woman to be happy."