The Tribute Drummer

Have A Little Faith

Congratulation blooms of all sorts poured in, cards and telegrams flooded the hospital room. As I grew stronger so did the little one. Of course, we had our set backs, scares as they would be called, her tiny lungs were underdeveloped so oxygen was hard to get in, that's why she had a special incubator. Any infection or cold could be deadly, no one with a fever or illness would be allowed near us for fear we would, or could, transfer it to her.

I say she because I am procrastinating, if I name her she becomes really mine and Johns daughter. I will have to give her all my heart not just the little piece I have reserved for her currently.

What if something happens? What if I give her a name and she doesn't survive?

When he left last night, for food and a shower, John told me, gently warned me, that I needed to decide with him today.

"Morning luv" John waltzed in, two bags, one with fresh blueberry bagels and another with new toiletries under his wings, coffees in his hands. "Thought we could have the real deal today not the watered-down rubbish from the café, yeah"

"Ta" I sat up in bed uncomfortably remembering my abdomen as it stretched and pulled "Ouch! Too fast! Grab me that pillow please Johnny" He tucked the pillow in behind me and planted a kiss on my head, plonking down on the chair with one leg hung over the side, comfortable in the chair he had brought in himself after a few days of the nasty hospital supplied option.

"So..." John pulled on the blanket so that It fell from my legs, a mischievous grin flashing before he grabbed it and messily folded it at the end of the bed. "Names our aim of the day, I thought of a few. Courtney, Tiffany, Gertrude, Roberta.."

"Let's drink this yummy coffee in silence shall we before you rattle off the phone book of rotten names" I was laughing and he tickled my toe making me spill a drop ir two of coffee down my front.

"Ooops" Grabbing the poor blanket John patted down my chest rather clumsily, rather naughtily, as his fingers flittered their way over my breasts like butterflies caressing me.

"John, enough with the feelies, sick person here!" Grabbing his collar I pulled him in for a bone rattling kiss, I missed him too. He wound his fingers in my hair and we had a proper make out session forgetting the hospital, nurses, doctors. Just him and me existed for a few moments. "I miss you, too"

John pulled away "Right enough, I want you a hundred percent before I go knocking on your door again, missy" He laughed as I pouted and we finished breakfast, him squeezed on the bed beside me.

"Grace, Hope, Mira, I really don't know, I'm sort of scared to make it all really real, you know" I snuggled down beside him and gave him a monster hug and he returned it "She's Lens baby, she needs a beautiful name"

"She's your baby too, any name we give her will be beautiful" John entwined our fingers and stroked my arms softly as we mulled over her future "Even a name that we can shorten like Ratcat would be fab!"

"NO!" I gave him the don't mess with me stare and he held a hand up in defence "Samantha will be Sam, Katrina there's a Kat there! And you need a name that fits her personality that we don't even know what it is yet! Pig headed like you or angelic like me!"

"Hey - at least you're a lot happier today, was wondering when grumpy Cat was nicking off" John smiled but I knew he was telling the truth these past days had been hard on the both of us. I was stir crazy and muddled from the pregnancy baby bombshell, well John was too on that account ut he had had more time to get his head round the idea. The nurses had also been trying to get me to attempt breast feeding so all the hormones were up in the air, different drugs in my system being cut for the breastfeeding experiment meant I was in more pain that couldn't be kept under control so easily. I was even given drugs to help bring the milk in as I was so delayed in starting.

**********

"John, John can you grab the phone I have my hands full of wet baby!" I was sing-songing to John trying not to upset an already tired and fed-up little 4 month old Faith Lennon, yes Faith was her name we took ages going round and round in circles but always came back to the same shortlist of special names.

We were very luck with her she flourished and exceeded the doctor's expectations meaning we were out of hospital and home fairly quickly. Home being at the present moment the cottage at the Macca compound, it was our safe place away from prying eyes of the paparazzi and fans. Close to Abe, the Mccartney's... Linda, of course, giving me the much-needed assistance if and when I needed, which was too often unfortunately.

My headlong plunge into parenthood was fast and furious and I have lost my shit on countless occasions, John sending me out the door to scream at the beach or hit the drums til I could settle myself again. I was the biggest baby going causing John so much grief, he has been amazing having done this all before but I wasn't helping any when I was at a loss to being a mum.

As I finished dressing Faith she cooed and gurgled, a big change from minutes ago when she was screaming blue murder in the bath, when did such a little being have such big lungs! We settled on the porch in the rocker, my favourite spot, for her to have lunch. I'm a mass of boobs now when a few months ago I was all but as flat as a tack, I hope they don't disappear when the munchkin stops feeding!

"There you are, that was Julian he will be here on Wednesday! I can't wait for him to see this little one. He'll be surprised at how big she is now" John knelt down and we sat quietly as she fed. Naughtily falling asleep as she fed, I would have to keep brushing her cheek or tickling her toes to wake up. "I'll go to the shop or get Abe to get some groceries, do you need anything?"

"No I'm fine, well maybe some new drumsticks, yeah?" I smiled down at John and tapped out a beat on his head as he kissed the bubs fingers. "What have you been up too? I have hardly seen you all week!?"

"It's a secret!"

I pouted and tried to garnish more info by smiling sweetly. John ignored my eyes pleading with him to tell me.

"Nah, no! you're not going to get it out of me- When Jules turns up I will let the Cat out of the bag!" I ha-ha-ed him as he stood, giving us both a kiss, he took off to ring Abe.

"Your daddy has been very sneaky, maybe Auntie Lin will be easier to crack when she visits with Stella later!" Putting Faith down to sleep I crawled onto my bed and fell asleep too, she had me up all night and once again I had to sleep the day away.