DayDream (Liam Payne FF) (BWWM) COMPLETED

Sophia (Therapy)

Sophia. (Therapy)

It's been a week since I lost my baby.

After the doctors gave me pain medicine and antibiotics, they told me that my chances of a successful pregnancy are pretty low unless I take a ton of shots and pills to regulate my blood and the baby and it's overwhelming. The nurse that tended to me gave me a card to a good therapist in London... Thing is that I can't go to therapy in London.

That would be a disgrace to my parents & the media scrutiny would be out of this world for Li. I could already see the news articles "1D member Liam Payne leaves 'girlfriend' in the hospital in her time of need!" "How real are these Hollywood matches?- Liam leaves Sophia in Hospital"

No.

I won't let this happen to him. It's not his fault I didn't tell him. It isn't his fault that I lost this baby. Medical condition or no, this is on me and I have to deal with it. So after my sister covered for me as to why I was in the hospital; she said I had a panic attack, which I have had on and off for years. Li instantly felt regret for being gone for so long and immediately suggested a trip to New York, which I gladly accepted. I love London and Wolverhampton, but something about New York just recharges me.

I still don't want to be touched, but I manage to muster some smiles for Liam. He's an amazing boyfriend. We head to NY and do a ton of shopping & I secretly try to find a psychiatrist to talk to. After two days here with Liam, I knew I needed to. I've been snapping at him and generally being moody. I know that he knows something is up but I refuse to tell him when he asks what's wrong. I just say it's nothing and continue on and until my next verbal tirade & he doesn't deserve this.

I just can't bring myself to tell him.

Li went to a studio to catch up with a friend, since he's rarely in NYC and I take the time to look for a psychiatrist.

Glancing down at my phone to check the address I googled, I push open the heavy glass doors and walk over to the security desk. Telling them who I was going to see they checked my I.d. and handed me a sticker badge as well as directed me to the floor I needed to go to. Stepping into the dark wood tiled elevator, I hit the button for the 37th floor and took a deep breath.

I can do this.

The elevator doors ding open and I step out into the 37th floor.

The office of Dr.Theo James Huntington is written on the door in engraved cursive. The door also lists his phone number and states that he travels between NYC and Wolverhampton. He may be a perfect fit.

Opening the door and entering the office, I can immediately tell that his practice is doing well by the tasteful furnishings and overall feel of the office. People will pay big money to make sure their secrets stay secret. After filling out the new patient packet given to me by the receptionist, I hand the documents back to her and take a seat in a chair, patiently wait to be called.

"Ms.Smith?"

I'm greeted by a tall man dressed casually in jeans, a flannel shirt and black converse sneakers. His watch is also black, as well as the tee peeking out from his flannel shirt. He extends his hand with a smile, "I'm Dr. Theo, you can call me Hunter though."

Reaching for his hand, he helps me up as we shake hands. Gesturing towards an office, he makes a sweeping motion with his arm. "After you."

Walking into his office, I take a moment to look around as he speaks to his receptionist at the front desk. His office screams masculinity. Chocolate brown sofas against one wall, a bookcase stacked to the brim against another, followed by file cabinets. He has his degrees on the wall, a few pictures of him on vacation. His desk has a small intake tray with file folders, his MacBook, a digital clock and a notepad. Light streams in through a bay window, providing the perfect view of the city and sunlight. I close my eyes as the warmth plays on my face, warming my skin. The walls are painted a hunter green, it's soothing in a way.

I turn from my spot by the bay window when I hear the door click shut. He leans back against it for a moment before crossing to take a seat at his desk. He kicks his feet up and grabs his notepad and pen.

"It's nice to meet you Ms.Smi-"

"Sophia, please call me Sophia," I interrupt him.

He nods and scribbles that across the top of his notepad. "Right. So Sophia, what brings you to my office today?"

I turn back to the window, watching the traffic and people going on about their daily adventures.

"My baby died last week." 

His pen pauses as he looks up at me. "I'm really sorry to hear that. Please, take your time." 

I take a deep breath. I can do this. 

"Like I said, my baby died last week. I've been moody and I've been taking my anger out on somebody I really care about but I can't tell them why."

He nods understandingly,"it's natural to have some feelings of anger after a traumatic loss, like the one you've suffered. It's actually very commendable that you're seeking help early on so that you can learn to cope with your loss." 

He gets up and joins me at the window. He's silent as he studies the signs of life and daily routine going on below us. We stand like this for a few moments before he speaks again. "I'm sorry for asking, but how far long were you?" 

My hands subconsciously find their way to my stomach. "I was almost two months along." 

He nods thoughtfully before heading over to his desk & grabbing a card. "As I'm sure you saw on the door, I practice from here & I have a practice in Wolverhampton. I'll actually be heading back home in a few days & my associate will be taking over here. So if you need anything, I'll be a call and drive away." 

I nod, accepting the card, "I actually live in Wolverhampton so that's perfect. Thank you. I'm sure that in this business you understand ultimate privacy. My parents would be ashamed if they knew what happened and why I need these therapy/counseling sessions. If asked, it's for panic attacks. Okay?" 

He walks back over to the window and stares out. Half turning he says, "it's always a sad thing when you don't get a chance to grieve properly, Sophia. Don't apologize for any tears that may fall." 

I nod again and he turns back to the window, as I pull the door to his office open, I see him swipe his hand over his face. Closing the door quietly, I leave him to his thoughts. 

Exiting the building, I join the sea of people on the streets going somewhere. I tuck his card safely in my wallet and hold my head high, enjoying the sun's rays on my face. That's the only thing I'm enjoying right now.