Dan
"What the hell is he doing?" I complain, shifting further and pushing my back closer to Phil's chest, and I can feel his breath ghost over the back of my neck once he sighs heavily, tightening his grip over my stomach, his fingers barely dipping under my shirt.
"Why can't you just watch a movie in peace?" Phil nudges the bridge of his nose against the side of my neck, his lips brushing against the sensitive surface softly, before he places a single kiss there and my entire body goes pliant in his arms.
It has been merely three hours since Phil admitted that he thought of me as his boyfriend, and eventhough there is a strange warmth flushing down my chest, there is also a very familiar paranoia settling in my brain. I have decided not to overthink things, not to push my thoughts to the limit where I can't handle them, and although I am aware that it's gonna be hard, I'm willing to try. If not for myself, then for Phil.
Phil's mouth places another kiss against my neck, and I crane my head further, always craving the littlest of his touch. I don't understand this feeling of comfort and placidity washing over me whenever Phil touches me. It's different to what I'm used to.
I'm used to taking control, I'm used to making decisions, I'm used to put in all the work for myself and not care about whether the other person is feeling as good as I am. With Phil it's different, it's so different. It's calming and exciting all at once, I somehow want to fall into complete submission, I want Phil to make decisions for me, to tell me what to do, to make me feel good.
I don't understand why I feel like this, why I suddenly feel so small, so compliant whenever Phil's lips touch my skin but I do, and I'm afraid Phil doesn't feel the same way. The number of times I have kissed him, it has always been me, initiating everything, taking control of our actions. I'm not very sure if Phil is the kind of person who could be dominant.
I know it might not be a very big deal, but for a person who is as sexually active as me, and who just can't keep his hands off a certain blue eyed boy, I feel this annoying itch in the back of my head wanting to know what roles we play. Am I the submissive one or the dominant one or are we supposed to switch?
"What's wrong?" Phil taps his fingers against my stomach, leaning over my shoulder slightly to pause the movie that I wasn't paying attention to anyway, and I can feel my cheeks heat as if he can hear my thoughts.
"Um, nothing," I bite my lip, and make a move to shift away from him, but he just furrows his eyebrows, his slender fingers wrapping around my arm and pulling me back between his legs, this time facing him. Phil's eyes swim with worry and I feel guilty for acting weird with him when it's not even his fault. I just felt embarrassed because of what I was thinking and the only way to escape the embarrassment was to move away from Phil.
"Dan, you can tell me, is everything okay?" Phil's hands inch down from my arms to wrap around my waist, and I subconsciously straddle his thighs, Phil's fingers knotting together at the small of my back.
"It's fine, I'm thinking of stupid things," I don't bring up the fact that I think I'm incredibly stupid for suddenly feeling submissive, and although Phil furrows his eyebrows, he doesn't question it further.
"You can talk to me about anything okay?" Phil pulls me closer and my hands involuntarily travel up to grip his shoulders, my cheeks flushing when I notice just how broad they are. Fuck.
"Yeah," I smile at him half heartedly, before letting my fingers push his hair away from his forehead, his eyes closing appreciatively at the action and god, this boy will be the death of me.
"Can I kiss you?" I lean forward to press our foreheads together and Phil just giggles, moving his head slightly so our lips are brushing and I sigh softly in relief.
"Do you have to ask?" He rolls his eyes before pressing his lips against mine, my entire body going completely rigid and then melting under his fingers.
A low moan bubbles in the back of my throat once Phil's places his hand on the back of my head and forces our mouths closer, completely taking control of the kiss. My fingers twist in his hair, his digging in my hips, and I let out a small whimper against his mouth once he bites my lower lip and sucks it fervently between his teeth.
"Fuck, you're so hot," Phil pants, and I moan again, louder once Phil's hands travel to the curve of my ass and his long fingers grip the flesh tightly between his palms.
"P-Phil," His name drips down the tip of my tongue and he swallows it willingly, thrusting his hips slightly against mine and I downright groan in desperation, his lips leaving mine to attach to my neck.
"What the hell has happened to you?" Phil's words are punctuated with an arousing lick against my neck, his lips sucking in the flesh to mark a tiny bruise and I just grind my hips helplessly against him, feeling the need for him to do something.
"Phil, p-please," I don't know how to answer him because I don't know the answer myself.
"Please what?" He nibbles on my earlobe and I moan softly, basically bouncing in his lap.
"Please," My vocabulary is suddenly limited and Phil laughs slightly in my ear, his voice sounding huskier than usual, before he grips my ass in his hands again and pulls me flush against him.
"Want me to make you feel good?"
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what the fuck did i write
