Unbroken (Diall)

Chapter 30

Demi's POV

Niall and I sit awkwardly in the car as we drive. The radio is on, which helps fill the silence of the vehicle. My eyes find their way over him, studying his face. Eventually his eyes glance over at me our eyes connecting for a brief moment before he looks back out to the road.

"Demi what's up?" He asks reaching a hand over to turn the music down. Should I tell him? I mean, he would understand. At least I hope. He always has before, but I feel like I'm just pushing him. One day he will snap and he'll realize that he doesn't want to deal with me anymore. I could understand that.

"Nothing." I lie, turning my head looking out the window. We pass by several houses and people who are walking on the sidewalks. What am I suppose to say? 'Oh yeah, Niall I actually can't handle a relationship. My trust issues just keep lingering around?' No. I can't say that. I don't want to leave Niall. He's one of the only things that keeps me sane. Although, I wish I could just keep positive and worry about nothing but the album and my fans.

"That's bullshit and you know. Come on, you can tell me anything." His voice is gentle, letting me know that he means it. How did I find such a great guy? I wonder that every day. I sigh taking a leap of courage.

"Well I," I pause fiddling with my fingers on my lap, "I just feel so guilty."

"Why?" His voice is full of concern and confusion.

I huff, "Last night."

His eyebrows furrow together, "So you're saying you feel guilty for having sex with me?"

I groan and run my fingers through my hair. This is so hard to explain. Just tell him, come on. Let him know how you feel. So that's what I do.

"No. It's just with everything that's happened to me. Me having sex with you means that I gave you all of me. Basically leaving me without my shield. I let my guard down, which makes it easier for you to..." I take a deep breath, "it makes it easier for you to break my heart."

He opens his mouth to interrupt me, but I put my finger to his lips so I can finish.

"It's so stupid. I know you said you would never hurt me and I believe you. But there's that small part of me that is still worried you'll find someone who is far greater than I. So when I woke up this morning I realized what I had done and I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle the fact that I had given you what was left of me." I explain feeling my chest tighten and my throat burn. I was not going to cry in front of him. I will not cry. I may be many things, but I am not a cryer.

A small silence hangs over us, it's not awkward. It's actually peaceful. At least it is for me. My feelings were finally out there. I could finally be free of those thoughts, for now.

Niall sucks in a quick breathe, unsure what to say. Which is fine, I understand. But he finally speaks, "I thought we were done with this?"

Instead of sounding angry, like I had expected, he sounds distraught and sad. Making my heart ache. I reach my hand over to touch his, but he slides his hand away, further up the steering wheel. He won't look at me not even a glance.

"Niall, you can't just expect me to just forget everything." My voice comes out quiet and weak. Maybe that's all I am. A weak little girl.

No. No, that's not what I am. I am not weak.

Niall opens his mouth but I cut him off, "You know what? You're right. I shouldn't let my past bug me so much. It's the past for a reason." I say as Niall begins to smile, "The past does not define me. It only made me a stronger person." I'm not sure if I'm talking to niall, I feel like I'm more or less speaking to myself but with Niall as a viewer. He doesn't stop me so I continue.

"I want to be happy and I can only do that by letting go. Screw Joe. Screw those girls from middle school. Screw the people who doubted me. I'm still here. I won. So you know what, Niall, I don't regret last night. I will never regret anything that I've done with you. You were there for me when no one else was. My mom, Dallas, and you." My cheeks start turning red from ranting. Niall laughs his face having a slight pink tint to it.

I wind my window down at stick my head out slightly, "Do you hear that world? I'm free! I won!"

I pull my head back in and sit there silently. Niall looks over at me and laughs. Not one of his fake laughs, but a heartfelt loud laugh. This makes me laugh too, my real laugh. One that I haven't heard in a while.

I finally let go. I sit up taller and I feel like my chest isn't caving in on me. My body feels light like a feather, like I can fly away at any moment. My mind isn't stressing me on all of those nagging thoughts. Sure I still have to take a break probably, but it's wonderful to finally let all that frustration out.

I jump when Niall's hand grabs mine. His left hand is still on the wheel, his right hand encircled around mine.

"So where to?" He asks with a slight laugh. I now realize that Niall has basically been driving us in circles, since he didn't know where my meeting actually was. I laugh and tell him the name of the building I'm suppose to be at.

With my free hand I turn the music back up. I sit back and relax. I can finally relax.

"So we're good? You're good?" Niall asks finally with an adorable smile.

I smile and nod, "Yes. Everything's good."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This sucks. I'm sorry lol

It's short, but like I've said the remaining chapters won't be long. I hope this works though.

I'm praying that this chapter actually uploads correctly and you guys don't see random letters and stuff.

I still have no idea what that was.

Stay Strong.

~Lexi W.