Us, to nowhere

•41•

I am strapped to a hospital bed, driven into the hallways, I see nurses and doctors around me. I can hear a woman screaming, an EKG flattening, and a child crying. There's a tube attached to my hand that's probably supplying something and I drift away. Everything fades, turns grey and eventually black.

•••

I received a phone call, it was Alex. I wanted to shout and apologize at the same time. I picked shouting instead.
"What do you want?" I asked.

"Is this Faith? Faith Allen?" A woman asked, over the phone.

"Yes, who is this?"

"Actually, there's this guy, he's been in an accident, I couldn't get his phone to open but you were his emergency contact. His ID says he's Alex Flynn."

"What? Oh my..." I stood up in a jerk.

"Yes, we've called for 911..."

"Thank you so much. I'll be there."

"Yes, Constance Hospital."

"I'll inform his parents and I'll be there."

"As soon as possible. He should see the face of someone who comforts him as soon as he wakes up, dear."

"Excuse me? I said I'll be there."
I went to Constance and asked for him. On my way to there, I called his parents but I didn't know they were in Paris for some business meeting. They said they'll be here in the next flight. I was so worried about him.
"Hey, I'm looking for Alex Flynn. The guy at the counter said he was here in this room." I asked a nurse.

"Yes, this room."

"Just out of curiosity, is he okay?" I was almost weeping.

"Hey." She held my hand. "Don't worry. He'll be alright. It was nothing major. But you should be with him."

"Oh boy." I went inside and he was sleeping. "Uh, when's he going to wake up."

"He's just been given a sedative. He'll be up and about in a few hours."

"Alright. Thanks."

•••

When I woke up, she was right there. Right by my side. Holding my hand, sitting on the chair, she slept waiting for me to get up. I stared at her all the three hours I was awake. It was the closest I could be with her, longest I could go without fighting. It was the most fun I had in days.
I adjusted my blanket but she woke up, looking flawless as ever.

"Hey." She said, yawning.

"Hi, I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't."
There was awkward silence between the two of us.
"How's your arm? And your ankle and probably every other broken bone or scar you've got there."

"Oh, god. Can we stop being sarcastic?"

"You could've gotten yourself killed."

"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't see the car coming."

"What were you doing in the middle of the road?"

"After our fight..."

"Oh shit. I led you into this? Oh my god. Oh my god. This is my fault." She got up and said with concern.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's not your fault."

"Don't get up. Just stay there. Don't move."

"Okay, baby."

"Alex. Your blood's on my hand. You could've died. How are you still even putting up with me?"

"Faye, I think you know why."

"Alex, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Faith. Calm down. It's not your fault. We had a fight. And this was just something that got caught in the crossfire."

"Dude, you have a broken arm."

"No, it'll heal. It's not even broken. It's a minor fracture."

"But I am the reason behind it."

"No physical pain can compare the pain I caused you, can it?"

"Alex. I didn't want to. And if it were up to me, I'd fix this. I would forgive you. But I can't. My brain keeps churning around the fact, once a cheater always a cheater."

"Faith. I understand. It's okay."

"Very well, explain it to me then."

"Come here."

"What?"

"Come here to me."
She came and we were face to face. The electricity between us came back in such a way that it felt as if it never left.
"I love you. I always will. No matter what you feel, how you feel. I'll always keep you before me." I whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

"Uh, huh. Am I interrupting something?" The doctor knocked on the door and asked.

"Um, no. Definitely no." I said.

"Very well then. Let's have a look at your arm."

"Is everything okay, doc?" She asked.

"Yeah, he'll be okay, especially when his girlfriend cares so much about him."

"Oh, we're not..." She said.

"She's not..." I said. We both said it at the same time, it was like a movie.

"Looks like you two have things to talk about." The doctor said.

"Um."

"Okay, judging by your wound, you'll be home by tomorrow. But you'll need rest for at least another week. I'm sure your 'friend' will take care of you, won't she?"

"Yes, yeah." She said.

"Where are my parents, and Ian?"

"Oh, they'll be here. They know what's happened. I'll keep them posted. And I completely forgot to inform Ian, I'll call him."

"Okay."

"My work here is done. The nurse will be here with food in awhile."

"Thanks doc." I said.

•••

Can we get back together? I had this question on repeat in my head. It was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to ask him this. I've longed for the kind of love he gives me. The kind of concern he has for me. I just couldn't live a life in which he isn't a part of. I have gotten used to him being around, it's been awhile now. I've been hurt so many times that I wanted someone who would never do something like this. I had him, but he lost me. He chose Paige over me. And trust me when I say this. No matter how many he hurts me, I'll always choose him. But this time I couldn't. I just couldn't. For once, I wanted no one to have the power to hurt me. I know. I know Alex hurt me. And I know that he's repented enough for it. But maybe this time, I don't have enough tape to keep my heart together. A kiss, I would've been able to get over, but sex? No. And I wouldn't even know how to believe him. I lost all trust I had. And I guess, that's one step to moving on, isn't it? Even though, every night, he's the reason I don't go to sleep and I cry as if someone's slit my tear ducts. Every inch of my room, reminds me of something or the other he did. Maybe all my clothes smell like him, maybe all of me still loves him. But no, I can't forgive or forget.