Phil Lester
I walk hurriedly towards the pavement, my fists balled and my cheeks flushed and I can almost feel the anger that is about to burst out. I hate this. How dare he think it was okay for him to try anything on me again when he has been sleeping with different people every night? Did he actually think I was up for his games? Is that all he sees me as? A conquest? A one time thing?
I can feel my face heating, and my eyes almost burning as tears threaten to spill out. I grit my teeth and take fast steps, towards the direction of my house. I don't care if I fail the fucking project. I just want to stay away from Dan.
My phone rings in my pocket and I look at the caller ID. My voice almost breaks when I answer PJ's call, my pace slowing down and I slump my shoulders, wiping my eyes furiously.
"Hey Philly, I was just wondering when you were planning to—Phil? Are you crying? What's wrong?" PJ's voice is rushed as a small whimper escapes my lips. I am glad that the weather is unforgiving today, and no one is out to see my miserable state.
"I'm fine, I just, can you pick me up from near the coffee shop?" My voice is timid and I hear PJ shuffle around.
"Of course, I'll be there in ten minutes. Be safe alright?"
"Thank you,"
"Take care, I'll be there soon," He hangs up and I push the phone in my pocket, wiping my face and running a hand through my fringe. Why is this affecting me that much? Dan Howell is nothing. He is just a player, an extremely attractive player whom I should've expected to break my heart. Why did I even think that I had a chance with him? That we could possibly be a thing?
"Phil!" I hear his voice and my heart almost stops. My breathing shallows and my knuckles turn white from tightening my fists so hard.
"Phil!" He calls again and I whip around, hopefully not seeming like I could cry any minute, and look at him with disgust clear in my eyes. Why the hell did he act so sweet around me only to sleep with me? What kind of a person does that?
"What could you possibly want Dan?" I seethe, and almost melt again. His face is pink and his hair his messed up, his chest falling and rising rapidly as if he ran here. His eyes are squinted ever so slightly, and he places his hands on his knees, bending forward just in front of me. He is so damn beautiful.
"Let me," He breathes and stands up straight, taking a few steps towards me. "Let me take you home," He says.
"No,"
"Why not?" Is he serious?
"Why not? Seriously Dan?" I almost laugh. When he looks at me with a confused expression, I take a step back from him and raise my hands up in front of me.
"Just stay away from me,"
"But what have I done Phil? I never said we were fucking dating so can you stop being a wimp about it? How does it matter if I slept with someone?" He is right in my face, his breathing is heavy and I place my hands against his chest pushing him back.
"Stay away from me," I have nothing to say to him, except constantly telling him to get away from me. I just need a freaking break from this constant back and forth.
"No, I will not stay away from you. I am not a fucking idiot who'll just abandon our relationship because you are being a child about my sexual relations," I am the one being a child?
"Our relationship? There is no relationship Dan and there will never be! I don't want anything to do with you,"
"What is your fucking problem?" He throws his hands up, taking a step forward again.
"What did you think I was up for your one night stands? Not everyone is like you, just sleeping around and hurting people for fun!" I yell and his eyes flicker with an emotion I find hard to decipher.
"So what if I do that? At least I am not like you! Fucking crybaby," he says and my eyes almost water. No. I will not cry in front of him.
"Then why waste your time Dan?" I calmly state and hear the familiar roar of PJ's car. Thank god, I didn't know for how long I could keep up with this conversation.
"I-I," He seems at a lost of words as he stares at me.
"Just please," I close my eyes and the tears fall down against my will. "Leave me alone," I say and hear a car door slam. In no time PJ is beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as if to ask if I'm okay, and Dan stands there, his lips slightly parted, probably still looking for an appropriate argument.
"Hey?" PJ is hesitant towards Dan as I lean into his embrace and he tightens his grip on me.
"Bye PJ." Dan sighs, running his hand through his fringe. His eyes flicker to me and I find it hard to divert my gaze from the intensity of his eyes. "Bye Phil," And to my surprise he still steps forward, kissing my cheek and awkwardly taking a step back, walking to his car.
"You okay?" PJ asks me and I break down into sobs, turning my body and wrapping my arms around his torso.
"No," I answer, and PJ allows me to nuzzle my face into his chest as he rubs his hands comfortingly up and down my spine.
"What happened?" He asks me, pulling away and I desperately wipe my eyes.
"Nothing, I just want to go home," I tell him, and he shakes his head.
"No, you need a break. Go out with me tonight," He says and I look at him, confused by the choice of his words.
"I mean," His cheeks flush. "I mean to the party. Come with me to the party, tonight." He says and I shake my head, sniffling in the process. I don't want to be anywhere near Dan.
"C'mon Phil, staying in will not help right now," PJ looks at me pleading eyes.
"PJ please, I can't,"
"Okay, either you tell me what's going on or have some drinks at the party to forget about it,"
I contemplate his words, before sighing and giving in. There is no way in hell I am telling him about Dan and I.
"Fine," I sigh, slumping my shoulders and wiping my eyes.
"You'll tell me what's going on?" He stares expectantly at me.
"No, I'll go to the party with you,"
--
shadows will scream that i'm alone
