Dan Howell
Phil has his forehead pressed against the window glass and I purposely drive as slow as possible, trying to make up for all the time that I have spent avoiding him. Only I know how much it has been driving me crazy, to not look at him, to not talk to him, to not touch him.
He has been an absolute dick to me, of course he has, but even after him doing whatever he did, I haven't been able to bring myself to touch another person. No matter how hard I try, it's always him in the end, flashing behind my eyelids and overtaking my thoughts and I'm just so fucking obsessed with Phil Lester.
There is not much traffic today, and my slow speed allows me to take a look at him every other second like I can't get enough of him. His dark fringe is fawning over his forehead in a messy fashion, and his soft lips are murmuring lyrics to a song playing at the radio that I don't find as interesting as I do him.
"So," I break the silence, watching him jump slightly in his seat as he turns his face to look at me, a soft pink coating his cheeks as he proceeds to bite on his lower lip.
"Yeah," Is his only response and I roll my eyes, before raising my eyebrows at him.
"Well? What the hell did you want to talk about?" Even though I have missed Phil like crazy, and every part of my body is just telling me to reach over and push his hair back into place and to kiss him, I will not let him treat me like shit. I have already been treated like shit by my mother of the year, and I am not stable enough to let someone else torture me like that too.
"Um, I, I just wanted to say sorry, I guess," Phil's words are vague and his tongue is stuttering and I let out a deep sigh before pulling the car to a corner and stopping it.
"I am not interested in that, either you tell me why the hell you're suddenly sorry or you get the hell out of my car,"
"Why are you so mean to me?" Phil folds his hands in his lap, his eyes not meeting mine and I almost want to apologise before I stop myself.
"That's not a question you should be asking," I roll my eyes. My guard is breaking down every single second I'm in the small space of my car with him, and if he doesn't tell me that he actually wants me any soon, I'm afraid I might do something stupid.
God damnit Phil just say it.
"I-I'm sorry about how I reacted the other day, when you were—you know, saying that—"
"I know what I fucking said," I seethe, and he flinches slightly before biting his lip.
"Yeah, um, I just, I want to give you—us a chance, because—because I—"
"Because why Phil? I don't have the whole fucking—"
"Because I missed you, and I don't think I can stay away from you for another day," He breathes, and I feel my heart skipping a beat at the simple statement as I stare at him with parted lips, unsure of what to say. He has his head dipped down, his eyes closed shut as if he's afraid of my reaction, and god I just really want to kiss him.
"Don't play games with me," I say instead and his head snaps back up, his eyes wide in what looks like disbelief.
"You don't believe me when I say that I actually missed you? What the hell do you think I'm doing here then?" His voice is no longer intimidated or nervous, it has a strong undertone of anger and hurt and it's making me mad again. How dare he yell at me when it's all his fault?
"Don't fucking start this shit with me Phil, you know damn well why I don't believe you," I mutter through gritted teeth and he throws his hands up in the air in frustration.
"Wow, I don't even know why I try with you," He spits before he unbuckles his belt and opens the car door, stepping out of it in a haste and not looking at me once before he begins to walk away. What the fuck?
I hurry to get out of my car, and he isn't that far away when I succeed, only a few feet.
"Phil!" I yell at him as I take fast steps, and he stops in his tracks before turning around, his cheeks flushed with anger and a frown on his face. God, how can someone look so breathtaking even when they're mad?
"What?" His voice is loud, and he doesn't step back when I approach him like I had expected him to. I am so fucking annoyed with him, and I open my mouth to say just that but the pink tint of his lips and the azure of his eyes makes me lose control on my tongue.
When I do nothing but stare at him, he raises his eyebrows, his cheeks flushing and his bottom lip easing between his teeth.
"What?" He repeats, his voice much softer and I sigh, shaking my head and easing my arms around his waist to pull him to me, my head burying into his shoulder and I hear him release a shaky breath.
"You make me so fucking mad," I mumble once he wraps his arms around my neck, and he giggles softly in response pressing a kiss against the side of my head.
"Do you want to come to my apartment?"
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aH its been a while since i updated this !! i hope ur still interested in the story :/
