LET ME IN [#wattys2018]

Chapter thirty-eight-/its okay not to be okay, right?/

Damons pov:

Punch. Punch, punch. Punch.

I never came down here. Wasnt my place. Xavier still hasnt woke up yet. Still laying helplessly. I growl and hit the punching bag harder.

The white tape covering my knuckles were nowhere near enough protection. I grimaced when i hit the bag. I checked my hands and saw they were red raw. Purple and red skin replaced my olive complexion.

I hissed when i touched it.

"You okay?" Megan stepped into the gym. My eyes snapped up to hers. I weekly smiled.

"Yeah." I sigh and slump to the ground. I stare at the wall. Megan sits herself next to me. "No."

She sighs and puts a hand on my bicep.

"Itll get easier." She smiled.

"How? How is any of this going to get better?" I shake my head. "Ashleys gone. Xaviers almost gone. Dans gone awol. Toris always crying. Mr ruddocks doesnt even bother coming out of his drunken pit. And me, well look at me."

"Hey." She pulls my head and cups my cheeks. "Im here."

She places her lips on mine. She sighs into it.

I know when your girl kisses you, you feel good. Right now, all i could think of was xavier. Ashley. Dan. Tori.

I pull away.

"Sorry, i- i just can't. What if hes... whats happening to ashley right now?" A tear leaves my eye and i suck in a breathe. "What if she gets lost in her own hurt? What if hes already broke her megs?"

"Ssh." She pulls me into a hug and i sob in her arms. Man the unknown is so fucking hard.

"Where were you the day brit and ash fought?" The subjects suddenly came to mind.

"Busy." She responded sharp. Okay?

Dans pov: newwww!

I sit at the cliff xavier used to go to. Ive been coming here a lot. Just thinking. What if he doesnr make it? What if i lose my two brothers and ashley... my sister.

Im not good at showing affection, just ask Victoria, but i do love all my friends. Did ash know that? Did xav? Fuck!

I press my finger and thumb to my eyes to rub away the tears. I take a long swig of the whiskey i was drinking. Dads drink. Nobody saw who shot him. Xavier.

"Thought I'd find you here."

I turn my head to find Victoria. I smile. She looks so small up here. Her sundress is hugging her practically. She has a small black leather jacket on. She's so adorable.

"Ugh, stop that." She rolls her eyes and goes to grab the drink but i turn my arm. Shes too small to reach. I smirk. "Your laughing at my smallness and im not."

"Too bad." I chuckle.

"Aha! I got you too laugh. Now scoot over." She smiles.

I smile back and budge an inch on my truck. She jumps up with a huff and wiggles to get comfy. She stares straight ahead like me.

"Wow." She breathes.

"Yup." I say looking down. "How'd you know where I was?"

"I saw you." She shrugs.

"How?" I frown.

"Down there." She nudges her head to down the stream.

I look down to find a lower graveyard. Four graves were planted on the edge near the water.

"Who?" I look at her, worried instantly.

"My mom. My dad, my uncle and my brother." She blinks away a couple tears. I sigh and immediately pull her to my chest.

"How longs it been?" I ask gently.

"Two years." She sniffs. "I saw a couple teens the other day sniffing coke and it made so... angry. They were laughing and, i know it was their high talking, its just... why would someone chose that?" She pulls away and looks at me. My heart breaks even more.

"Some people need escapes." I wipe away the tears from her face.

"Well, thats what alcohol is for." She grabs the bottle from me. Before i could get it from her mouth, she takes a huge gulp. She swallows and grimaces. "Eww."

"Idiot." I say. "You okay?" I cup her face checking her over.

"Oh stop fussing, ive been drunk before." She rolls her eyes.

"Not in front of me you havent." I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah well im sad so..." she still has tears in her eyes. "I miss them. All of them."

"I know-"

"No! I miss all of them! My parents! My brother! My uncle! Ash and xavier. Why does everyone have to fuck off?" She shakes her head.

"I know vic, i know." I kiss her temple.

"You know i hate that nickname." She grumbles. I chuckle.

"Sorry... tori?"

"Eww."

"Everyone calls you that." I laugh.

"Yeah but it sounds foreign coming from you." She grumbles.

"Your right, im sorry." I hug her tighter. I look at the graves at the bottom.

Victoria had to lose her whole family to drugs. Her parents liked to smack each other around so they took drugs and eventually ODed. Then it was just her and harry, her brother. Then he couldn't cope and started on drugs. He ODed too. Eventually, she lived with her smack-head uncle and... died of a drug overdose. Again.

Now she looks at all drugs like shit. Its what they are. One night, we had a fight. A really bad one. I slammed her door and left. I got wrecked that night. So bad that damon called her.

I smoked dope. Got myself off on a couple different highs. Not to mention the beer. When she saw me she slapped me and then started looking after me. I cant actually remember. When i asked her the next day why she freaked out so bad, she told me. I felt like suck a dick.

Its always been my solution to everything. The only reason im not starting again for xavier and ash is because of vic. Shes whats important to me now.

"I love you, you know." Tori mumbled. She had her head in my lap looking at me, smiling.

I looked down at her and bent down. I kissed her gently.

"I love you too beautiful."

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Omg i love dori! 🖤

Hannah❤️