Phil Lester
I am more than embarrassed by Dan's confession that he hasn't even thought about what is going on between us. I am sure he just sugar coated it for my sake, and he was just messing with me all along but a small, foolish part of me still hangs onto that silver of hope that maybe one day, we could be something. I tap my foot gently and impatiently on the car floor and sit close to the door creating as much space between me and Dan as possible. The air is thick between us and none of us have said a word.
Muse is playing quietly in the background but I am too drained to hum along it, so I stay silent and look outside as the sun begins to set.
"Where do you live now?" Dan asks me when we are on the main road and out of his drive way.
I give him directions to my place and he nods, speeding up slightly. It is extremely awkward sitting with him after what we just did. From awkward to yelling to making out and back at awkward, it seems like a cycle and we need to end this. I will not sleep with him, I have decided. I will try and tell him off the next time we are together because I am sick of this. If he sleeps with someone else after what we just did, I will not let him touch me, I promise myself and my sub-conscious cackles at me seeming to believe that I won't keep up the promise.
I have to.
He stops the car directly in front of my apartment, and I sigh looking over at him for the first time after what we did. He looks so beautiful as the street lights shine upon his face, and I can't help but stare at his raw beauty.
"So, um, text me yeah?" Dan breaks the silence and I slowly nod.
"Thank you," I look at him for a little longer, and he leans forward to brush my hair away from my forehead. My eyes automatically close at the gesture and it's not late when I feel his soft lips press against mine. It's a short kiss, and Dan pulls away too quickly, placing a kiss on my cheek after that.
"See you," he offers me a half smile and I return it.
"Bye," I just promised myself that I wouldn't let him touch me, and I kissed him goodbye.
I really am deep in this mess.
--
MY MOM TOOK AWAY MY PHONE FFFFFF
